Dear Al Davis, Isn't It Time For Your Nap?

A S

Correspondent Written on November 08, 2008

Dear Al,

At the ripe ol' age of 104, don't you think it's time to pack up and move to Florida? (Say Hi to that young whippernsapper Jon Gruden for me!) It's time to trade in your business suits for hoodless sweatshirts and suede velcro shoes.

Come on Al. Let the Raiders go. Remember when you fired future Hall of Famer Mike Shanahan after 20 games? Oopsy!

In the last half dozen seasons, you've thrown about as many coaches out of Oakland as Jamarcus Russel has touchdown passes. You could try to coach the team yourself...but you stepped down as a coach 43 years ago after leading one of the worst teams in the history of the AFL.

In the last five seasons, your beloved Raiders have lost more games than the 49ers—and yes—even more than the Detroit Lions. Sorry, let me say that again in case you forgot to put on your bifocals. In the last five seasons, your Raiders have lost more games than the Detriot Lions.

I'm surprised the Raider faithful hasn't burned and pillaged McAfee Stadium to the ground. If they only put half the effort they put into their spikey black and silver uniforms of destruction into getting you out of the front office, you'd probably be eating Fig Newtons and watching Wheel of Fortune someplace warm by now.

Al, it's time to retire. Please.

Sincerely,

Concerned Citizen of B/R

p.s.—Good call on getting that fourth round pick from New England. Who did you have to give up? A wide receiver? Randy Moose or something? I'm sure he wasn't any good.

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written on November 08, 2008 Humor