The Cliff Notes Guide to Winning NASCAR for Danica Patrick

.  This weekend brought us a feud between Denny Hamlin and Kevin Harvick, Kyle Busch breaking another record and the resurgence of “Danicamania.”  All I can say is “Have at it, boys!”  This will only lead to a better race for us viewers on Sunday.  Congrats to Kyle.  Now, bring on the DanicaMania!

This weekend’s race marked Danica Patrick’s seventh race of her contracted 13 races.  While her rookie season starts to wind down, her NASCAR driving skills have yet to improve.

Dover Speedway was tough on Danica.  She was shown off the lead lap during lap 17 of 200. Her radio communication stated she may have a vibration, was too loose and pushing too much.  She eventually blew a tire on lap 68 causing her to slam into the wall.  Trying to earn Owner points for her team, Danica went back out on the race track to finish a dismal 94 laps down in 35th place. 

At a post race interview, Danica commented, “I’m really disappointed.  I don’t know what I need out of the car to be good in the race.  We freed it up.  I felt a little loose.  I was pushing by the end. 

“Lessons learned.  They are not fun lessons and everybody is watching so, it makes them even harder!  We will get this GoDaddy car to the front before the end of the year [sic].”

Do not Worry, Danica.  There is hope.  As a NASCAR fan and Team Danica supporter, I have taken it upon myself to be your Couch Crew Chief.  I know a good race car when I see one.  Let’s navigate you through the crazy NASCAR lingo so you can earn yourself a mark in the win column!

Chatter: Front tire vibration with speed.  (OR)  Your radio communications.  Listen for both!

Groove: The best/quickest route around a racetrack. You need to find it!

Loose:  condition created when the back end of the vehicle wants to overtake the front end when it is either entering or exiting a turn.  You need be a little loose, not tear down the walls!

Push:  condition that occurs when the front tires of a vehicle will not turn crisply in a corner.  You need to get off the throttle until the tires grip.  Don’t worry; coming off the throttle for a couple seconds is not going to change the fact that you are a few laps down.

Victory Lane:  Sometimes called “Winner Circle.” We have got to get you there!

Secrets to Success  (ripped right out of the “How to Win a Championship” manual borrowed from Chad Knaus)

When you hear D.W. yell “Boogity, Boogity, Boogity; LET’S GO RACING, BOYS!”  Put the peddle to the metal.  Hopefully, you will be doing this from the Pole.   Go ahead, find your Groove and Stick to it.  Draft if you can.  Don’t worry about being a lady, bump them back!  Remember, handling and set-up are everything.  

Tony, your crew chief, will dial-you-in if asked nicely.  However, it is up to you to notify him when you have problems with pushing, pulling, and balance.  He will remain calm and educate you on what to do next with his reassuring way. 

By the way..Stop holding up the race leader while you are lapped traffic; nobody likes the back marker!  Lastly, if you are going to beat Kyle Busch to the finish line and end up in victory lane, you have to stay the heck out of the fence and be on the lead lap!