Al Davis Contacts Texas Tech's Mike Leach, Continues Plot To Destroy NFL

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Al Davis Contacts Texas Tech's Mike Leach, Continues Plot To Destroy NFL

Al Davis is at it again.

The skeletal owner of the Oakland Raiders is supposedly courting former Texas Tech coach Mike Leach for the Raiders head coach position. Before I reveal how Mike Leach, Darrius Heyward-Bey, and Bruce Gradkowski are all related in a complex and heinous plot, let us review the history of Al Davis.

Al Davis was not always the man we now see on television. Scriptures tell us that years ago, Al Davis was actually young. Not only was he young, but he was an established offensive line coach at esteemed programs such as USC, before beginning an illustrious career with the AFL’s Oakland Raiders. And, believe it or not, Al Davis won games.

In fact, Davis won almost twice as many games as he lost. Astounding, considering the team has gone 29–83 since 2003.

Yet the details concerning Davis’ professional life become murky around April 1966—coincidentally, the same time he was appointed commissioner of the American Football League. According to inside source Wikipedia.com, Davis aggressively snagged the NFL’s top players with lucrative contracts, and basically hated the NFL’s guts.

Unbeknownst to Davis, other AFL owners struck a deal with the NFL, and the two leagues merged. Al Davis’ first grey hair appeared on this day.

More importantly, Davis swore that the NFL would one day collapse in flames.

Davis bided his time, and slowly gained power in the Raiders organization. Stealing majority control from his partners, he forced his way to the top, and never let go. To this day, Davis manages all aspects of his team, including football operations.

Some portray Davis as an idiotic, crotchety old man. I beg to differ. Al Davis is at the peak of his career, slowly implementing a plan to bring down the NFL, and recreate his beloved AFL—with the Raiders as the flagship team.

Why else would he sign Darrius Heyward-Bey before Michael Crabtree? Not because he wants to see the Raiders succeed, but because he wants to mess with the 49ers. If Davis can skew the rookie salary scale, he can negatively impact other teams’ success.

Why else would he rely on quarterbacks with the names JaMarcus and Gradkowski? Because he realizes that paying for real talent would only help the NFL, thus ruining his master plan. 

Mike Leach is just the next part of the puzzle. In order to create his AFL, the Raiders must be removed from the NFL. The only way for Al Davis to accomplish this is to create a team so detrimental to the league that they have to be forced out. 

People tell me that Davis was satisfied with Cable, especially after the coach-punching incident.

That is, until Cable started winning games. With Leach at the helm, players will be too afraid to even show up to practice. Or they might beat the you-know-what out of Leach. Either way, negative publicity for the Raiders. Or, as Al Davis would consider it, the best publicity.

So go, criticize Al Davis’ genius tactics. But don’t expect this to end anytime soon. Davis has some pretty awesome genes, and should have about 25 more years to fulfill his plan to bring the AFL back to power.

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