The New York Giants recently announced their partnership with Timex. Timex will give them money for a practice facility and the Giants will put a patch on their practice jerseys.
This got me thinking...what if every NFL team had a sponsor? Here are my suggestions for all the teams' sponsors.
Detroit Lions: Netzero because they net zero wins.
Minnesota Vikings: Allstate, because you're in good hands on a cruise ship with the Vikings.
Chicago Bears: Sylvania Light Bulbs, when they're on, they're on; when they're off, they're off.
Philadelphia Eagles: Gas X. sometimes the pressure is too much.
Dallas Cowboys: Mattel Barbies, because their cheerleaders are more famous than their team.
New York Giants: Visine, get the red out of that jersey!
Washington Redskins: General Motors. After all, they both went to the wrong people for help.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Disneyworld, because it's an adventure to go to their field.
New Orleans Saints: American Red Cross Disaster Relief, they had to get down to New Orleans eventually.
Carolina Panthers: Left Hand Trading Company, because they are never right.
Seattle Seahawks: Zoloft, Seattle is the No. 1 city for depression and suicide.
Arizona Cardinals: The Republican Party, because they both lost their only chance at a victory.
St. Louis Rams: The Brown Paper Bag Company, because with that team, their fans will need them.
San Francisco 49ers: Bank of America, when you have too many quarter(backs), sometimes you need a refund.
Oakland Raiders: Halloween USA, because their fans are scarier than the actual team.
Kansas City Chiefs: Sonic, it's America's Drive Thru and let's face it: so is the Chiefs Defensive Line.
San Diego Chargers: In N Out Burger, because that's how they are in the playoffs.
Denver Broncos: Singulair, there's only one way to control that mountain air.
New England Patriots: Sony, it's all the same when you're taping it.
Miami Dolphins: Comedy Central, the storyline keeps you interested, but the punchline (ending) makes you laugh.
New York Jets: UHAUL, we'll move you to your own stadium for less.
Houston Texans: Tampax, those red jerseys look like used tampons (see above).
Tennessee Titans: Depends, for the oldest team in the league.
Jacksonville Jaguars: The FBI. After all, they already know the whole team on a first-name basis.
Indianapolis Colts: Indianapolis 500 because it's bigger than the Colts.
Cincinnati Bengals: Skyline Chili, some things give you the runs; some things just run away.
Baltimore Ravens: Goodyear Tires, they need something to pass to.
Cleveland Browns: UPS, can brown do anything for you?
Pittsburgh Steelers: Band Aid because that's what they need to give to their opponents.
I hope you enjoyed my fake sponsors, feel free to suggest any of your own!