LeBron James, Gisele Bundchen, Miguel Cabrera and Today's B/R Swagger Buzz
Miguel Cabrera, Gisele Bundchen, LeBron James and Thursday's B/R Swagger Buzz are here for all you fans that take their sports with a dash of spice. This a great month for sports, but we cannot dismiss all the great subplots that are taking place.
There is the NFL offseason, MLB spring training and the NBA season, and each of them has some juicy stories tied to the sport.
Miguel Cabrera is back in the news. We may get used to that fact for quite some time. More details are being released in connection with his arrest last month. Let's just say he doesn't look any better.
LeBron James is being sued. So is Michael Jordan. They are being sued by a company with the name LeBron Jordan. If you think this is all made up, it is not—though it is just as ridiculous as it sounds.
We will also have a recap of the gorgeous Gisele Bundchen and her spastic husband Tom Brady at Carnival.
This is just the tip of the ol' iceberg, folks. There is so much good stuff in here that it should be illegal. At the very least, it should be considered as fun as a night of drinking with a certain Detroit Tigers slugger. Yes, that much fun.
LeBron James: The King and Michael Jordan Get Sued by LeBron Jordan
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LeBron James And His Airness Are Being Served by Company That Calls Themselves LeBron Jordan
LeBron James is not having a good time right now. His Heat are getting beat by top teams, they are in the middle of a losing streak and now Chris Bosh wants more touches. Well, this is not the end to the brewing storm that is his life.
TMZ is reporting that LeBron James and basketball legend Michael Jordan are being sued by a company called LeBron Jordan, Inc. The suit maintains that both athletes have greatly damaged their business model by sullying their respective names.
LJI is suing both men $150 million each. LJI claims they have damages in upwards of $900 million. The shoe company was threatened with suit prior by Nike and LiveNation. The hope was that LJI would slink away into a crawl space somewhere.
They have instead decided to fight fire with fire. They claim that the name of the company stems from the names of the CEO's grandsons. They also maintain that neither name had been trademarked.
Either way it is a ridiculous suit that should be swept away shortly. You can't sue a famous person for living their lives, even if your company shares the same name. I won't even go into whether the company felt that their basketball shoe company would gain traction with the name initially.
This will go away shortly. At least I hope it does, stranger things have happened.
Gisele Bundchen: She Looks Great in New H&M Campaign Now About That Tom Brady
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Gisele Bundchen Looks Stunning in Yet Another Spread, I Still Have Tom Brady on the Mind Though
I was treated to a great paradox recently. I had a full fledged view of Tom Brady, the Super Bowl winning quarterback of the Patriots in dork mode. The mood strikes us all. I can hardly be called cool when I pour over countless stats every year in the latest edition of Baseball Prospectus.
Some guys should be immune however. Tom Brady it seems, is not one of them. A great many of you have already seen the video of Brady living it up in Rio at Carnival. If not, I highly recommend taking a gander here.
Brady was rocking a very uncool pony tail, and dancing like he just found use of his legs. No worries here though, his wife will hold down "looking good" duties for the time being.
She has a brand new spread for H&M that has been released. You can view all the sultry photos here. I have to say, with a wife as stunning as that, who cares what you look like.
Brady could be caught playing a 48-hour session of World of Warcraft, and I would still want this man's life. It must be nice being Tom Brady. He was caught in a video that would has been fuel for all fans that don't call the Patriots their teams. Yet, somehow it made him more endearing.
How the hell did that happen?
Miguel Cabrera: Arrest Video Shows a Very Disturbed Man
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Miguel Cabrera Has Some Anger Issues to Go Along With Laundry List of Problems
Money and alcohol do not solve problems. More often than not, they exacerbate them. Detroit Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera was arrested for driving under the influence last month.
On Wednesday, police officials released a 42-page document as well as video of the arrest. The video, which is sure to go viral soon, can be found here.
The biggest revelation is that Cabrera had an encounter that night with a local steakhouse. Police were originally called to Cowboys Bar-B-Q & Steak Co. when Cabrera lambasted the staff with threats.
Cabrera walked into the restaurant at around 10:15pm. When the staff told him that they were closing, Miggy lost his mind. He was quoted as saying, “I know all of you, and I will kill all of you and blow this place up.”
I can begin to see where Miggy may be going here. The area may be devoid of a Jack in the Box or late-night McDonald's. There is nothing more frustrating than thinking you have found some late night eats only to realize it is a mirage.
The manager finally got this crazy man who I am sure smelled like Charlie Sheen to leave. Before he left, Cabrera gave one last word to the restaurant staff.
He told them, "you don’t know me...I will kill you" He then patted his shoulder bag. The more details that get leaked from this story, the more that I believe Cabrera needs to hang it up for a while. It is far more important to get right in the mind and body.
Adding the pressure of the Major League Baseball is too much for someone with his issues. He needs help.
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Charlie Sheen: Ryan Mallett's Alleges Drug Issue Is a Joke to Him
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Charlie Sheen Joked About Ryan Mallet on The Dan Patrick Show Wednesday
Charlie Sheen is a mad, mad man. He is the year's biggest story with his predilection for all things hedonistic. He has been the subject and butt of many jokes recently. On Wednesday, he turned the tables and clowned someone other than himself.
Sheen was a guest on The Dan Patrick Show on Wednesday. He started the interview with a light-hearted jab at someone that may not view it that way.
Sheen told Patrick, “Hey, can you call Ryan Mallett back and tell him that he left his bong, he left his herb, his sensimilla, he left it all at my house...and I’m like, ‘I’m drug-free – come get this stuff, young man!’”
Sheen was making reference to NFL prospect and former Arkansas quarterback Ryan Mallett. The future NFL QB has come under fire in the past month over allegations that he has a drug issue. It is a problem that Mallett has tried his best to sweep under the rug.
With the Combine and Pro Days abounding, the issue continues to surface. It seems he is not even safe from the world of popular culture.
Sheen has at times embraced his new image as the biggest party boy who has left reality far behind. The fact is that he can afford to embrace such an image. Hollywood has a way of turning the shock of a wild life into a bankable commodity.
Mallett however, needs this issue to die. NFL scouts, coaches and owners would like to stay clear of a possible character issue with their incoming players.
Some have stated that Sheen should keep mum on Mallett. I don't see how that is possible. The issue is out there. For good or bad, Mallett is a public figure that will soon make millions. He will receive all that a sports figure receives, vilification and all.
Venus Williams: Tennis Star Rocks Kareoke Style on Cruise Ship
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Venus Williams Puts Down the Tennis Racket and Picks Up the Microphone
It used to be rare to see an athlete in their element. It used to be a remarkable to find footage of a sports star letting loose. Now in the days of camera phones, that is just not true anymore. Thank god.
Now videos of athletes acting like normal human beings are ubiquitous. The latest and greatest is a video of tennis star Venus Williams taking to the stage on board a cruise. The video provided by TMZ can be viewed here.
Williams and two of her friends were apparently chosen by random to perform a karaoke rendition of 311's You Wouldn't Believe. To add to the pressure, the lead singer was there to judge it all. Unfortunately I do not have the scorecard to tell you how they fared.
I can tell that the crowd was completely enamored with the spectacle. They not only sang their hearts out, they shook a tail feather as well.
We have all been forced to take to the stage when we thought better of it, usually a few drinks down. It is refreshing to see that it is not limited to non-athletes. Williams has no issue getting up on stage and potentially making a fool of herself.
That just makes me love her more. There you go Venus, I have no more love to give.
Miami Heat: Team Gets Growing Pains Treatment and It Is Hilarious
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Miami Heat Get Spliced Up In A Video With Growing Pains Theme Song
The Miami Heat are a spectacle. You know it. I know it. They have ceased being a basketball team, and have taken on the persona of a daytime soap opera. Well, one website has made this soap opera a little more prime-time television, albeit prime-time from the eighties.
TheScore.com has released a video of epic proportions. When you see it, you laugh. You laugh because it is so perfect. It is a mash-up combining images of the Miami Heat big three while the theme song to Growing Pains is played.
The Heat have been the butt of jokes since the big three's inception. It is their fault though. They introduced themselves like they were a rock group going on tour. They made themselves easy targets. But that is not why I like this video. I like it because it rings true to this team.
You just can't take this team seriously anymore. They certainly need a good talking to my Dr. Seaver. That is exactly what is missing here. Someone get Alan Thicke on the phone, the Heat need him.
At the very least we need a reality series on NBA TV. How has no one thought of this before? It's like peanut butter and jelly, or Milton Bradley and crazy. It is simply, perfect.
New York Mets: They Are Now a Joke in Their Own Home Town
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New York Mets Are the Butt Of Jokes in New York City Subway Ads
I almost feel bad for the Mets. Let me stress almost. A quick look at their lineup the past few years would have evoked a sense of confidence. Injuries and pitching has maligned a franchise. The Mets have never been a proud franchise.
Even when they were tearing it up in the eighties and nineties rumors of sex and drugs abounded. Before that, they were seen as lovable loser that made you feel proud you had yourself another team to follow. So I say they should embrace their recent funk, the rest of New York certainly has.
The New York Times reports that a company has begun making fun of the Mets in a new advertising scheme. The ads can be seen in subway terminals and trains all over the city. The company is Manhattan Mini Storage. Their ads state, “Why leave a city that has six professional sports teams, and the Mets?”
You can view its grandeur here.
Some think that the company may instead receive the ire of fans who closely follow the Mets. I still believe in the adage that any publicity is good publicity.
For the Mets, I say embrace the stigma. There is nothing like being the lovable loser, or even a spry under dog for that matter.
The team is still trying to maneuver the division with a tenuous roster, and a star shortstop in Jose Reyes that may or may not be healthy for the entirety of the year.
The owners have also come under fire as they settle an ongoing lawsuit. This is a dark period in Mets history. Don't swat it away. Just wear it. That's all you can really do at this point anyway.
Miami Heat: Recent Losses Have Resulted in a Hefty Tab for Florida Bar
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Miami Heat Fans Can Drink Their Sorrows Away at Florida Bar
The Heat are finally back to winning ways. Fans across Miami are ecstatic. For a while, it looked like the Heat would punt the rest of the season. The happiest man in the world right now is not LeBron James, Dwyane Wade or even Chris Bosh.
That man is John Todora, co-owner of Whiskey Tango in Hollywood, Florida. Back in October, his bar promised free drinks after every Miami Heat loss. That sounds ridiculous now. But hindsight has a way of making us sound smart every now and then.
The bar was out $30,000 by the end of November. CNBC remembered this bar and their less than ingenious idea. They went back to the bar after the recent Heat losing streak. The losses at Whiskey Tango reached $85,000.
The recent victory of the Lakers is nice, but the cease and desist letter from the Heat must have been a godsend. Please make a note business owners, never bank on a sure thing. It never is.
Any basketball fan would have relayed that teams go through slumps. Teams get hot. They get cold. It is all part of this beautiful world of sports.
Now if they ever make a deal to celebrate the Cleveland Cavaliers losses, I may have to book a flight to Hollywood, Florida.
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