20 Little Kids Who Are More Athletic Than You
There was probably a time in your life when you believed you really could do anything. Like if you worked hard enough and wanted it bad enough, anything was possible.
Then you grew up and realized that was just a lie adults feed most children to keep them from just giving up completely and dropping out of school after second grade to pursue a career as a child laborer.
The truth is that there are approximately seven billion people on this planet of ours and the odds of you being the best at anything are almost nonexistent. With that many people, the odds that you would qualify as good, or even mediocre, at something aren't much better.
That's obviously not a lesson we want to teach kids, but most of us figure it out for ourselves at some point and have long since come to terms with the fact that we'll never be the best at anything. However, realistically speaking, adults should be better at most things than kids.
Seriously. We're bigger. We're more educated. We're not as easily spooked. We can go an entire day without crying or taking a nap. Unless the game is fitting into a confined space or asking an endless stream of inane questions, we should kick the collective butt of children everywhere.
But that's just not how the game works. Not everyone is dealt the same hand. There are kids out there that accomplish more by 9 a.m. than some of us do in an entire day. And there are kids out there who were born with more God-given talent in their frail infant bodies than you could develop over a lifetime.
That's life. And these are 20 kids who are already more athletic than you could ever hope to be.
20. Three-Year-Old Slugger Making It Happen Without PEDs
In this video, three-year-old Brady steps up to the plate and connects with pitch after pitch. His dad overplayed his hand a bit with the sloppy editing tricks, but that doesn't mean this kid isn't impressive.
Brady is barely out of diapers and he already looks better than pretty much everyone in DC who plays in a recreational softball league.
In fact, give this kid a bottle of Maker's Mark and I'd swear he was Babe Ruth!
19. The Next, Next...Next Tiger Woods? You Never Know
Golf is often dismissed as something less than a sport by people with next to no knowledge of how difficult it is for most people. There are some people who play golf recreationally their entire lives who will never be as good as this kid is at four years old.
But you know what's almost as impressive as the kid's swing? The fact that there are adults trolling him on YouTube. I suppose that's just the world in which we live though.
18. 10-Year-Old Hockey Player Will Make You Look Like a Lamppost
This 10-year-old hockey player is another head-scratching talent that is operating on a whole different level than the rest of us. I say head-scratching because his ability to single-handedly dominate an opposing team of five boggles the mind.
These highlights from a game in 2009 are basically showcasing No. 39 as he evades his opponents with as much ease as a stationary orange cone during a training session.
This kid is going to be making lives miserable for a very long time.
17. Kid with Mohawk Does Lars Frederiksen Proud
A little kid with a mohawk is normally a little ridiculous. Every legit punk rocker out there knows that it's not just a haircut—it comes with expectations that are usually impossible for a child to live up to.
This eight-year-old is definitely the exception to that rule. Not only is scaling the stone wall above the fireplace something that most adults couldn't do, but it's also something most of them would never even think of.
But when squares look at a decorative stone wall and just see a wall, badass punk rockers like this kid see a mountain to be climbed…a poser to be crushed…a man to be damned!
Rock on, little man, rock on. (You'll have to look up the Lars Frederiksen reference yourself)
16. Freshman Basketball Sensation Can Already Play with the Big Boys
At 14 years old, basketball standout Jashaun Agosto is definitely older than most of the kids on this list, but he's just too dang good to leave off. He's a 5'1" point guard at Garfield High School in Seattle and the only freshman on the 2011 varsity team.
If you're into college hoops, you might want to remember his name because he's going to be one of the top prospects nationally in the class of 2016. You can bet he's already attracting attention from the top universities.
Agosto is already a man among boys on the court—just imagine how dominant he's going to be in four years when he's actually a man.
15. This Kid Is Better at Everything Than Everyone
Six-year-old Giuliano Stroe became a viral sensation in 2009 after videos of him demonstrating his ridiculous strength and incomprehensible agility began surfacing on the web.
That was the same year he busted his way into the Guinness Book of World Records by recording the fastest ever time for walking 33 feet on his hands with a ball in between his legs.
Yes, that's a thing. No, I have no idea why it's a thing.
Stroe isn't playing any actual sports in this video, but he still showcases enough of his skills to convince me that he could beat you at pretty much anything.
14. Australian Girl Channels Spiderman on Vertical Climb
Rock climbing isn't something you normally associate with little kids—probably because it's dangerous and most parents try to keep their children away from activities that could end in someone plummeting to their death.
But if there's one thing I learned from Crocodile Dundee, it's that Australians are fearless, knife-wielding daredevils. Sure, it's a stereotype, but seven-year-old Angie Johnson isn't doing anything to disprove it!
She looks like a superhero in the making scaling this vertical, and often inverted, rock in Australia's Blue Mountains. I will never do anything half as cool for the rest of my time left on this earth. How depressing.
13. FC Barcelona Just Might Be Grooming the Next Messi
Seven-year-old Kai Fifield created quite a stir when he was invited to a trial for Barcelona in 2011. The assertion that he's "The New Messi," as suggested by the uploader on YouTube, is a bit premature.
That being said, there's no question that this kid is a standout talent and by far and away the most gifted athlete on the pitch. Fifield may very well be the smallest player invited to the trial, but he towers above everyone in terms of talent.
He definitely would have made the varsity soccer team at my high school.
12. Little Girl Puts Your Table Tennis Unit in Gym to Shame
This six-year-old ping pong prodigy has the catlike reflexes that you once had, but have been dulled by years of binge drinking and your sedentary lifestyle.
Ping pong is obviously a much bigger deal in Asia, but you don't have to be an aficionado to appreciate her skills.
She's got such lightning speed returning the ball that it feels like the whole video is being played in fast forward.
Now you're probably wondering if those skills would translate to beer pong. Me too. And I think they would.
11. Toddler Rivals Olympic Skier Bode Miller, Bests Him in Personality
Apparently there is a population of people out there who have been skiing for almost as long as they have been walking.
I do not count myself among that population. I got started skiing at a much later age and was never able to fully embrace it because kids like this were zipping past me on the slopes, spraying snow in my face before they disappeared in the horizon.
Three-year-old Alex zips down the slopes, weaves through the crowd and navigates sharp turns through the trees like a teeny-tiny Bode Miller—but without the bad attitude.
That is, when he's not showboating and skiing backwards. Jerk.
10. Little Girl Has One Less Grand Slam Than Andy Roddick
Like golf, tennis is another sport that is way harder than it looks. It has a relatively simple premise which people can understand, but can rarely execute at a high level.
I've been watching the same people at the park playing tennis on the regular for years, and they barely reach mediocre status on their best days.
Five-year-old tennis prodigy Julia has already mastered the game and could probably beat you with one hand tied behind her back. Literally.
9. Young Baller Poised to Make People FeelBad About Themselves for Years to Come
Nine-year-old Jaylin Fleming has got the kind of ridiculous talent that makes everyone else look like hot garbage juice in comparison.
He can dribble one ball. He can dribble two balls. He can dribble them super fast. He can shoot free throws. He can sink threes. He can fake out a grown man.
Basically he's everything you dreamed of being when you were riding the JV bench for three years in high school before quitting in an effort to save a little dignity…even though it was far too late.
8. He's Probably Still Learning to Read, Yet...
Another five-year-old who sees more action in a single day than some of us see in a year! Kobi Clements may still be learning to read and is years away from having to tackle fractions, but he can already surf.
Like surf surf. Not like the people that hang out in the waters off of Waikiki all day and catch a two-foot wave every three hours. This kid is straight up legit and would make you look like a fool!
7. This Kindergartner Is Living Your Teenage Rebel Dream
Skateboarding is really hard, which is why most of us have the exact same experience with the sport. We begged our parents for years to get us a board for Christmas. Eventually they caved because the whining was ruining their lives.
We rushed outside to begin what was sure to be a career in professional skateboarding. Within an hour we suffered a number of relatively serious injuries and never picked up the skateboard again.
That's pretty much what happens in this video—except for this kid turns out to be the best skateboarder in the world and he lived happily ever after. Gah. Not fair. He's freaking five!
6. First Grader Makes an Unassisted Triple Play
An unassisted triple play in baseball is kind of like Halley's Comet—they come around once every 65 years or so. Okay, maybe they're not quite that rare. But seriously! There have only been 15 total in all of major league baseball history. And that's when you've got the best talent in the world on the field.
When you've got a bunch of six-year-olds at a Little League game, the last thing anyone expects is an unassisted triple play. We expect whining, kids running the wrong direction between bases and adults who refuse to keep score.
That makes the fact that it happened all the more impressive. There's no chance the kids on the field recognized the epic nature of the play as it unfolded, but you know his dad is going to be telling that story on his deathbed.
5. Two-Year-Old Golfer Is Already 10 Times the Human You'll Ever Be
Another ridiculously talented little golfer! Only little Joseph is two years younger than the one listed previously. Seriously—this kid is two years old. His very existence on this planet is like a slap in the face from God for the rest of us.
Joseph is driving a golf ball 75 yards and sinking puts while (presumably) wearing diapers. Most kids are too busy sucking on crayons at that age to do anything even close to productive. Some adults don't fare much better.
But let's bring this back down to earth a little. Joseph is amazing, and he would definitely beat you at a round of golf, but his short game needs some work.
4. Soccer Superstar with Showmanship to Spare
The Belgian football club Anderlecht seems to have a superstar in the making on their hands with Dilhan Necipoglu. Tricks don't necessarily carry over into game play, but they are a clear indication that this kid has some serious talent.
He was only 12 years old in this video and he's already the Harlem Globetrotters of show-stopping soccer tricks. Nilhan would wipe the pitch with your aging behind.
3. Hockey Phenom Proves a Tough Act to Follow in Boston
This nine-year-old hockey prodigy had the opportunity to show off his skills before a Bruins game in 2009—and show off his skills he did! Oliver Wahlstrom is so good that he plays with kids three years older than him in his hometown of Portland, Maine.
When I first saw this video, my immediate reaction was, "Ah! The Penguins should draft this kid this year!" Yes, I'm a Pens fan. And if Nick Saban can offer scholarships to eighth-graders, then we should be able to draft this kid. Just sayin'.
2. Pee Wee Running Back Goes It Alone
There are few things less impressive than youth football. Generally it's just a bunch of athletically ungifted children running around aimlessly, and occasionally one of them stumble into the end zone.
That's why when a truly talented player like Rasheed Singleton comes along, he can usually win the game entirely on his own. And that's pretty much what he does in this video—beating nearly every player on the field twice before scoring.
Singleton is what ESPN's Merril Hoge would call a "factor back." Meaning he's the only factor on the field, so everyone else better watch their backs! Boom. Rock on, Rasheed.
1. Miracle Skiing Baby Can Ski, Miraculously
The kid in this video doesn't do much besides ski down the bunny slope without wiping out. That feat sounds a lot more impressive once you know that the kid is 14 months old.
Just over a year prior she was nothing more than a basketball-sized lump in her mother's belly! And here she is coasting down a snowy hill on two metal sticks!
She wears diapers. She doesn't have all of her teeth. She thinks Cheerios represent 70 percent of all food on earth. But she can coast down a hill on skis.
As far as I'm concerned, this is a miracle. She might be Jesus.
**Speaking of miracles—you should follow me on Twitter: Follow @blamberr