Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
Chicago @ Dallas (-9)
If Dallas' 13-7 loss in Washington proved anything, it's that boneheaded decisions by Cowboys are not limited to off-the-field endeavors. Two glaring errors (a fumble that gave the 'Skins a touchdown to end the first half and a holding penalty that canceled out the Cowboys' game-winning score) were the catalysts in the heartbreaking loss.
"The Cowboys were also victimized by 11 other penalties," Cutler said. "But that's just the beginning of their issues. They have multiple problems. They may be 'America's Team,' but 'America's Teem-ing' with troubles."
Despite a multitude of mistakes, you have to credit the Cowboys with one thing. Although it ended badly, that fateful play at the end of the first half was the NFL's first Hail Mary shovel pass (research courtesy of the Hail Mary Hall of Fame in Vatican City).
The Bears can certainly match the Cowboys for boneheaded plays. Despite out-gaining the Lions 463 to 168, Chicago turned the ball over four times and gave up four sacks. In addition, Lovie Smith opted to go on 4th-and-1 from Detroit's one-yard line, although they trailed 14-13.
"The marquee outside Cowboys Stadium," Jerry Jones quipped, "says 'Dumb And Dumber.' But I won't tolerate the kinds of mistakes that killed us in the Redskins loss. If necessary, we'll make changes. If someone can do a job better, they'll get the start. In fact, I've already authorized one change: offensive lineman Alex Barron has taken over for Matt McBriar as holder."
Dallas wins, 30-24.