Gambling on the Games: NFL Total Wins

As Art Land once said,  when Mars at long last attacked Vegas, "Even in a time of intergalactic crisis, people still want to roll them bones."

So forget politics, ignore Imus, put away the Pacman, and bet a wager a player can enjoy all season long.

It makes great bar banter to beg and babble about how you carefully analyzed your team's weekly opponents, and then back it up with your hard-earned dough.

So let's roll Cincinnati Kids, Vegas Vics, and Lefty Rosenthals....

The over/under wager on an NFL team's total wins. It's a bet one can root for weekly, all season long.

Well, that is if one doesn't bet the over on Detroit (6.5) on the promise of Matt Millen's Lions finally roaring, and Jon Kitna being the second coming of, albeit a soda-pop soaked version, whiskey-fueled Bobby Layne, then see them suddenly collapse again.

If the Lions roll out to 0-10, Kitna throws three interceptions for every TD, the defense gives up 38-points a game, and Ford Motors is sold to the Saudis at a deep discount, then your bet ends on Week 10, as the Motown Meows can't make it to seven wins. And rumors of the Los Angles Lions begin to fly.

Yeah, Bobby Layne was a bit better then Johnny Kitna.

The totals are calculated by professionals, so generally, except in the cause of catastrophic injuries or a string of key players arrested for felonies, the numbers are accurate. That is, a player will be watching his wager into the waning weeks of the season.

So let's roll dem bones to feed that jones...

Some see the Washington Redskins as a solid playoff team, as they are returning all of their starters.

My crystal ball sees an aging defense, a fragile running back, a young quarterback learning a new system, and freshmen that are still adjusting to the NFL coaching staff.

All that and they play in a tough division with no weak sisters. Eight is the magic number of wins for the 'Skins, and I say lay the $140 to win $100 that the 'Skins don't skate above eight.

If the wager lands on eight exactly, it's a push. A no play. Money returned. Most folks favor the under on this Redskin bet, so that's why one has to lay the extra vig, the $14 to return $10, on this particular one.

The 'Skins have tough games against the New Orleans Saints, Cleveland Browns, Pittsburgh Steelers, Baltimore Ravens, Cincinnati Bengals, and Seattle Seahawks. No sure wins there.

The Chicago Bears have been blasted in the offseason about the sorry wreck that is their pitiful offense. Likely a rookie left tackle, a rookie running back not adept at blitz pickup, the worst set of wide outs in the league, and the sad state of their quarterbacks will all make the Bears' future look bleak.

The Bears' defense and special teams should be good. The rest of NFC North has untested or weak players at quarterback, so their defense might be enough to steal some games. Their over/under is eight wins.

Can the Bears steal enough wins with some Hester luck and turnovers?

The Colts will crush them Week One. Lay the 10 points with the Colts early and often.

The Jacksonville Jaguars should also easily cage the punchless Bears.

But the Bears also play the Atlanta Falcons and St. Louis Rams, the two worst teams in the league. The Bears-Tennessee Titan matchup will be an ugly, low-scoring toss up. Make a mental note to bet the gameday under in the Bears-Titans matchup, even if it's in the 20s.

The Eagles, Panthers, Saints, and Buccaneers will all be short favorites or else pick 'em when playing the Bears.

So it comes down to the key divisional games. The Vikings raided the Bears for their best offense player in Bernard Berrian. They added sackmaster Jared Allen, who will line up over the Bears' rookie tackle. Even with a weak Viking quarterback in Tarvaris Jackson, I see a Minnesota sweep, due to the overall quality of their lines and Adrian Peterson.

Even if the Bears split with the Lions and Packers

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