No NASCAR Updates Today, I've Gone Fishin' For Mullet!

Use your ← → (arrow) keys to browse more stories
No NASCAR Updates Today, I've Gone Fishin' For Mullet!

That's right, I've taken a couple of days off from writing to celebrate "the mullet" and I'm not talking about the freshwater kind!

We're talking serious "10/90's", "mudflaps", "neck warmers" and one of my all time favorites the "beaver paddle."

How does this relate to sports you may ask?
It's a fact of life, if you have ever been to a race, you've seen your fair share of them. There are still brave souls out there with a lot of "mullet pride."
Hey, if you are secure enough with yourself to rock this hair-style and pull it off successfully, I say right on!
Today I had the great privilege of being in the company of perhaps the greatest mullet I've ever seen.  
Blurry-eyed and exhausted after three consecutive 12 hour night shifts in the ER, I stopped at the nearest 7-11 this morning for a much needed cup of coffee to get me home.
I had just pulled the key out of the ignition and was stifling a yawn when I saw it out of the corner of my eye.
It was one of those slow motion moments. "Oh Yeah" by Yello starts running through your head because right here, right now you are in the presence of total, balls out glory.
"Chick-a Chick-a"
Mouth agape, my eyes followed the Miller Lite delivery man pushing his dolly packed high with 12 packs from his truck through the entrance of the store.
He was sporting the "forbidden do" (generally known as a DON'T) with such grandeur. In the early 90's this man's hair would have trumped even the most popular mullets worn by the likes of Michael Bolton and Billy Ray.
It was a thing of beauty, not a single strand out of place. So wrong that it was right. The front, parted down the middle with feathered wings adoring the sides of his head. The back long and lush. It was the color of golden honey glistening in the sun.
I walked through the double doors just as he was walking out. I turned around for one last glimpse, I could feel the confidence that oozed through his pores. He was a man who knew how to balance his life in the exact manner that he balanced out his perfectly coiffed cut.
Business in the front, party in the back!
I bet that guy has partied with Kurt Busch and is a honored guest in Rusty Wallace's home. He probably has box seats at every race and can easily drink two cases of beer in one sitting without achieving even the slightest buzz. He drives a replica of the Trans-Am T-Top, from "Smokey and the Bandit" and has a supermodel girlfriend.
He's won his fair share of tobacco spitting contests and is skilled amateur plumber. When you call him because you got a leak in your sink, he says 'Go ahead!"
Although some might discriminate and stereotype him as the quintessential NASCAR lovin' redneck. I know for a fact that this is a man who isn't intimidated by the naysayers. He has risen above all that, he is an emperor, a king.
He is out there representing every day for the good of the people. He is strong and proud. He knows that despite others who have come before him, his famous last words will not be "Hey y'all, watch this!"
Load More Stories

Follow B/R on Facebook

NASCAR

Subscribe Now

We will never share your email address

Thanks for signing up.