Quick Snaps: Jokes About NFL Conference Championship Weekend

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So it's the Steelers and the Packers.  The Bears can begin their hibernation.  And the J-E-T-S!  Lost, Lost, Lost!

It was all Steelers early against the Jets.  The first half was more lopsided than Lance Armstrong’s boxer briefs.

At the half it was 24-3.  The Jets dug such a big hole, they got halftime speech from a Chilean miner.

This is the second straight year the Jets came within a game of the Super Bowl.  I'm starting to think "Sanchez" is Spanish for "horseshoes and hand grenades."

With This Headset Somebody Is Going To Listen To My Stupidness All The Time

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Rex Ryan said this one is tough to swallow.  And judging by his physique, this isn’t a problem he has often. 

Rex Ryan said that the NFL doesn't like him because he is black.  That doesn't make sense, but it was the only stupid thing that Rex Ryan hadn't said yet. 

Hulk Hogan said if the Jets keep trash talking, they’re going to go all the way.  Guess he was wrong about that.  By the way, he gives the same advice to guys dating his daughter. 

Well, His Clothes Match Nicely

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William Gay got a key touchdown for the Steelers.  That guy is tough.  I don’t know anything about him, but he survived middle school named William Gay.

In middle school, I’d pick "Economopoulos" over "Gay" every time.

He’s the only open Gay in the NFL.

Better Run, I'm Going To Eat You

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A lot of interceptions in Bears/Packers game.  These guys threw more picks than Eddie Van Halen in the 80’s.

The key play in the game was the B.J. Raji interception.  The guy is a huge 338 pounds.  During the game Aikman said the quarterback just didn’t see him.  What he was behind? A tree?

There are three things you can see from outer space:  The Great Barrier Reef, The Great Wall of China, and B.J. Raji. 

They call him the Freezer.  That’s a big freezer, you can put a dead bear in it.

Bear Force One?

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Good thing the Bears lost.  Barack said if his beloved Bears made it, he’d go to the Super Bowl.  Really?  Haven’t we learned anything about sending our presidents to Dallas?

I’d want him in a Kevlar Urlacher jersey.

Actually presidents going TO, or coming FROM Texas, they're both problematic.

I Said, "No Peppers!"

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If you watched the game you can see why the Packers are favored in the Super Bowl.  They just kept getting first downs.  They had more conversions than the Mormons.

It seemed like Aaron Rogers was always running to daylight.  And there was a LOT of daylight.  It was like summer in Fairbanks.  

Julius Peppers is a monster.  The Packers treated him the right way, like a subway sandwich, hold the Peppers. 

This one could have been a blow out.  The Packers just let the Bears hang around.  Like they do with day laborers in front of Home Depot.

Pretty Sure I Can Outrun a Clay Figure

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The Bears played well, but had some issues.  Jay Cutler missed a lot of receivers.  There were more overthrows than in Central America.

Brian Urlacher says he doesn't question Cutler's injury and says he is "one of the toughest guys on the team."  This coming from Urlacher, the guy tackled in the open field by a quarterback.

Caleb Hanie came in and looked pretty good, then eventually threw 2 picks.  It's like Cutler never left!

We Don't All Want To Be This Young

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Vince Young says he plans to start in 2011.  Plans to start what?  A dry cleaners?

There's some buzz about him going to the Vikings.  What better place for a guy who has imploded than the Metrodome?

 

Costaki Economopoulos and contributor Keith Alberstadt are writers and comics.  Follow them on Twitter.