Search for Deep Throat Continues in Wake of Rob Lowe's Peyton Manning Tweet

Twitter nearly burst into hellfire flames yesterday after actor Rob Lowe announced he heard Peyton Manning would be retiring. Seriously, I've never seen so many Brat Pack references in a day. It was frightening.

Yesterday, Lowe asked the NFL Network's Rich Eisen what he was hearing on the matter.

Today, Eisen continued the bizarre tale by posting the following on his blog after speaking with Lowe (who has appeared on his podcast twice, for what it's worth).

"

At any rate, I asked him if his source on Wednesday’s tweet about Manning’s retirement from the NFL was Jim Irsay (the Twitter-happy Colts owner whose first follow was Lowe) and he said: “Absolutely not. It wasn’t Jim or anyone close to Jim.” Lowe did say he heard Manning would retire imminently from “a pretty-darn good source.”

"

The question remains, who the hell is Lowe's "pretty-darn good source?"

Some have tried asking him directly and failed. Today, he appeared on The Ellen Degeneres Show and let her know in no uncertain terms that the information he held was top secret.

From Amy Bartner of IndyStar.com:

"

Degeneres responds: "Yes it is, people are saying 'How do you know that?" and "What's going on?" And how do you know that, and what's going on?"

"I hope against hope it's not true," Lowe said.

"Well, you have some information, obviously, right?" Ellen pushed. "Somebody told you?"

Lowe dodged the question: "Ellen, I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you."

"

Who, Rob Lowe? WHO IS GIVING YOU THIS INFORMATION?

I turned to FBI agent and Indiana native Bert Macklin for answers, but it turns out he's not real. So I'll have to speculate.

Manning's father and agent denied the reports, so they're out. Could it have been Peyton himself?

Unlikely. Peyton doesn't seem like the kind of guy to just small-talk with people about his future in the NFL. Plus, I don't even know if Manning and Lowe are friends.

Could it be Eli Manning, hoping to plant the retirement seed in brother Peyton's head so the New York Giants quarterback could be the NFL's lone Manning? Was it Bill Belichick, sick of trying to out-scheme the cerebral quarterback in the playoffs?

Nah, both of those guys are busy these days.

Was it a local beat reporter in Indianapolis who had heard some retirement rumblings from those in-the-know?

Doubtful. What self-respecting actor hangs out with journalists?

Could it have been—gasp—Curtis Painter?

Unlikely. Painter's never proven he could successfully grasp a scheme.

Might it have been—even bigger gasp—Andrew Luck?

Wait, how the hell would he know? Is Rob Lowe hanging out with college kids these days?

Lame.

No, despite Lowe claiming the contrary, the most likely informant is Irsay himself. He's friends with Lowe, Manning's retirement would save him a lot of money and grief once the Colts select Andrew Luck and he's just Twitter-crazy enough to think that such a scheme might possibly influence Manning's decision.

Seriously, he's kind of nuts on the Twitter.

So, is Rob Lowe an unwitting patsy in a nefarious plot that goes way, way above him? Or did he agree to be the unlikely yet high-profile protagonist in this quarterback conspiracy theory?

Has he reprised his role as Number 2 in real life?

So many questions, so little answers. Such is life on the Internet these days.

Hold on, it's coming across the wire that Rob McElhenney has some breaking news on Chase Utley.

I've got to go...

Hit me up on the Twitter—my tweets are FDA approved.