What everyone seems to be forgetting, is pictured to the right: Michael Jordan's shadow.
Not only is it the biggest, scariest shadow in the history of western civilization, it also routinely casts dark clouds over the entire city of Chicago to this day.
It took 12 years for anyone to even have a semblance of success while playing under the dark cloud of Jordan's shadow.
Derrick Rose made the All-Star team last year. But that was only because Chris Paul got injured.*
Do you really think LeBron want's to be in a city constantly bombarded by clouds, shadows and memories of the mythical Michael Jordan?
He doesn't. You wouldn't want to either.
If James did go to Chicago, he would wake up every morning and look outside and see the evidence of the somber effects of Jordan's shadow across the entire city.
James will have to hope that he doesn't literally get destroyed by Michael Jordan's shadow.
Some may think that this is ridiculous, but it isn't.
Even if LeBron James wins 12 straight championships, he will always be in the shadow of Michael Jordan.
Some say that winning six championships and establishing the Bulls as a team with a global fan base was a good thing. What these naive people failed to realize is that this created Jordan's Shadow - the same shadow that destroys Chicago's chance of getting LeBron James.
This article is a satire.
*Intentional error - its a satire!