WWE Manual: Greg Bush's Idea of How to Run Raw, Episode Thirteen

GregCorrespondent IApril 19, 2009

Wow, boys and girls, tonight will be a hell of a show. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go to the last article.

For Smackdown, check Ray Bogusz.
For ECW, check Anonymous Guy.
For TNA, check Kevin Canny.
For the Highlight Reel, AkD.
For the Ohio Wrestling League, check out Jeff Gorman.


King: Ladies and gentlemen, it's a good thing you've turned in tonight because we have huge matches.

Cole: That's right, King.

First, we have another Tag Team Title Match which will put Cryme Tyme up against one of the Backlash Contenders.

Second, we have an announcement from the World Heavyweight Champion, Shawn Michaels.

Finally, we have an Intercontinental Title match between Dolph Ziggler, who is defending his title against Rey Mysterio and CM Punk.

King: What a night, folks, but right now please give your attention to the Women's champion!

Candice: Hello everyone! I am the beautiful and seductive Candice Michelle. I have decided that my title will be defended against Maryse at Backlash and not tonight. The reason being...

Maryse comes out and goes down to the ring.

Maryse: The reason being that you're scared of me? Is that it?

Candice: No! I am not scared of you, Maryse! I rolled my ankle last week and I can't compete until Sunday. Hell, I can barely walk.

Maryse: Well, it doesn't matter when you defend it, because I will take it from you.

She turns around but, when she does, Candice runs at her and hits her with the belt!

Candice: Sunday, you're going to go through Hell, and it will be for nothing!


Cryme Tyme vs Legacy

Cryme Tyme starts to walk out, but Legacy takes them from behind! They batter Cryme Tyme with lead pipes until they are unable to move. They then drag them to the back where Randy Orton is waiting.

Orton: Good boys, very good. That is how you take control. Now what's the plan for these two?

Rhodes: You're about to see.

They bring them to a limo in the back. They open the trunk and almost toss them in, but John Cena comes out of nowhere! He starts beating down both Legacy members, and tosses them into the trunk whiles saving his friends.

John turns to the camera.

John: Orton, you tried to teach your tent buddies to cheat? To rob my friends here? Well, we're the wrong people to do that to.

Shad takes Cena's wallet.

Shad: Man thanks for helping us out there John. You know what? Tonight I'm taking the three of us out. My treat!

Cena: That's nice, Shad. I appreciate that. It'd be better if you used your own money, though.


Shawn Michaels' Announcement

Shawn Michaels gets into the ring. He is still wearing his D-X uniform.

HBK: Hello, everyone. Thank you for listening. Last week, Triple H defeated Rey Mysterio to challenge me at Backlash. That's one of the reasons that I'm out here. Hunter, good luck. But, you won't beat me at Backlash.

My next point involves Chris Jericho. Chris, you were fired from Raw when you lost to Orton before WM, came back, and then traded. Now, you still have a bone to pick with me. You call me some old washed up fool, even though I just keep constantly whupping your ass.

I've kicked those smack talking teeth down your throat more than your boyfriend Lance Cade's "mic" has gone down there

Face it, Jericho. It's over. But, if you want that final match at redemption, I'll give it to you. Anytime, anyplace.

Now that that's over, Hunter, you and me are the two greatest wrestlers on Raw—hell—in the company. We've stuck with each other through thick and thin. At Backlash, that doesn't matter. I will do whatever it takes to keep this title.


CM Punk promo before match

Todd Grisham is talking to Punk.

Grisham: Punk, last night you betrayed your friend, Kofi Kingston. After a GTS, you stomped him out and came back here to say that you were tired of all of the cheap shots and tired of being cheated.

Punk: That's right, Tim.

Grisham: It's to...

Punk: Shut up! Tonight, I am facing the two smallest pieces of shit to ever walk the Earth! Dolph Ziggler and Rey Mysterio, you will both get what you deserve! I will rise to the top as Intercontinental Champion and might become World Heavyweight Champion. Tonight, you two will find out what it's like to get punked!


Punk vs Ziggler vs Mysterio: Intercontinental Title match

Mysterio comes out, followed by Ziggler. They stare each other down and wait for their other opponent, but he doesn't come out. The referee starts the match, anyway. Dolph gets on Rey with a combo but Rey rolls out of the way before the final shot, and hits a flying dropkick on Ziggy.

He then gets to the top rope and waits for the champion. When he gets up, Mysterio jumps off and performs a hurricannrana on Ziggy. Ziggy holds the ropes and doesn't go down, then powerbombs Rey Rey down to the mat. Ziggy starts pumping up and gets ready for the Dawn of Dolph.

He applies it, but before he can hit it, Rey turns it into a roll up.

One! Two! No! So close!

But Mysterio can't get it. He gets back up and puts Ziggy on the ropes. He goes for the 619 but he gets out the way. Rey is dizzy and Ziggy hits his partner's Lariat!

One! Two! No!

Ziggy applies a Sharpshooter with a bridge. He is holding Mysterio's neck while using the Sharpshooter! Mysterio is in extreme pain and almost taps, but the referee is pulled out by CM Punk! Punk gets in with a chair and slams it on both Ziggy and Rey! He puts it around Rey's neck and goes for the GTS. Dolph tries to stop it, but he is kicked in the head by Punk.

Punk hits the GTS with Rey's head in the chair! He gets rid of the chair and the ref gets back in.

One! Two! Three!

Punk just stole the IC title! He picks up the title and hits Ziggy in the head. Both men are bleeding. He walks over to Ziggy, but the crowd starts to scream because they see Ryan Braddock run in! He goes for a Lariat but Punk dodges and hits him with the belt!

He grabs a mic.

Punk: (breathing heavily) Now you three know what it's what it's like to be punked!

He gets out a can of black spray paint and sprays Punk on the backs of all three men.

Here Comes the money! Shane McMahon walks out.

Shane: Punk, what you just did was just disgusting. You almost broke the neck of Rey Mysterio, and you took out both Ziggler and Braddock. What the hell is wrong with you?

Punk: Well, Shane, maybe I'm just tired of being the good guy. Maybe I want to play the man who gets what he wants, no matter how much of an asshole he is.

Shane: Well, it's gonna cost you, Punk. At Backlash, you will defend your title against Rey Mysterio.

Punk: Well, how do you know he's going to be ready for the match?

Shane: Oh, he's already in good enough shape to take you out.

Punk: What?

He turns around and Rey throws a chair and hits Punk in the face. Punk rolls out holding his bleeding nose.


Orton's Promo

Orton comes out to the ring after the destruction has been cleaned.

Orton: Cena, come out here!

Cena comes out laughing.

Orton: What the Hell is so damn funny? You locked away my partners!

Cena laughs.

Orton: Not partners, I mean my men.

Cena laughs harder.

Orton: No! I'm tired of this! Cena, at Backlash you will face me for the right to fight for the World Title. Let's add a stipulation to it.

Cena: Well what's that Orton?

Orton: If I win, then you have to start at the beginning. You have to fight D-rate wrestlers before you take on anyone for any title.

Cena: Okay, and if I win, you and your butt bandit buddies will be split by the brands.

Stephanie walks out.

Steph: Wait, this can't be allowed by me, Cena. I won't allow this to happen. I'm sorry. Hahahaha!

Shane comes out again.

Shane: Well, the thing is, Steph, you own 50 percent and I own 50 percent of this show. So, there's really only one man who can decide this.

Vince McMahon struts out and the crowd goes crazy. Believe it or not, some of the fans are bowing to the man.

Vince: Stephanie, I will allow this. Oh, how about this as a stipulation, too: if Orton wins, his title will be treated as a MITB shot. He can cash it in anytime. But, if Cena wins, then you're fired!


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