John York and Al Davis: What Movie Characters Are They?

Shamus StaffordCorrespondent IApril 28, 2009

SAN FRANCISCO- FEBRUARY 12: San Francisco 49ers owner John York listens as newly named head coach Dennis Erickson addresses the media  during a press conference on February 12, 2003 at the Four Seasons Hotel in San Francisco, California. (Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

The Bay Area's NFL teams have had losing seasons now since 2003. The Oakland Raiders and San Francisco 49ers are proud organizations that demand excellence and success, but Al Davis and John York have run these teams into the ground. I can't help but compare each of these guys to infamous movie villains.

The 49ers have not succeeded under the ownership of John York, Eddie DeBartolo's brother-in-law. I wish I could hear the Christmas conversations these two have at the dinner table. "Eddie D" was the best. He will always be held in the highest regard in San Francisco.

York, on the other hand, doesn't have a clue. He is cheap and not football smart. How could a guy who is in the same family as Eddie DeBartolo, who is so beloved, be so hated in the same area? You reap what you sow.

I compare John York to "Jabba the Hutt." Look at his physique. He has a band of minions surrounding the 49ers who make terrible decisions and have even spitballed the idea of moving the team to Los Angeles. Who will be our Luke Skywalker? Shaun Hill? Frank Gore? I don't think they have the intergalactic skills to deliver us from evil.

My grandfather, a survivor of the Battle of the Bulge, is turning over in his grave.

Al Davis has officially lost it. He runs his team based off of fear and bullying. He makes mistake after mistake and is burying the Raiders in failure.

The movie character I compare Davis to is "Lo Pan" from John Carpenter's classic Big Trouble in Little China.

The bad news is that Lo Pan lived to be over 300 years old, and Al Davis is only 71 years old. If I were a Raider fan, I would be praying that Kurt Russell was going to show up in the "Pork Chop Express" to save us. We could always maybe find a Chinese girl with green eyes to appease Davis.

The Raiders will never win with Al Davis at the helm.

With the 49ers, however, there is a ray of hope: Jed York. He wants to win.

I hope he has Eddie DeBartolo's frame of mind. If not, I hope Roger Goodell reinstates Eddie DeBartolo. If he reinstates Michael Vick, why can't he forgive Eddie DeBartolo for the racketeering charges?

It just makes no sense!