The NFL Picks Column: Divisional Round Edition

I can't figure out why, but for some reason David Garrard makes me angry. 

His inflated sense of accomplishment after the Steelers game drove me batty.

At first, I thought it was the David Letterman gap in his front teeth that bothered me. 

But then I was reminded that I've always loved Michael Strahan.  So that can’t be it.

Whatever the reason, the guy makes me crazy.  And he’s not the only one.

There are certain sports figures that aggravate me to no end when they win.  So much so that it's been known to drive me into loud, uncontrollable, and sometimes violent outbursts.

I understand that I need some serious counseling.  Unfortunately, we keep electing jackasses to the White House who give too much power to the HMOs. 

And sports-related fits of rage aren’t covered by my HMO.

For the record, the following players are on my list...

David Garrard

I'm still unsure of the reason.  Maybe it’s his uncanny resemblance to Bubba from Forrest Gump?


Philip Rivers

Rivers makes me more angry than any other NFL player when his team is winning. He's the weak link in an otherwise tremendous offense—and when he wins, he acts like he's Dan Marino. 

Wade Phillips

He just looks stupid.

Either Gramatica brother

For obvious reasons.


That NFL official with the huge arms

Probably just jealousy.

Jessica Simpson

I watched your stupid MTV show...I know you hate football.  Stop pretending like you understand what you're watching.  Can't wait for Romo to pull a Brady and dump your ass for a hotter supermodel.


Nothing makes me happier than watching any of those people fail.

With that in mind, this is going to be a fantastic weekend!

Saturday, 1/12 4:30 ET: Green Bay (-8) vs. Seattle

East coast bias or no east coast bias, the Seahawks remain generally unimpressive.  They were able to survive against the Redskins last week, which is more than I expected out of them. 

I applaud them for this, but I'm still not impressed.

If they defeat the Green Bay Packers this weekend, then maybe I'll become a believer.

For the Seahawks to win, they'll have to take advantage of the Packers' safeties.  Both can be abused, and Hasselbeck is good enough (on most nights) to do it.

Woodson and Harris can both take almost any NFL receiver out of a game, so the Seahawks' depth at wide receiver is crucial.

Getting Branch back will be huge.

It would also help if they could run the ball.  Unfortunately, they can't.  Especially against Green Bay's defense.

And let's not overlook the fact that the Seahawks can't win outside Seattle.

As long as Brett Favre remains the 2007 Brett Favre, the Packers should roll.

Prediction: Packers by 17

Saturday, 1/12 8:00 ET: New England (-13) vs. Jacksonville

It's nice to think that the Jags can come into New England and defeat the Patriots. 

What a tremendous upset that would be.  A great story for an upstart team.  A signature win for an up-and-coming quarterback.

Unfortunately, the Patriots are a HORRIBLE matchup for the Jaguars. 

The Jags can stop the run, but have trouble stopping the pass.

The Patriots don't care about the run and kill teams with their unstoppable passing game.

It's real simple when trying to figure out who can and can't beat this Patriots team.  Just ask two questions:

Can they score 35 points against the Patriots' defense?

Can they stop the Patriots' offense from scoring 35 points?

For the Jags, the answer to both is a resounding NO.

The only team that can answer yes to both those questions is the Colts—which is why the AFC Championship game might as well be the Super Bowl this season.

This game will not be close.

Prediction: Patriots in a laugher.

Sunday, 1/13 1:00 ET: Indianapolis (-9) vs. San Diego

Congratulations to Norv Turner and the San Diego Chargers. 

They were able to defeat a one-dimensional, completely-decimated-by-injuries Titans team that had inferior talent at every position.

Reason to dance, right Norv?

There will be no dancing this week.  Tony Dungy doesn't dance.

Even if Peyton Manning repeats his six-interception performance from earlier this season, there's no way Adam Vinatieri misses the game-winning field goal this time.

Prediction: Colts in a laugher.

Sunday, 1/13 4:30 ET: Dallas (-7.5) vs. NY Giants

To me, this is the only intriguing game of the weekend.

The Giants have lost twice already to the Cowboys.

The Cowboys are a better team.  Top to bottom.  At almost every position.

But a few things about the Cowboys worry me:

1) Wade Phillips is still prominently involved.

2) Their offense is completely lost without Terrell Owens, and last I checked he still wasn't practicing.

3) Their starting QB is spending too much time banging busty blondes in Mexico when he should be watching film or getting treatment for his thumb.  Or at least pretending to care about the next week’s game.

(Can you imagine Brett Favre or Tom Brady doing such a thing?)

4) Wade Phillips is still prominently involved.

5) They haven't played well in almost a month.

Right now, the Cowboys look like a slightly more talented version of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers...except Wade Phillips ain't no Jon Gruden.

I HATE picking Eli Manning in the playoffs (twice in one year).  But there's always one upset in the divisional round.

Prediction: Giants win by 3

I'm SeanMC.

http://bostonsportsrants.blogspot.com