Memphis Tigers: The Young and the Coachless

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Memphis Tigers: The Young and the Coachless
(Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)

The following incident takes place around Apr. 1, 2009 in Shelby County, TN:

"John. Damn-it JOHN! How could he!? I thought he was going to be with me forever! I thought we LOVED each other! We were together for NINE YEARS! How could he do this to me? John is an asshole, and don't even get me started on that little tramp Kentucky!"

That is what the heartbroken girl Memphis is saying. Moping over her gallon of ice cream, she cries until either the tears or the tissues run out.

But it's understandable. John was a great guy for Memphis. He took her to many places. Most of the places they went to resulted in a great time. Some dates would end sourly, but those were few, and most of them came in the first three years of the relationship.

Since then, it was all good times, some even great times. In fact, when the two were in San Antonio, he almost married her. But there was only one ring in the city, and some jerk named Bill came and took it for his girl the last second. How Selfish of him (pun completely intended).

Anyways, after that day, Memphis was disappointed to say the least, but she was still happy with John. He was everything she could ask for and more. They were together for another year in which John had a couple of slip-ups around November, but nothing too serious.

He got his act together and they had four great months together until this old bully of his, Mike Anderson, beat him up and left him bruised. She asked him if something was wrong and he said "No, honey, nothing's wrong. I love you, I want to be with you, so let's just go home."

And then came the tramp. Kentucky started calling John, saying that her old boyfriend Billy wasn't getting the job done. The two were okay together, but Billy wasn't getting along with her family too well, and he also wasn't giving into her persistent talks of a long-time commitment. So she dumped Billy, and went after John.

She knew he always had a crush on her, and she also knew how great a guy he always was to Memphis. So she called, and John listened. Memphis wouldn't let him go. She promised to put out more than he ever asked for.

She actually offered more than any girl had ever offered a guy. John was truly torn, but at the end of the day, he chose his long-time crush, the sexy and tempting Kentucky.

How did that leave Memphis feeling? Heartbroken. Shocked. Speechless. She initially got out of her couch and threw away her gallon of ice cream, claiming that she would get a guy who would warrant a "WOW!" from everyone.

In fact, only a day after John left her, she went flirting at the club. She found guys and she flirted. A LOT. Her first sentence usually started with "Hi I'm Memphis, let's go back to my place!" and guys would listen. She flirted with some big name guys.

This slightly experienced guy named Tim Floyd was hanging around, so she wooed him, but he decided he can't leave Los Angeles. Disappointed yet undeterred, she went after this hunk named Bruce. Now Bruce and John don't like each other.

Let me rephrase that. John and Bruce HATE each other.

If anything would sting John, it would be Bruce sweet-talking the girl he left. So they talked a bit, but at the end of the day Bruce said thanks but no thanks.

This is where Memphis stands today. Angry, spiteful, and willing to give herself up just to get back at John. And this is where she is wrong. She doesn't need a guy like that right now.

What Memphis needs now is a friend. A guy who will be there for her, attend to some needs, but not all. Right now, she can't be thinking of a guy who will give her a diamond ring.

What she needs right now is a guy who will hang out with her, help her cope with her problems and help her slowly forget what John did to her. There's a great guy named Scott Drew. Never mind that his entire name is made up of first names. He is an outstanding guy. He took a suicidal girl named Baylor and made her happy again.

Then there is a good guy named Sean Miller, though I question whether his beau, Xavier, is a guy or a girl. She should maybe even go after one of John's good friends, Derrick Kellogg.

Sure, every time she looks at him she'll probably think of John. But Derrick is a guy who learned the good that John taught him and usually stayed away from John's bad habits (like flirting with others just to get more out of Memphis), so he would be a good guy to go after right now.

But here is my advice to Memphis: don't go big right now. Lay low, even though you may be lonely and want someone to fill John's void. Don't give away everything you have for the wrong guy, because, honestly, you'll probably get hurt again.

For now, don't try to have fights with the big girls just to get your name out. Stay in your C-USA neighborhood. Sure, its boring, but it's home, it's yours to rule, and you know that's the damn truth.

Give it a couple of years before you look for serious relationship material. And while that "friend" helps you get through your heartbreak, it is possible that he will make overtures and will try to be that void that John created.

My advice: listen to him. He might just be the guy, who knows?

Look, Memphis. John was a great guy for you, he really was. He did a lot for you. But there are others out there, and depending on how you look at it, they may be better men than John.

When John said "I love Memphis and don't want to go anywhere else," he was lying, and shame on him for it. But when he actually did leave you, he parted with the words, "It's going to be OK." And believe me, he couldn't be closer to the truth.

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