Who Would Win in a Fight? The 10 Beastliest Professional Sports Team Names
Sports isn't all about the physical. It never has been. There has always been "the game within the game." Some athletes thrive on it. Others suffer by it.
Players who can master the psychological and intimidation aspect of their sport can far out perform any player who isn't even aware of what's going on in their own subconscious. So what's more intimidating? Stepping on the hardwood to play a squad known as the Grizzlies, or skating out to face a team that calls themselves the Maple Leafs?
While no one will admit it, the name of the team you're on plays a big part in how you battle during a game, and how hard you fight out on the playing field.
So what are the beastliest professional sports team names? Which ones of them would win in a fight if the things the teams were named after actually did battle?
Pulling from the NFL, NBA, NHL and MLB, here are the top 10 beastliest team names.
- Detroit Tigers
- Texas Rangers
- San Francisco Giants
- Houston Astros
- Memphis Grizzlies
- Washington Wizards
- Minnesota Timberwolves
- Golden State Warriors
- Cincinnati Bengals
- New York Giants
- Detroit Lions
- Chicago Bears
- Minnesota Wild
- San Jose Sharks
- Nashville Predators
- New Jersey Devils
10. Miami Heat
You can't beat the Heat. Actually you can, LeBron and company have proved that more than anyone thought they would this season, but if you were actually fighting literal heat, it might be a little more difficult to win.
There's really not a whole lot you can do except wait, and hope that a cold front comes in before the heat gets to you.
9. Colorado Avalanche
Avalanches are serious business. The snow and ice know no fear. They don't think about stopping or get concerned that this fight will hurt them as the rush down a mountainside in the form of an avalanche.
The best way to beat an avalanche is to just not go anywhere near a mountain. But sometimes one has no choice but to go near a mountain, and in that case, the avalanche is going to win.
8. Carolina Hurricanes
Keeping on the theme of natural disasters, hurricanes are certainly no picnic. Huge winds and waves aren't the worst part, it's also raining the whole time.
Like an avalanche, the best way to keep away form a hurricane is just to stay away, in this case, from the coast. A hurricane beats out an avalanche for the simple fact that hurricanes last a lot longer than avalanches do.
7. Toronto Raptors
One raptor is tough enough to beat, but if the fight is five-on-five like it is in the NBA, then raptors are almost unstoppable.
Anyone who's watched Jurassic Park knows that it's a dumb idea to mess with a pack of raptors. Raptors were one of the smartest species of dinosaurs, and could work together as a team better than the Raptors of Toronto ever could.
Still, Raptors did get beaten by something, and are the only members of this list that are extinct.
6. Houston Rockets
Rockets. Rockets explode. Pretty much the only way to stop a rocket is to stop it from launching. If you can do that, you're in good shape. If not, there's not a whole lot you can do.
Ever tried punching a rocket? Bad idea.
5. Orlando Magic
How do you even fight magic? It seems like this would be more confusing than painful. You can't see what you're fighting, but strange stuff keeps happening.
Here's an eerie fact: the Magic got their name because of something a seven-year-old girl said outside an airport. Is that destiny or what? Don't mess with magic.
4. Tennessee Titans
In Greek mythology, the titans were massively giant, huge gods. They ruled the world until Zeus and his band of punks took over. Still, the titans were straight-up beastly. If the Iliad and the Odyssey taught us anything, it's that the gods get their way.
Picking a fight with the Gods isn't something you can prepare for. In order to win, you're probably got to get lucky.
3. Colorado Rockies
I don't think anyone is the history of the earth has ever tried to fight a mountain range. If someone did, I'd be willing to bet season tickets that they lost.
What weapon do you use to fight a mountain? Erosion? A glacier? Acid rain? Any one of those strategies might work, but it would probably take millions of years to take out even one mountain. And then after you beat one mountain, you still have the rest of the range to deal with.
2. Phoenix Suns
Ever tried to fight the sun? You'll need a spaceship, but even before you get off the ground the sun is hitting you with harmful UV rays. Then you'll need a ton of gear and technology that hasn't been invented yet, and probably never will be, just to get close to it, and then you need to beat it somehow.
The worst part about fighting the sun is that you wouldn't even be able to see it. If you got close enough to the sun, it would blind you. And then there's the heat. The outer temperature of the sun in 11,000° F. Once you travel about 850,000 miles to the center of the sun, the temperature gets to about 27,000,000° F. Hot stuff. The sun is a beast.
1. Dallas Stars
The only thing beastlier than the sun is all the other stars in the universe put together. That's what you come up against when you fight the stars.
At some point in everyone's life, we have all been told to reach for the stars. If we actually did, we might lose our arms. Maybe you were told to shoot for the stars. If we did, they might shoot back. Stars mean business. They are huge, hot, and there are billions of them. That's why the Dallas Stars have the beastliest team name in professional sports.
For more check out: Who Would Win in a Fight? The Top 10 Weakest Professional Sports Team Names