ECW: A New Era of Extreme (Week 13)

anonymous guyCorrespondent IApril 24, 2009

Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another installment in my exciting series of ECW: A New Era Of Extreme!

Not too long ago, I read an article written by someone in particular, (not saying any names). In that article, the title was pretty weird to say the least, as I had thought for a very small second that I had written it.

The guy who wrote this article just so happened to name his article:

WWE: New Era of Extreme, which can be found at this link:

It was by far the absolute most confusing thing that I've ever read in my entire life!

But other than that The guy just jacked me for my title, so as of now I am now copyrighting my title!

But now I just realized that he has just changed the title of his article, so my advise to him, just be more careful, man, and just try and take things slow as your article was kind of all over the place.

Smackdown: Ray Bogusz

Raw: Greg Bush

Highlight Reel: AkD

TNA: Kevin Canny

Superstars: AkD

Ohio Wrestling League: Jeff Gorman

Now that all the advertisements are out of the way, sit back and be amazed as I do my best to excite and rally your emotions as you read ECW!

A video recap of last week's episode plays.

The opening video and theme plays as ECW has now begun!

The pyro doesn't go off as John Morrison and the Miz are sitting on a couple of stools in the center of the ring while the lights are dimmed.

Morrison: Hello to all of you Mo-fos out there and welcome to the Dirt Sheet, I'm your amazing host, John Morrison and for six months I thought that Nancy Grace was a man!

Miz: A man?

Morrison: I really couldn't tell.

Miz: And I'm your chick magnet, The Miz!

Morrison: What do you think of Umaga's new found mentor, well err old-found mentor Teddy Dipping Ass-E?!

Miz: What?

Morrison: Te...

Miz: Never mind, I dont wanna know. Last week, Dirt Sheet fans, for the third time in three weeks, The Miz and John Morrison has been hit time and time again with tragedies.

Morrison: You are correct my ab-less friend. But it's all good because earlier on today, Paul Heyman had the both of us in his office for a meeting of sorts. 

Miz: He wanted to grant The Miz and John Morrison two slots in the Judgment Day Tournament! And not only that, but I think I know why he did it John. He did it because we...

Morrison: Reak of total awesomeness!

Miz: Not exactly, but we are pretty awesome,, aren't we? But that's not it. He did it beacuse we...

Morrison: Are just 2-Xtreme! As in Team Xtreme!

Miz: No Morrison, but we are pretty extreme, did you see how you moonsaulted off of the top rope with that ladder at Wrestlemania two weeks ago? Or how I hit Coffee Bean-ston with my Mizard Of Oz?

But that's beside the fact. He did it because we...

Morrison: Have the most destructive tag-team finisher of all time, the 3-D, Dashing, Divinity Drop!

Miz: What? We don't have a 3-D.

Morrison: We don't?

Miz: No.

Morrison: Hmm... I must've eaten too much tofu salad last night before I worked on these marvelous abs!

Miz: I have abs too! There just hiding behind my genius fat!

Morrison: Genius fat, ha-ha-ha...

Morrison falls out of his stool laughing so hard and he's rolling around on the mat. The Miz looks sad and just sits there as Morrison makes fun of him.

Miz: Are you done?

Morrison clears his throat and sits back down on his stool.

Morrison: I apologize for my un-professionalism. Lets continue, shall we?

Miz: Any way back to what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted. Paul Heyman gave us those slots because we...

Morrison: Need protein shake money!

Miz: If you interrupt me one more time, I wont take you to Bally Total Fitness after we leave here tonight! Now he gave us these slots because we...

Miz stops and looks at Morrison as he sits on his stool pouting.

Miz: Are the greatest tag team of the 21st century!

They both straighten up at the same time do there classic pose.

(All of a sudden, Jamie Noble comes out and he looks dressed for competition.)

Paul Heyman appears on the titantron.

Heyman: Hey, boys in the first match of this three week tournament, Jamie Noble will face the Miz in singles competition. Goodluck!

First Round Judgment Day Tournament

One-on-One Singles Match:

Jamie Noble vs The Miz w/ John Morrison

The Miz looks pretty happy that he's going to face Noble. The bell rings and the match is underway. Both men lock up as the crowd is totally behind Noble. Miz locks in the headlock and takes him down with a huge judo takedown. The ref goes down to check on Noble.

Noble slowly begins to fight his way back up to his feet and begins to deliver a few right handed shots to Miz's side. Noble gets separation from Miz and begins to run, but Miz grabs him by the back of his head and tries a reverse DDT, but Noble flips over the back of Miz and delivers a front dropkick to the back of Miz.

Miz hits his chest hard in the turnbuckle corner and gets rolled up by Noble, 1..2.. Miz kicks out and rolls to the outside of the ring. Morrison runs over to check on his fallen tag team partner. 

Noble sees an opportunity and bounces off of the ropes and delivers a big time spinning corkscrew splash on Miz and Morrison on the outside.

We cut to commercial.

We return with Miz stomping Noble down in the corner and then stops to yell, "Hoo-rah!", and then delivers and elbow drop to the sternum of Noble. He pulls Noble out of the corner and goes for a cover, 1..2.. Miz raises Noble up to break the pin. Morrison is yelling for Miz to finish Noble, but Miz doesn't listen.

Miz gets Noble up to his feet and throws him into the corner hard and Noble hits his back on the turnbuckle and he goes down screaming in pain. Miz stands up and does a small pose as the crowd is booing him terribly. Miz walks over ot the downed Noble and gets him up.

He throws Noble into the opposite corner. He rushes ahead to deliver his signature clothesline to the dazed Noble, but Noble quickly moves out of the way and Miz is left hanging in the corner. Noble charges to the back of Miz and dives knees first into the back of Miz. Miz slowly falls down to the mat and Noble drags Miz out to the middle of the ring.

Instead of going for the pin, he locks in his signature dragon sleeper. The ref goes to check the Miz. He begins his count on the Miz, 1-2-3!

Striker: Oh my God, Grish! Jamie Noble has just put Miz to sleep in the middle of the ring! Noble has just eliminated Miz! Morrison is in shock!

(The camera then shows Benjamin standing in Heyman's office.)

Shelton: Alright Heyman, I've waited long enough, so who in the world am I going to have to face to advance in this tournament?  

Heyman: Well Mr. Golden Standard I'm so glad you asked because your opponent for tonight is...

(His cell phone rings.)

Wait a minute.

Uh-huh he's standing right here. What?! How the hell did this happen? Its not fair to my ECW Superstars who are doing their damnedest to win this ECW World He...Ok fine, its done. Well he will compete tonight in the main event. Ok thanks!

Shelton: Well, who was that and why were they asking about me?

Heyman: Well that was the board of Directors and they said that you're automatically entered into the finals. So with that being said, this is now a tournament to see who will face you in a few weeks for the No. 1 Contendership. Congrats for not even earning your place atop the ECW mountain!

Shelton: Aww... dont feel bad Heyman, you are doing your best ya know? Ha don't worry, I'll wipe the mat with RVD or Burke at Judgment Day fat-boy! Ha-ha, so since I'm your main event tonight, who do I prepare myself to face?

Heyman: Well, it was going to be a non-title singles champion vs champion match, but because of your insult to me, it will be a six-man tag match!

Shelton: What?! That's no...

Heyman: Shut-up! You should be grateful that I'm allowing you to still be in this tournament! Tonight, its going to be you, Shelton Benjamin, Elijah Burke, and The All American American Jack Swagger versus  the ECW Originals!

Shelton: Well okay, but there are a lot of ECW Originals here tonight, which three do we face?

Heyman: I don't know yet, wait and find out! Get out before I turn it into an Extreme Rules Handicap match with the Originals and only you!

(Shelton grabs his title off of Heyman's desk and picks up his briefcase off of the floor and walks out.)

We cut to commercial.

We return with John Morrison in the ring and the Miz at ringside looking pissed.

Chimel: This bout is scheduled for one fall and currently in the ring, all the way from Hollywood, California, weighing in at 244 pounds, the two time slammy award winner, the co-host of the Dirt Sheet, and the Shaman of Sexy, John Morrison!

John Morrison takes a small time to do his slow motion taunt in the middle of the ring.

And his opponent...

After about 15 seconds of waiting in silence, Mark Henry and Tony Atlas comes out to the ring and Morrison looks like the air has been sucked out of his chest.

First Round Judgment Day Tournament

One-on-One Singles Competition:

Mark Henry w/ Tony Atlas vs John Morrison w/ The Miz

Mark Henry walks to the middle of the ring and laughs at Morrison. Morrison looks over to Miz and slaps Henry! Henry gets livid and begins to chase Morrison from the inside of the ring to the outside. Morrison then quickly slides in and Henry tries to, but Morrison begins stomping on Henry as he tries to get to his feet.

Morrison runs off of the ropes and dropkicks Henry in the face knocking him off of the apron out to the arena floor. The ref begins his count as Henry slowly tries to get up. Morrison climbs up to the top rope and waits for Henry to make it to his feet.

As soon as Henry gets up, Morrison delivers an amazing Shooting Star Press onto Henry and Atlas! The crowd becomes un-glued as they are now completely behind John Morrison! We cut to commercial. 

We return with John Morrison locked inside of a bearhug and Mark Henry is squeezing harder and harder. The crowd is rallying for Morrison to fight back. Morrison begins to deliver right hands to the head of Henry. Henry lets go of Morrison and Morrison bounces off of the ropes. He returns with a flying elbow shot to the head of Henry, but he's still standing.

Morrison bounces off of the ropes again and delivers yet another flying elbow. Henry staggers, but is still standing. Morrison tries for a third time, but Henry revives and smashes Morrison with his body. Morrison hits the mat pretty hard anf Henry raises him up and lock him in another bearhug.

The ref goes over to check on the dazed Morrison. 1...2... Morrison begins to slowly try and fight back, but before he gets the chance, Henry drives him into the corner. Morrison is out on his feet in the corner and Henry backs up as he's getting ready to deliver one hell of a splash.

He charges and Morrison leaps out of the way and Henry hits the turnbuckle and backs out of the corner in a daze. Morrison spring boards off of the second rope and delivers a flying chuck taking down Henry.

Morrison then climbs up to the top rope and hits a huge flying corkscrew splash. He goes for the cover, 1-2-3! Its over and Morrison has just upset Henry!

Atlas gets into the ring and checks on Henry. Miz goes to Morrison and they celebrate in the ring.

(The camera cuts to Shelton Benjamin, Elijah Burke, and Jack Swagger making their way to the entry way as we cut to commercial.)

We return and Elijah Burke and Jack Swagger begin making their ways out to the ring. All of a sudden pyro explodes and The Golden Standard Shelton Benjamin makes his way out to the ring as the main event is about to begin.

After about 10 seconds pass Paul Heyman's theme hits and he comes out to a massive pop! The fans are chanting, "E-C-Dub, E-C-Dub, E-C-Dub!"

Heyman: Thank you! Thank you! And now with out any more wasted time, I give to you, The ECW originals!

All of a sudden "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" by: Drowning Pool fills the arena! And the following video plays:

Tommy Dreamer, Raven, and Rob Van Dam come out to an amazing pop that reminds me of the old ECW!

Main Event Competition:

Six Man Tag Team Match:

ECW Originals (Tommy Dreamer, Rob Van Dam, and Raven) vs Shelton Benjamin and Team Swagger (Elijah Burke and Jack Swagger)

Raven and Swagger starts the match off. Swagger locks up Raven in a headlock and turns it into a hammer lock. He then pushes Raven and slaps him in the back of the head gaining alot of heat.

Swagger smiles and begins to talks trash. Raven smiles and delivers on hell of a right handed punch to his face.

Swagger falls to the mat and quickly gets back up to his feet. He tries to swing back, but Raven ducks it and hits a huge back body drop. Swagger rolls to the out side, but he's on the Originals side.

RVD runs off the arpon and hits a swanton like dive on Swagger to the outside. We cut to the last commercial break.

We return with Benjamin holding Dreamer in a sleeper hold in the middle of the ring. The crowd begins to rally Dreamer as he tries to get to a vertical base. Dreamer finds a way to stand to his feet and delivers a belly to back suplex on Benjamin. Both men ar down.

The Ref begins his count, 1..2..3..4..5..6..7.. Benjamin tags in Burke and he runs over and drags the hurt Dreamer back to the center of the ring and delivers a huge knee drop to the head of Dreamer. He goes for the cover, 1..2.. Dreamer kicks out and Burke locks in a chinlock.

Dreamer uses his stength and separates Burke's hands from his head, but Burke uses his knee and knees Dreamer in his back and locks in a surfboard stretch. The ref begins to check to see if Dreamer can continue. Dreamer slowly begins to stand as Burke is still trying to hold the hold in.

Dreamer gets to his feet and backs Burke all the way into the turnbuckle corner. Burke is hurt and slowly walks out of the corner. Dreamer bounces off of the ropes and delivers a huge facebuster to Burke as both men are down.

The ref begins his count, 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8 Burke tags in Swagger, but Dreamer get the hot tag in to RVD! RVD springboards off of the top rope and delivers a huge flying superkick to the jaw of Swagger. He runs over and dropkicks Benjamin off of the apron.

RVD signals for the rolling thunder. As soon as he begins to run, Burke grabs his leg and he falls. Raven gets in a and runs across the ring and hits a suicide dive to Burke on the outside. Benjamin tags himself in, but RVD never notices it. He goes for the rolling thunder and hits it.

Dreamer, Raven, and Burke are out on the outside, and RVD pulls the life less Swagger out to the middle of the ring. He climbs up to the top rope and signals for the five star frog splash. He leaps into the air, but out of no where, Benjamin catches him in mid-air with a hellacious pay dirt!

He goes for the cover, 1-2-3! Its over and Shelton Benjamin has just pinned the ECW World Heavyweight Champion, Rob Van Dam!

Burke and Swagger slowly recovers as Swagger grabs the mic.

Swagger: As for this little challenge that Katie's so-called boyfriend has issued for me this Sunday, I don't accept! I'm sorry, but I have entered this tournament and this Sunday I have to face the virgin, Evan Bourne. So, ha sorry!

Katie comes out with a huge smile on her face.

Katie: Well that's just too bad for you Swagger because my boyfriend really wanted to hurt you this Sunday. But its okay because he wants you at your best when he faces you. Let's just say that he is very STRONG-minded! Ha catch you later boys.

Her theme plays as Swagger all of a sudden is in a shock.

That ends ECW.


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