NFL: Mocking Mock Drafts

Ugh, I’m so tired of reading mock drafts. I even heard one on the radio the other morning. I think we all pretty much get it at this point. And what’s more, no one is going to be 100% right. Look at last year: who had the Dolphins taking Ted Ginn Jr. at ninth overall. Anybody? That’s right, no one did. And who’s to say that crazy ‘ol Herm Edwards isn’t going to take a punter with the 5th overall he’s sitting on (”With our offense, we need to make sure that we got a guy that can really boom the ball. I mean, we’re going to be punting A LOT!”). So with all that being said, here’s my mocking mock draft, which is just as likely to happen, and probably more fun to read. Oh, and I’m only doing the top 10 picks, because who cares what the hell the Panthers are going to do!

#1 - Dolphins: Lawrence Taylor - Bill Parcells loves him some LT. He drafted Demarcus Ware because he reminded him of LT. He bought stock in Google because LT recommended it. He would totally draft LT all over again. And LT could really use the paycheck.

#2 - Rams: Time Machine - The year 2000 never looked so sweet! And with this pick, the Rams have found the only way to relive those glory days.

#3 - Falcons: Mike Vick - Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on Arthur Blank. At least this time they didn’t basically trade Ladanian Tomlinson for him…

#4 - Raiders: Al Davis - Only Al Davis is cuh-razy enough to draft himself fourth overall. The only upside is he’ll probably get fed up and cut himself halfway through training camp.

#5 - Cheifs: Jake Long - No one predicted he would fall this far, the Chiefs need O-line help, and I can’t think of a good joke for them.

#6 - Jets: Whomever they think the Patriots are going to draft - If there is one thing Mangini and the Jets like more than winning, it’s dicking over his old team. “Undefeated season? Pssh! We stole your draft pick!”

#7 - Patriots: Not who the Jets thought, but someone even better -
Mangini: “Nooooooo!”
Belichick: “Mwuahahaha!”

#8 - Ravens: Raghib “Rocket” Ismail - The Ravens have needed help at receiver for years, and when they saw The Rocket on Pros Vs. Joes, they knew they’d finally found their answer.

#9 - Bengals" Inmate 54082 - They’re super pissed Vick is off the board.

#10 - Saints: Peyton Manning’s First Born Son - Hey, Drew Brees can’t throw forever, and they feel like they owe it to Archie.

Enjoy the draft this weekend.