Trimming The Fat: The Dead Weight That TNA Needs To Let Go
Hello everyone, my name is Andre Harrison and this is another Harrison's Analysis!
Let's face it, anyone who knows TNA pretty well and have an objective opinion like mine, would tell you that there is certain guys out there that TNA just shouldn't have within their roster anymore, for a number of reasons.
Holding back other talent, easy pay-days, management favouring the more experienced names, you get the idea.
So here's Harrison's look at the Wrestlers, that, in my eyes, TNA has and should let go to free up space, and save a few bucks. So, let's have a look, here, with Harrison's Analysis.
Lacey Von Erich
In the words of Ron Simmons...Daymn!
I'm not going to lie readers, I like Lacey. I've listened to interviews with her, she seems like a lovely, lovely girl, but damn, she just can NOT wrestle.
Anyone who's seen her within 10 feet of a ring should tell you that she just cannot do it. Wrestling just isn't her bag.
Also, she hit the news headlines when the custody of her child came into play. Maybe she should just leave the business and be more of a family girl, easing the workload.
She's 'injured' on TNA right now, so maybe now's the time for her to be doing that.
Lacey, lovely girl, but shouldn't be wrestling.
How many gimmicks has this guy had?
Oh dear. You know TNA have no confidence in Eric when they repackage him again and again, and he just can't get over.
He couldn't get over as the cowardly comeback babyface, he couldn't get over by himself, he couldn't get over when he was leader of World Elite, or when he has stabbed in the back by Kevin Nash.
Unfortunately, despite him being a solid worker, it's just sad that Eric will never be really accepted on Impact, and he's now in this goofy team-up with Orlando Jordan...Which I'll get to later.
You know you're screwed when you're tag-teaming with Orlando Jordan.
Okay, can someone tell me when was the last time that Shark Boy was actually ON an episode of Impact? And don't say Xplosion, because let's face it, who watches that?
He's the house show boy. Which is fine and all, but when Impact has an average audience of about 1 and a half million, and only 500 or so are at the average TNA House Show...Yeah, you get the idea.
Credit to him for his loyalty and he probably gets a nice paycheck once in a while, but what good is he to the company? Release him.
Best. Mohawk. Evah!
I'll give him credit, he's improved a lot for being Team 3D's slightly-retarded lackey in 2009, and he's doing a solid job being Shannon Moore's partner and all, but he's still about as green as my freshly cut lawn.
I think Jesse really should take a year in the independent scene again, polish his skills and come back as a better complete package.
I think it would do him good, as I think he's got some potential if he can get himself in the right spot.
...And that Mohawk is seriously awesome. Look at it!
Do I even need to make fun of this?
He's about as good at wrestling as he is at hiding those steroids he takes.
Rob Terry is here because he's just...there. He's not very good on the microphone, and he just...can't wrestle.
He botched a suplex on Desmond Wolfe...A Suplex, one of the most basic wrestling moves. Do I even NEED to suggest why TNA should fire him?
...And to think, he was TNA's Toy Belt Champion no less than two months ago...
Sting. A 2008 World Champion. Really?
Oh dear...Was I the only one cringing when TNA put Sting in the Main Event of Slammiversary, TNA's Second Biggest PPV of the Year. Let's run some numbers:
- Sting is 52...
- He went into the match ridiculously out of shape...
- ...With a shoulder injury, so he had to wear a T-Shirt when he wrestled...
Yet TNA still thought that they should put him the Main Event of a PPV. The amount of backstage pull that Sting has, to the point where it's actually hurting the company is chronic.
He's done a lot for TNA, so I have to give him credit, but he doesn't need to be there anymore, having whole storylines built around him. He has no business being in the spot he is at 52. Step aside, Sting.
Raven (Sort Of)
Woah...That's messed up.
Now here's a funny one. Raven, as a wrestler, no.
Not after that particularly bad Hardcore Justice PPV performance, Raven, as a in-ring talent has no place in that company anymore, he's a good five-plus years past his prime.
Raven has a LOT of knowledge when it comes to the business, he's developed one of the best gimmicks in Wrestling today.
A mind like his could be very valuable as say, an agent, or in creative...
...You can't get worse than Vince Russo, right? Wait...
Unfortunately for Dreamer...It's not 1998 anymore.
..Cue Tommy Dreamer, who was basically given full creative control of Hardcore Justice...Didn't that go well?
Everyone was saying Tommy Dreamer was doing the books from when he first showed up back at Slammiversary. He wasn't, but he did for Hardcore Justice.
Ever since then, he's gone on to prove that he should never have touched the books to begin with, and that his best years were 10, maybe 15 years ago.
He put in a very solid performance against AJ Styles, but it's not 1995 anymore, and he serves no real purpose within TNA. Others could easily do better in the slot that Tommy has.
(Which is a shame, because I like Tommy, he's a great guy. Damn.)
...And The Rest Of "EV 2.0"
...Which leads me to the rest of the EV 2.0 Faction. Their brutatlity is doing nothing for TNA's Image.
I'm strongly against their style of chair shots to the head and other hardcore style spots, mainly because the goalposts have moved since the 90's.
These guys add nothing to the company AT ALL. The FBI? Stevie Richards? These didn't draw a dime then, and they don't now.
Without Paul Heyman, who, smartly, is staying the hell away, these guys can't be utilized properly. So they have no purpose being there.
In a sport in which us fans get criticized enough for seeing half naked men grappling with one another, here lies Orlando Jordan, a wrestler with a bisexual gimmick.
Now, I'm not homophobic at all, but the way his gimmick is forced down our throats (Oh dear lord...), is REALLY off-putting.
And that's all there is to Orlando Jordan, because he was never known for his In-Ring work now, was he?
And if in doubt...Look at the picture. Do you want to see that on your wrestling show? Hand down in the back!
*insert I'm sexy quote here*
Yeah, yeah, I know, and I agree, she is very attractive. But 90% of the time, all SoCal Val does is sit on a chair at ringside.
There's nothing that she does in TNA that Christy Hemme or Jeremy Borash couldn't do themselves...
...Besides Jeremy posing in a bikini, of course.
Suicide. Now there's something you can market to kids.
Suicide was brought in to promote and hype the 2008 Video Game. That bombed, and because of that, we all knew that the Suicide gimmick had a limited shelf-life.
As for Kiyoshi, I don't think he's been on Impact since January. If they're not being used, get rid of the dead weight.
Hogan and Bischoff
Killing companies since 1998.
Ethan Miller/Getty Images
It's impossible to ignore the proverbial elephant in the room. The Hogan and Bischoff experiment has failed.
The ratings haven't increased, the product has gotten worse, and the company;s bound to have been hemorrhaging money by bringing in talent, that for the most part, served little to no purpose.
They need to go before they add even more damage to the company, because Eric's ego makes Cristiano Ronaldo look humble. He's so out of touch with people today that it's detrimental.
As for Hogan, bless him, he should have hung it up 20 years ago. His name doesn't mean as much as it used to be, and really, he has no need to wrestle anymore in the state that he's in.
Paul Kane/Getty Images
So those are the dozen and a half or so talents that I don't think should be working under TNA right now? Did I miss anyone?
Was I right? Was I harsh on some people? Let me know, drop me a comment, I'd love to hear what you all think.
Thanks very much for reading, I've been Andre Harrison, thank you very much for reading, and Sayonara!