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My "Top 15 Funniest Quotes" series continues. First, I took on golf, in the second article of the series I take on soccer. Soccer, or football as the rest of the world calls it, can be full of hilarious moments...

Top 15 Funniest Quotes from Soccer Players, Managers, and Commentators

by Thomas [HUMOR]

59

4698 reads

Humor

September 05, 2008


My "Top 15 Funniest Quotes" series continues.  First, I took on golf, in the second article of the series I take on soccer. 

Soccer, or football as the rest of the world calls it, can be full of hilarious moments.  It can also be full of hilarious or stupid comments from players, managers, and commentators alike.  Here's the top fifteen quotes that show how funny or stupid some comments are.

Player Quotes

1. "I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country." - Ian Rush

2. "Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today." - Steve Lomas

3. "The Brazilians were South America, and the Ukranians will be more European." - Phil Neville

4. "I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league." - Mark Viduka

5. "I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well." - Alan Shearer

 

Managers

1. "I was a young lad when I was growing up." - David O'Leary

2. "We must have had 99% of the game. It was the other three per cent that cost us the match." - Ruud Gullit

3. "If they hadn't scored, we would've won." - Howard Wilkinson

4. "I have a number of alternatives, and each one gives me something different." - Glenn Hoddle

5. "It was a game we should have won. We lost it because we thought we were going to win it. But then again, I thought that there was no way we were going to get a result there." - Jack Charlton

 

Commentators

1. "The ageless Dennis Wise, now in his thirties." - Martin Tyler

2. "Martin O'Neill, standing, hands on hips, stroking his chin." - Mike Ingham

3. "West Germany's Briegel hasn't been able to get past anyone yet - that's his trademark." - John Helm

4. "Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hoops, looking like a team of zebras." - Peter Jones

5. "Celtic manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve." - John Greig

 

Here is the first article in this series for those who are interested.

The Funny Side Of Golf: Top 15 Golf Quotes

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59 comments Last one added 9 months ago — Leave a Comment

  1. Andrew McNair 10 months ago

    haha that's 15 quotes Mr Leemon :P

    Enjoyed it.

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  2. Tim Oates 10 months ago

    Nice one. Good laugh!

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  3. Yoosof Farah 10 months ago

    Good article Thomas, and a good laugh.

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  4. Thomas 10 months ago

    does anyone happen to know who that guy in the picture is?

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  5. Daniel Kaiser 10 months ago

    "Football is like chess, but without the dice" by Lukas Podolski

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  6. Salaar Arshad Shamsi 10 months ago

    Good stuff, thomas..had a hearty laugh.

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  7. Salomon Gonzales 10 months ago

    "Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today." -

    That one made me fall off my bed lol ...

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    • Thomas 10 months ago

      lol, that's gotta be one of the stupidest statements in this article.

      my favorite is vaduka's ""I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league." lol.

      Thanks for the comment, Salomon. Glad I get u out of bed, haha.

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    • Anon Payn 10 months ago

      yeah dude, on goal difference!!!
      (you can add that to your article as well i suppose!)

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  8. Stefan Vasilev 10 months ago

    Hilarious :)

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  9. Zahi Sahli 10 months ago

    great article.. enjoyed it, very funny

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  10. Keith Griffin 10 months ago

    Haha Thomas that was brill. I wrote something similar one time about a an Irish soccer pundit, check it out.

    http://bleacherreport.com/articles/29417-soccer-punditry-at-its-best-eamonn-dunphy

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  11. Chris Dowding 10 months ago

    My personal favourite is from a football commentator, who's name escapes me, describing some treatment recieved by David Ginola after he picked up a blow to the face:

    "And they're putting vaseline in his eye, just like they do in the ring".

    Quality.

    Good article mate, made me chuckle.

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  12. Shyam Parthasarathi 10 months ago

    Great stuff.. surprised you didnt get King Kev in there.. still a great set of quotes.

    Wonderful work, Thomas.

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  13. Alan McGuinness 10 months ago

    Very funny article Thomas. David Pleat (ITV Commentator) is also worth a mention, some of the stuff he comes out with is gold.

    "There's a little bit of a South American touch, if that's not Irish, about this European side, Portugal"

    "I was inbred into the game by my father"

    "There's Thierry Henry, exploding like the French train that he is"

    "A game is not won until it is lost"

    "Winning isn't the end of the world"

    "This is a real cat and carrot situation"

    "I've seen some players with very big feet, and some with very small feet"

    "And the steam has gone completely out of the Spanish sails"

    "He's got a brain under his hair"

    "Pires has got something about him, he can go both ways depending on who's facing him"

    "That would have put the icing on his start"

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    • Thomas 10 months ago

      lol, i dont get ITV so I don't hear him. Ur right, some of his could be in my list. Dang ESPN & FOX.

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    • Thomas 10 months ago

      I forgot one other one.

      'I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.' - David Beckham

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  14. Ricky O'Neal 10 months ago

    great read, good laugh!

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  15. Lisa Horne 10 months ago

    Hilarious...#4 about losing all the games but winning the league...OMG. POTD! Great stuff, and I am not a soccer fan!

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  1. Jeff Harbert 10 months ago

    Haha I got a good laugh out of this. Good job Thomas!

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  2. Marc Kaveh 10 months ago

    Terry Venables must get No.1

    "I am a firm believer that if history repeats itself, the same thing will happen again"

    Hahaha

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  3. gem asdani 10 months ago

    hahaha classic

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  4. Eric Gomez 10 months ago

    You need some Bill Shankly quotes in there.

    “Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.”
    “Me having no education. I had to use my brains.”
    “What a great day for football, all we need is some green grass and a ball.”
    “If you're not sure what to do with the ball, just pop it in the net and we'll discuss your options afterwards.”

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  5. Bela Trimmel 10 months ago

    Wonderful. I like George Best's quote.

    "I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered."

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  6. Andrew Kearney 10 months ago

    A John Motson classic:

    'For those watching in black and white, Spurs are the side in yellow.'

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  7. Khalid Shakran 10 months ago

    Haha..hella funny. Thanks for the article.

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  8. Alan Bass 10 months ago

    Haha very nice!

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  9. Salomon Gonzales 10 months ago

    I forgot who said this but this line was damn funny ...

    " If there was no such thing as football, we'd all be frustrated footballers" ...

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  10. Gerard Elliott 10 months ago

    It seems everton had some REAL tards. By the way I laughed at the picture for at least 20 minutes

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  11. Gerard Elliott 10 months ago

    It seems everton had some REAL tards. By the way I laughed at the picture for at least 20 minutes

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  12. Ismail Ayub 10 months ago

    Where's the Keegan quote... the one where he goes 'that would have been a goal, if the keeper didn't save it' hahaha

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    • Thomas 10 months ago

      haha

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    • Max Iascone 9 months ago

      That's a funny one, and it reminds me of the John Madden (American football just in case somebody doesn't know) quote "the team that scores more points usually wins the game." or my personal favorite, "when you put the ball in the endzone it's a touchdown". I suppose thats another article though, you could probably do a top 15 of american football quotes with only John Madden

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  13. chico rebello 10 months ago

    ha ha ha

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  14. Dorothy Willis 9 months ago

    Very, very funny! Loved it!

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