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Dear Matt Walsh and Roger Goodell: No One Cares!

Ron JohnsonApr 24, 2008

To: Bill Belichick, Head Coach of New England Patriots, Roger Goodell Castro, NFL Commissioner, and Matt Walsh, former Patriots Assistant & President and Founder of Jose Canseco Fan Club

From: Ron Johnson, Senior Writer, Bleacher Report

RE: Spygate

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Gentlemen:

For six years, I have had to fume over my last trip to the Super Bowl. It was in New Orleans, and I watched as my beloved Rams fell to the New England Patriots 20-17. Now just when I thought I was completely healed from the burns I received from that game, you three idiots relight the fire.

In all honesty, and I speak for every football fan out there right now, we don't really care about it anymore. We have focused our attention on this weekend's draft, which is what at least two of you are supposed to be doing. The problem is that you have your heads so far up your own asses that you can't make heads or tails of this entire debacle that you call "Spygate."

As an avid and loyal supporter of the NFL, as well as the world of sports, it's become clear that the bozos who make the laws in Washington are more focused on ruining a good gameday for me. First was the steroids probe started by Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire. Then came Marion Jones. Then "Spygate" comes along and sidetracks them if only for a brief moment. The issue I have is that when you levied your penalty, Mr. Castro, we thought that it was over and dead.

Unfortunately, there was one more snitch still breathing in the prison yard. How that happened I don't know, but it did. 

Now I'm sure that you are happy that like our President of the United States, some debacle comes out of nowhere at the most opportune time. The opportune time I'm referring to is the fact that you managed to get yourself chastised in the worst way and by the most surprising people: Us, the football fans.

What makes it worse is that you get some disgruntled computer geek to do your dirty work. Matt Walsh is nothing more than a guy trying to earn his 15 seconds of fame by bringing down arguably the greatest dynasty of this era, the New England Patriots. And what proof has Mr. Walsh promised to deliver?

A tape of the Rams walkthrough from that very Super Bowl I attended. Word?

Before your date with Walsh on May 13th (and yes, I mean that kind of date), you have to ask yourself this question Mr. Castro: Is all this even worth the thousands of alka seltzers you'll be consuming and millions of dollars you'll be spending to find out if it's legit or not? I mean, seriously, what exactly can you do about that Super Bowl?

IT WAS SIX YEARS AGO!!

Are you going to reverse the score so that it shows the Rams as Super Bowl Champions? No. Are you going to suspend the entire 2001-02 roster of the Patriots for one whole season like Pacman Jones? Doubtful. Are you going to make Bill Belichick bend over and take it up the rear like Ricky Williams, Jones, Michael Vick, and Chris Henry? Probably not. So what exactly are you going to do if the information is legitimate?

The answer? Not a damn thing. There is nothing you can do because your credibility is already shot. If you were that anxious to find out the truth, this date you have wouldn't be happening on May 13th. It would be happening on April 24, 2008. But you don't want to know the truth, obviously. You just want someone to take the fall for your stupidity.

Walsh is slowly but surely becoming the most hated man in the New England colonies, but not as much as you. Patriots fans are still not happy with you smiling and gleaming as you handed Lord Lombardi's Trophy to the New York Giants. In fact, they're not happy with you taking away the first round draft pick that their team earned.

To top it all off, they're not happy with you actually taking time to listen to what Walsh has to say. 

But you are going to hear him out. Though it is the dumbest move you made since allowing Brett Favre to retire and letting the Bengals sit their only true hope of a postseason berth (No offense, TJ), you are going to listen to him. If you want to commit career suicide, that's your business. But you shouldn't drag the rest of us through the mud.

We're actually moving on from the scandal that rocked Boston. Since I am a Rams fan (and have been since birth), I do have the right to speak up and demand that you let it go. Because no matter what you say or do afterwards, the hurt and pain will still be there, and all of the Los Angeles/St. Louis Rams fans everywhere will have to deal with this situation.

You'll just move on and focus on new and exciting scandals to tarnish the hard work and true grit that 32 professional football teams exuberated through four months and 16 Sundays. 

Honestly Mr. Walsh, you are nothing more than a lackey for Castro. The very thought of you disgusts me and insults what little patience I have for this entire situation. I honestly hope that you move to Oakland and the Raiders fans drag you into the Black Hole, beat you senseless, and deliver an "Other Side of the Bay" Wedgie on a goal post.

As for you Mr. Belichick, I hope that you learned that not even you, the "God of New England,"  is above the iron fist of Castro. I hope that next season you do finish undefeated and win the Super Bowl to not only silence those damn '72 Dolphins that are still not in retirement homes, but also figuratively speaking tell Goodell Castro to kiss your ass. 

And last, and certainly least, Mr. Castro. I don't care how many law degrees you got or how many women you slept with to get your job, you absolutely suck at this position of NFL Commissioner. Granted, Paul Tagliabue was not my favorite, but at least he had the balls to deal with the entire situation when it was current. Now you're just dragging this big steaming pile of New England B.S. through our TV sets and dumping it on our chests to consume and enjoy.

I for one will not stand for the ignorance of the upper management of the NFL, and I know that there are several NFL fans who won't either. We are truthful when we say that we don't care about Spygate anymore. We are truthful when we say that we could give a rat's ass whether the practices were taped.

Next thing you know, you'll be telling us that Walsh has evidence that shows that my kid's 1st birthday party was caught on video and he wants me to be fined and suspended. But just like Spygate and the Dee-Dee-Dee moments that have come with it: NO ONE CARES!

So gentlemen, as a football fan, I ask you to please let it go. Not just for yourselves, but for the fans who freezed their balls off to watch Brett's last ride. For the fans who suffered through their teams' dismal shortcomings. For the fans who had to deal with Jessica and Giselle all season. For the young fans who are attending their first games with their dads. Do it for us, the football fanatics. If not for us, do it anyway.

Because we let it go after the Super Bowl. Why can't you?

With Deepest Regret,

Ron Johnson 

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