The Funny Side Of Golf: Top 15 Golf Quotes
Golf—probably the worst fun game ever invented. Pictured above is possibly the worst golfer ever, Charles Barkley. I myself am not a great golfer, but I do enjoy playing occasionally. Here are my top 15 quotes that describe golf.
15. "The difference between golf and tennis is that in tennis you want to kill the other player; in golf you just want to kill yourself." - Anonymous
14. "A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom." - Henry Beard, humorist and author
13. "Thou shalt not use profanity; thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's putter; thou shalt not steal thy neighbor's ball; thou shalt not bear false witness in the final tally." - ground rules at a clergymen's tournament
12. "I'm the best; I just haven't played yet." - Muhammad Ali, former boxer
11. "If you watch a game, it's fun; if you play it, it's recreational; if you work at it, it's golf." - Bob Hope, comedian
10. "Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose." - Winston Churchill, former prime minister of Britain
9. "Golf is a good walk spoiled." - Mark Twain, author
8. "We learn so many things from golf—how to suffer, for instance." - Bruce Lansky, author
7. "If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up." - Tommy Bolt, member of the World Golf Hall of Fame
6. "I have a tip that can take five shots off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser." - Arnold Palmer, legendary golfer
5. "Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the golf course." - Billy Graham, evangelist
4. "It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course." - Hank Aaron, former baseball player
3. "I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators." - Gerald Ford, former President of the United States
2. "The reason a pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing." - Phyllis Diller, comedienne
1. "Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six, and write down five." - Paul Harvey, comedian
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