Ranking the Worst Songs Recorded by Pro Wrestlers

Sharon GlencrossContributor IApril 13, 2013

Ranking the Worst Songs Recorded by Pro Wrestlers

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    Let's face it: Some wrestlers should just stick to, you know, wrestling.

    This is particularly evident when we examine the songs some of these stars have unleashed on the unsuspecting general public over the years.

    Badly written, badly performed...these tunes are indisputable proof that some ambition and access to a recording studio can be a very dangerous thing. 

    So have a look (and listen) at the following slideshow if you dare. Frankly, some of these guys and gals make Justin Bieber look like Bob Dylan.

5. Jillian Hall: "Jingle Bell Rock"

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    Yeah, so no one is about to confuse Jillian Hall's 2007 Christmas album A Jingle with Jillian with Susan Boyle's The Gift or Bing Crosby's White Christmas.

    Recorded at a time when Hall's intentionally awful karaoke gimmick was at its peak, A Jingle with Jillian is an absolute assault on the ears. It's hard to choose the worst one out the bunch, but let's go with "Jingle Bell Rock" which turns a classic song into one of the worst tunes ever.

    On the bright side, at least it was meant to be bad, which is more than can be said for the following...

4. Maria Kanellis: "Fantasy"

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    Former WWE Diva Maria Kanellis has a lot of talent. She's a great manager for Mike Bennett in ROH, oozes charisma, beauty and grace whenever she cuts a promo and is even shaping up to be a pretty decent pro wrestler.

    But as a singer? Not so much. In fact, the less said about her wretched 2010 record Seven Sins, the better. Leading track "Fantasy," in particular, truly does come off like the worst Evanescence/Amy Lee ripoff ever.

    But, hey, look at the video for it is original and sort of cool.

3. Randy Savage: Be a Man

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    In 2003, Randy Savage released his unintentionally hilarious album Be a Man. Notably, on the CD's leading track, he targeted real-life enemy Hulk Hogan, hurling various insults and insinuations at his former tag team partner.

    Basically, the idea is that Savage wants to fight Hulk, and the star is ducking him out of fear ("Be a Man, Hulk!").

    Tupac, this was not.

    The track's greatest moment? Probably when Savage trashes Hulk Hogan's laughably bad movie career, only to gloat about his own Hollywood accomplishments (he had a small part in Spider-Man).

    "I was in Spida-Man....you're hiding man!"

2. Zack Ryder: "Hoeski"

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    Zack Ryder has tried everything: Wrestling, directing, writing, acting, etc.—and all with varying degrees of success. It really depends how you look at it.

    His attempts at singing, however, can undoubtedly be labelled a flop. "Hoeski" is a truly terrible song in which Ryder berates an ex-girlfriend over her shoddy treatment of him.

    On the other hand, the track did do very well on iTunes when it was released earlier this year, even cracking the top 100 on the iTunes pop charts. I guess Ryder gets the last laugh.

1. Jeff Hardy: "Another Me"

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    Jeff Hardy clearly likes to think of himself as a creative free spirit. Just take a look at the buckets of face paint he throws on his face before heading out to a TNA Wrestling ring. He's an expressive guy, you know?

    Sadly, one wishes he would limit his creative ambition to drawing and painting, particularly after listening to Perox?gen, Hardy's grunge band on the side.

    Surely, that is one of the worst names for a band ever?

    While Hardy has (some) talent for painting, he really has no discernible musical skill to speak of. He can't sing. At all. Or write good songs.

    It's hard to pinpoint one truly awful track of theirs. Really, most of their catalog could probably make this list. "Reptilian" and "Humanomoly" are particularly strong candidates.

    But let's go with what is probably their most known song: The incoherent "Another Me," which served as his TNA theme for a while. "Another nap is what I need to take!" he croons mournfully at one point, sounding like a pretentious five-year-old.