Who Would Win in a Fight? The Top 10 Weakest Professional Sports Team Names

Do you ever find yourself wondering at the end of another Carolina Panthers blowout loss to the Atlanta Falcons, if a Falcon and a Panther really were to fight, who would win?  I do.  

Mascot battles fascinate me.  

Although the Patriots blew out the Jets on Monday Night Football this week, if some Patriots and Jets actually squared off in a battle royal to the death, I don't think things would have went as well for the Pats as they did.  But, some teams aren't blessed enough to have a strong, battle tested team name.  

Pulling from the NFL, NBA, NHL and MLB, here are the top 10 weakest team names.

10. Anaheim Ducks

Five years ago, Anaheim never would have made this list.  Why?  Because they weren't just the Ducks, they were the Mighty Ducks.  

The Mighty Ducks were a force to be reckoned with, but the Ducks?  They're just sitting ducks.  I don't know why Anaheim decided to drop the mighty from its name, but I guess it worked, as the Ducks won the 2007 Stanley Cup.

9. Pittsburgh Penguins

The penguin is a peaceful animal.  Sure, there is strength in numbers, but when it comes right down to it, a pack of penguins won't shake fear into many foes.  

Penguins are slow and have to waddle around.  They would be more effective in a water battle, but on land they are pretty much toast.

8. New Orleans Saints

Ironically, the first three teams on this list have all won a championship within the last four years, with the Saints' coming just nine months ago.  

In a fight however, the Saints don't look too strong.  I'm not convinced that the Saints would even put up a fight.  I'm sure at first they would try to resolve things peacefully.  Maybe when push came to shove, they would fight, but even then, how effective would a bunch of dead guys be?

7. Utah Jazz

I'm not sure how this fight would even work.  How do you fight music?  I don't see how Jazz could actually win in a fight, but it does has some serious staying power.  

Jazz is almost 100 years old.  If it couldn't defeat its opponent, maybe Jazz could simply try and outlast it.

6. St. Louis Blues

Another genre of music.  The team was actually named after a specific song (St. Louis Blues by W.C. Handy), but just so that they aren't too weak, we will consider the Blues to represent the entire Blues genre.  

The Jazz gets the slight edge over the Blues because it has more power and authority.  The Blues wouldn't have to rely on being able to lull their opponent into relaxation or depression in order to win a fight.

5. New Jersey Nets

Does anybody else find it ironic that the Nets' logo has a rim but no net?  Anyway, the Nets would have a tough time in most fights because basketball nets have two openings instead of just one.  

While they would be able to trap some opponents for a short time, it would not be long enough to starve them to death to win the battle.

4. Denver Nuggets

What can a Nugget do in a fight?  Throw itself at someone? Even then, it wouldn't do much.  

The only real shot the Nuggets have at survival is if their enemy gets greedy and decides to take the Nuggets for himself.  Even then, the Nuggets would be subjected to whatever the 49ers wanted to do with them.

3. Boston Red Sox

Sox.  Fighting.  Getting.  Destroyed.  By.  Anything.  

Really, what are Sox going to do?  Smell bad?  Even then they would only hold off an attack until their opponent got used to the smell and came in to rip them to shreds.

2. Chicago White Sox

The reason the Red Sox gets the edge over the White Sox is because of their only difference; color. Red is more intimidating than white and might be able to hold off an attack for longer.  

Either way, Sox are going to get completely owned in almost any fight.  However, the White Sox might actually fair well in a battle if it took place on a snowy terrain, based on their ability to withstand the cold and blend in effectively.

1. Toronto Maple Leafs

Here they are, professional sports' weakest team.  All a leaf can do is change colors with the seasons. How that could come in handy in a fight, I don't know, which is why the Maple Leafs don't stand a chance against anyone.  

Another thing, isn't the plural of leaf supposed to be leaves?  How are the Leafs supposed to win in an all out fight to the death if they can't even get their plural form spelled correctly?  Maybe there is a reason why the Leafs have the longest cup-drought in the NHL.

For more check out: Who Would Win in a Fight? The Top 10 Beastliest Professional Sports Team Names