20 Most Annoying Nicknames in Sports

During my high school football-playing days, I was given two different nicknames, one good and one bad.

The good one was "Flash." It may not have been the most original, but it was a compliment.

The bad one was "Peanut," because I was the smallest starter on the squad. Our defensive coordinator was a grizzled Vietnam veteran who left a trail of chewing-tobacco crumbs all over the field and liked to take the piss out of everyone.

"Read the tight end, Peanut—if he engages in a block, you have contain against the run!" he'd yell at me during practice.

Suffice it to say, the "Peanut" nickname annoyed me quite a bit (though my teammates enjoyed it, mostly because they knew that it got a rise out of me).

It is in memory of this that I present 25 of the most annoying nicknames in sports. Perhaps they aren't clever, lack accuracy or are simply dumb. One way or another, they get on my nerves.

To the slides!

"Pretty Boy" Floyd Mayweather

Mayweather has two nicknames, a good one and a bad one.

"Money" is a solid nickname, because he certainly makes a whole lot of it (and he is "money" in a slang sense, as he always wins—literally).

But "Pretty Boy?" For a boxer?

Nah, that's pretty lame. Stick with "Money," Floyd—it actually suits you.

Caron "Tough (or Tuff) Juice" Butler

When I found out that "Tough Juice" was an actual nickname for Caron Butler, one thought came to mind:

Wow, that nickname is weak sauce.

Chris "CB4" Bosh

Listen, at least most names that are shortened to initials don't include a random number. Even Chris "CP3" Paul's nickname relates to his family.

But a nickname that combines your initials and jersey number?

Lame. Scratch that—uber lame.

Total lack of effort by everybody involved. I expect more from you, Canada.

Daniel "Boobie" Gibson

Little-known fact I'm actually making up right now:

Gibson started calling LeBron James "The Titty Twister" after he left Cleveland.

Denard "Shoelace" Robinson

Dude, tie your shoes while you play.

Yes, that's right—he got this nickname because he doesn't tie his shoes while he plays.

Forthcoming nickname: Denard "Twisted Ankle" Robinson.

Kenny "Ken-Flo" Florian

You aren't even trying, man.

Ken-Flo?

Really?

What about Kenny "The Historian" Florian, because his opponents are history when they face him.

In that same spirit, you could always go Kenny "The Delorean" Florian.

Okay, so these might be a little corny, but they are still better than "Ken-Flo."

Yovani "El Chupacabra" Gallardo

That translates to "the goat sucker," by the way.

I mean, what the hell?

(Yeah, I'm sure I'm losing something in translation. Well, guess what—the fact that I'm losing something in translation also annoys me. So there.)

Usman "Uzzy" Ahmed

I don't know if this is supposed to sound like "Uzi," but if it is, it is one tragically misguided moniker.

(I'm pretty sure this is just a play off his first name. Also, I just wanted to show this video. So take this slide with a grain of salt.)

Frank "Twinkle Toes" Trigg

Listen, there was one—and only one—"Twinkle Toes" in history, and that was Fred Flintstone.

Besides, "Twinkle Toes" is the least manly nickname for a fighter imaginable.

Kobe "The Black Mamba" Bryant

Listen, it sounds like it should be the title of a pornographic movie.

Need I say more?

Gilbert "Agent Zero" or "Hibachi" Arenas

I used to enjoy the antics of Arenas, as I thought he brought a bit of levity to the NBA.

So it pains me to say that I always thought these nicknames were irrevocably corny.

You could have done better, Gilbert.

Joey "Peezy" Porter

What the hell does "Peezy" mean? Is this an old family nickname or something?

Hideki "Godzilla" Matsui

Am I the only one who thinks this nickname is just a touch racist?

Seriously, AM I THE ONLY ONE?

Shaun "The Flying Tomato" White

Traditionally, flying tomatoes represent failure, as in an audience throwing tomatoes during a stage performance it didn't approve of.

But most of Shaun White's performances are approved of—the guy is incredible.

Yes, I get the red hair/tomato connection.

I also get that it is a stupid connection.

Adrian "The Cashier" Peterson

Dear Merril Hoge,

First of all, I just want you to know that I like the work you do. I think you are an intelligent and insightful personality for ESPN's NFL coverage. Keep up the good work.

That being said, I think it is time you gave up calling Adrian Peterson "The Cashier." Yes, we all know that he makes defenders pay, but let's be honest—it's a corny nickname.

Besides, "AD" or "All Day" already works as a nickname. So let it rest, Merril.

That guy you've never heard of who writes for Bleacher Report,

Tim

Javier "Chicharito" Hernandez

"Chicharito" translates to "the little pea," which just annoys me.

Listen, I get that his father's nickname was "Chicharo," so "Chicharito" is a play off his father's nickname. But a talent the likes of this Mexican and Manchester United footballer shouldn't have a nickname that translates to "the little pea."

LaDainian "LT" Tomlinson

Repeat nicknames generally annoy me, especially when the repeat not only rips off one of the greatest defensive players ever (Lawrence Taylor) but also prevents Tomlinson from earning the unique nickname he deserves.

He should get something related to the visor he wears. If he played for Oakland, Darth Raider would be perfect, but he doesn't, so we can't go there (maybe I'll just start calling Darren McFadden "Darth Raider").

Other visor-related nicknames I've considered: RoboCop, Master Chief, Boba Fett, The Astronaut and Geordi.

LeBron "King" James

Listen, this nickname is certainly clever. I'm not even going to hate on LeBron on this slide, tempting as that may be.

No, I've just always been annoyed by this nickname because he was given it too soon. Like, as soon as he was drafted. I guess I've never gotten over that fact.

He may live up to the nickname someday, but he shouldn't have been referred to as "King James" before he even stepped on an NBA court. It just ain't right.

Chad Ochocinco

I don't care if this is his legal name; it was dumb as a nickname, and it is dumb as a name.

And it's ochenta y cinco, for heaven's sake!

If you can't tell, this one has been annoying me for quite some time.

David "Golden Balls" Beckham

A nickname that is cool and less arrogant: David "The Midas Touch" Beckham, because his every touch turns to gold.

Well, maybe it used to, at least. Not so much these days. You know, I think I'll hereby refer to Lionel Messi as "Midas Touch." Lionel "Midas Touch" Messi—has a nice ring to it, right?

But the whole "Golden Balls" nickname just seems arrogant when you consider that most people immediately envision the sexual reference aspect of this double entendre.

Be sure to hit me up on Twitter (@TRappaRT) along with the entire B/R Swagger team (@BR_Swagger).