Top 10 Most Unwearable Jerseys

Danny Paskas puts together a list of jerseys you never want to be seen wearing.

by danny paskas (Columnist)

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54315 reads

Humor

July 24, 2008

Humor, Aaron Rodgers, OJ Simpson, Jose Canseco, Bill Buckner, Multiple Sports

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Ahh, jerseys. Every sports fan has to have at least one of their favorite player’s jersey. Some girls get them just because they like the color. Others get them to be funny, or retro. Others just get them because they are on sale.

After getting a Vilma, Kidd, K-Mart, and Jefferson jersey, I gave up. All of them were traded and now I just feel like an idiot.

One has to realize that there are consequences when buying jerseys. Be it murder trials, scandals, boneheaded plays, or trades. Anyway, before someone purchases a jersey in some bargain bin, make sure none of the following names are on the back.

 

10. Any WNBA jersey (just wanted to get that out of the way first). Meaning a guy wearing a WNBA jersey.

 

9. Brett Favre/Manny Ramirez - I retire, no wait, I want to play, no wait, I retire, no...when will this story end? Favre has become such a problem in Green Bay that he was recently offered $25 million just to stay away.

I don't think a Red Sox Ramirez jersey is all that popular right now considering he was basically giving up on the team with his lack of hustle and antics. I guess Manny is going to be Manny in L.A., at least until one of the two parties involved grows tired of the other.

This spot was originally for a Randall Gay jersey, sorry if I offended anybody.

 

8. Bill Buckner - Even after the Sox broke the curse and have won two World Series in the last few years, has anybody really forgiven Buckner in Boston? I don’t think I would take the chance of sporting a Buckner jersey anywhere around the Boston area.

 

7. Leon Lett - Although he was a two-time Pro Bowler and part of the Dallas Cowboys' three Super Bowl victories in the ‘90s, he will probably be remembered for two real stupid/hilarious plays.

The first play coming in Super Bowl XXVII. Lett recovered a fumble on the 45-yard line and was running it back for a clear touchdown, at around the 10, Leon outstretched his arm with the ball. Not seeing a hustling Don Beebe, the ball was stripped and knocked out of the end zone, which resulted in a touchback. Granted, the play had no effect on the game at all, it must have been really embarrassing for Cowboy’s nation.

The second play came on a Thanksgiving Day game in ’93. With the Cowboys leading the Dolphins 14-13 in the closing seconds, Miami attempted a field goal. During the game, there was a rare snowstorm in Dallas which covered the field. Anyway, the Cowboys wound up blocking the kick.

While his teammates made a circle around the ball and started celebrating, Lett broke through to recover the ball. I don’t know if he even knows what he was thinking, but he slipped on the ice when trying to get it. The Dolphins recovered the ball on the one-yard line. Miami wound up winning the game.

Come to think of it, maybe I would wear his jersey; it would be a conversation starter.

 

6. Jose Canseco - Do I really have to explain why? Maybe I would wear his twin brother's, Ozzie, jersey, now he was something special.

 

5. Rae Carruth - He was a first-team All-American wide receiver out of Colorado who was the 27th overall pick by the Carolina Panthers in 1997. In his rookie year, Carruth led all rookie receivers in receptions and receiving touchdowns. He showed a lot of promise. It all came to an end in 1999, when he conspired to commit murder. The victim was Carruth’s girlfriend who was pregnant with his twins at the time. He’s still in jail.

Wearing his jersey would be, let’s say in bad taste? Carruth’s number? 89. I guess it wasn’t the number; Steve Smith seems to be alright with it, unless he conspired in the elimination of running back Stephen Davis. Is it just me, or did he disappear very quickly?

 

4. Gheorge Muresan - The tallest player ever to play in the NBA. His number was 77, which was in reference to his 7'7" frame. He was named Most Improved Player in the 1995-96 season when he put up solid numbers, averaging 14.5 points, 9.6 rebounds, and 2.6 blocks. He also gave a riveting performance co-starring with Billy Crystal in the movie My Giant where he played a big guy.

Did anybody ever sport a Muresan jersey? There had to have been, I think I remember them in the stands in his Washington Bullets days. As for me? I don’t like anybody over seven feet.

 

3. Michael Vick - I originally had Aaron Rodgers up here, which was way too high. Wearing a Vick jersey can actually cause fights, and quick. Vick redefined the quarterback position and brought dog fighting into the national spotlight. Steer clear from PETA, dog groomers, doggie parks, etc. Remember, in society today, people killing a dog is worse than killing a person. I'm sure he's still breaking ankles, only this time it's during flag football games in the prison yard.

 

2. Scott Norwood - "No Good! Wide right!" With Norwood’s 47-yard field goal miss, the Giants won Super Bowl XXV. Although he was the Bills all-time leading scorer, he will always be remembered for that kick. I might try to get a Ray Finkle jersey though. Finkle was the kicker based on Norwood in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, for those of you who didn’t get the reference. If only the laces were out, Norwood could be a Buffalo hero.

 

1. O.J. Simpson - Although the Juice is loose, his jersey isn’t. Pretty funny that his jersey has spent more time locked up than him. That is, until he finally catches the true killers. Then I can finally dust the magnificent shirt off, it just looks weird in my closet. I just can’t get rid of it; he is a former Heisman winner.     

 

That’s the list, I’m sure I left plenty off, such as Roger Clemens, Rafael Palmiero, Maurice Clarrett, etc. Who else deserves to be up here? Everyone, Sound off.

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comments (229) write a comment »

  1. Mike Vick/Ron Mexico, baby...this one, I would avoid.

    1. i cannot believe i forgot vick, imagine showing up to a PETA meeting wearing it?

    2. I'd avoid wearing a Mike Vick one, but a Ron Mexico one is just plain awesome.

    3. Haha actually tons of people tried to special order personalized Ron Mexico jerseys from NFL shop when that whole story surfaced.
      They eventually got banned.

      Try it. You'll get this message: "Your current entry cannot be processed. Language deemed inappropriate, derogatory, or profane will not be accepted. Please create a new entry."

      Haha

    4. Ron Mexico FTW

    5. Hey Greg,

      I agree with you about missing the boat with Vick. Although I still really enjoyed the article. I came across this site a few days ago and it is really cool. You seem passionate about this article so I thought you might want to check out more content like this. I just started a site called rosterboard.com. It is all about jersey numbers and the people who wear them. I would be anxious to hear what you think.

    6. how about a U.S. Olympics t-shirt with "Gaylord" on the back in honor of athlete/actor Mitch Gaylord.

    7. Joe Pisarcik

    8. It seems also to me everyone forgot about Mark Chmura of the Green Bay Packers when he was feeling up on his daughters' playmate at a sleepover at his home. She was a pre-teen then

    9. I don't care what anyone saids I am still going to wear my Vick jerseys

    10. What about a Ryan Leaf jersey?

    11. Todd Marinovich and Ki-Jana Carter

    12. Forget that if Mike Vick would have got caught in Texas they would have slapped him on the hands and he would have walked. Not agreeing with dog fighting but come on people they are just dogs. I don't see everyone holding palm palms up for the several NFL players caught cock fighting ion Louisana in 2002. Sure its legal but if your worried about a dog then worry about some chickens too cause at least we eat them.

  2. Add Bud Selig to that list and it's perfect. Great work!

    1. yeah, but he doesn't have a jersey

    2. Hey Andrew,

      I agree with you about Bud Selig. Although I still really enjoyed the article. I came across this site a few days ago and it is really cool. You seem passionate about this article so I thought you might want to check out more content like this. I just started a site called rosterboard.com. It is all about jersey numbers and the people who wear them. I would be anxious to hear what you think.

    3. Hey Christian,

      I agree with you agreeing about missing the boat with Vick. Although I still really enjoyed the comment. I came across this site a few days ago and it is really cool. You seem passionate about this comment so I thought you might want to check out more content like this. I just started a site called shamelesspromotions.com. It is all about people that make the same comment over and over again in an attempt to have people go to their lame website, even though no one will because it sounds like the single worst website ever created. I would be anxious to hear what you think...

      ...loser

  3. marcus vick

    1. how great was it when he stomped on that guy?

    2. Hey Ross,

      I agree with you about missing the boat with Vick. Although I still really enjoyed the article. I came across this site a few days ago and it is really cool. You seem passionate about this article so I thought you might want to check out more content like this. I just started a site called rosterboard.com. It is all about jersey numbers and the people who wear them. I would be anxious to hear what you think.

  4. Would $300.00 for a Trevor Baker of the Peoria Rivermen jersey be considered a good buy?

  5. yeah, i'm surprised i couldn't come up with a hockey player, i was gonna put bertuzzi up there for the sucker punch and all but i've seen plenty worse in hockey, like ty domi's elbow on niedermayer

    1. Marty McSorley. No one wants one of those.

    2. Hey Danny,

      I saw this article and really liked it. I was wondering if you would be ok if I posted the article on a website I am working on. The site is www.rosterboard.com and it is all about jersey numbers and sharing your passion for your number.

      I will definitly put reference you and provide your contact info if desired. Just email me at criley58@yahoo.com.

      Also, I was wondering if you be ok with linking to our site? We will be happy to link to your page as well.

      Thanks,
      Christian

    3. I would wear a McSorely Jersey anyday!

  6. haha great one. yeah i wouldnt be caught dead wearing a bertuzzi jersey

    1. i think he's out of the nhl now anyways

    2. Danny he just signed with Calgary for 1.95 million. He's a criminal.

    3. Speaking of sucker punchers-anybody want a Kermit Washington jersey.

  7. nope, he signed with Calgary acutally...

  8. look up gheorge muresan's this is sportscenter commercial on youtube. funny stuff

  9. Barry Bonds. If there were jerseys for NASCAR drivers you could throw in Dick Trickle.

    1. I grew up in Wisconsin, and waaay back in the day (talking pre-ESPN, okay?), I knew someone who wore a Dick Trickle racing jacket every day to high school. Never saw the humor until Dan Patrick made the name nationally famous.

    2. i know cole trickle

  10. Good article man. I would add Chris Henry, formerly of the Bengals, on there too.

  11. what about roger clemens?... maybe ??

  12. TERRELL OWENS EAGLES JERSEY. NEEDS NO EXPLANATION. IF THERE ARE ANY STILL IN EXISTANCE, THEY SHOULD BE SWIFTLY BURNED.

    1. Or used as a tailgating effigy/halloween costume

    2. Here's a true story. I am a 49er fan and I was living in Sydney, Australia. This incident was in 2005 and about a couple weeks before training camp. I was at the KFC on George Street in Sydney's CBD, and I saw this kid wearing a Terrell Owens replica jersey. He was obviously a tourist and he was with his family. I went up to him and said, "Mate, I support the 49ers, in a few months you'll regret ever getting that jersey." A couple weeks later, TO said he wasn't the one "who got tired in the Super Bowl," and he held out because of contract dispute. The rest is history. But I always wondered what that kid did with his TO jersey.

  13. A Rams Lawrence Phillips jersey? A Bengals Akili Smith or Ki-Jana Carter jersey? How about a Chargers jersey with "Leaf" on the back? My favorite would be a #5 Dolphins jersey with "Finkle" on the back.

    1. The first 2 players you named ended up in the CFL the last few years. Phillips was actually somewhat successful until his attitude caught up to him. Smith stood on the sidelines as a back-up for a while and then as soon as he was called upon, failed miserably...

      As for my vote for the list Onterrio Smith (The Original Whizzinator) would definitely be right up there. He came to camp for a CFL team about 30 pounds overwight, hurt his foot the first day and is still laughed at as another player who assumed because he played in the NFL that the CFL would be easy and people would bow to him...

    2. I saw a finkle jersey in St Augustine Florida on thursday. Thought it was great.

  14. I'm sick of every idiot that's not from Boston thinking that Buckner was a pariah. First, he played for the Red Sox as late as 1990 and no, he wasn't booed every time he stepped onto the field. In fact he was cheered in his first appearance back in a Sox uniform, and this was obviously well before any "curse" was broken. Second, true Sox fans don't blame Buckner for Game 6. They blame that idiot John McNamara for not taking him out of the game and putting Dave Stapleton in. Blaming Buckner is as absurd as blaming Pedro Martinez for Game 7 in the 2003 ALCS when everyone except Grady Little knew he had nothing left in the tank. As a Sox fan, I would proudly wear a Buckner jersey. He gave the team several good years and he has nothing to be ashamed of. The only people who should be ashamed are the media for perpetuating the myth that Sox fans hate Buckner, and idiots like you who gobble up that tripe because it makes for funny blog posts.

    1. How about a Calvin Schiraldi jersey then?

    2. How about Calvin Schiraldi?

  15. You can actually get away with wearing a Bill Buckner jersey because it can double as a Johnny Pesky #6 jersey. Buckner only played 1 year with the sox where his last name appeared on the back of his away jersey.

  16. Hmmm......Rex Grossman (Chicago days)

  17. great read.

    quick story on randall gay and the nfl.

    one of his former teachers tried to call up NFL merch. in order to get a personalized jersey. (they do this all the time).

    the nfl does not allow anything they consider to be obscene or offensive to be printed on a personalized jersey.

    basically she was denied because she wanted "Gay" on the back of the Patriots jersey. it took many phone calls before the NFL realized they actually had a player named "Gay" and that the woman wasn't trying to be crude.

    1. yeah, i actually remember hearing about that.

  18. Leonard Little?
    Albert Haynseworth?
    Pac Man!

    Maybe Jayson Williams? Killed his limo driver.

    1. being a nets fan, i'm almost ashamed to say i totally forgot about jayson williams.

  19. D'kote Fagg would be kinda interesting too. lol.

  20. Miroslav Satan? Hmm... maybe not.

    1. i'm still anxiously waiting when he signs with the new jersey devils, that would be a jersey worth buying.

    2. That would be something. I don't like Satan or the Devils, but I'd still consider getting that jersey.

      If I were a GM I would purposely make that trade.

    3. Remember: Jesus Saves, but Satan scores on the rebound.

  21. How about Tie Domi - Maple Leaf's Jersey? Became a real moron once he retired...

    1. He was well on his way while still in the Blue and White

  22. How about Rod Smart's "He Hate Me" Jersey? from the XFL

    1. I would wear that! good one though.

  23. I would have liked to have seen Michael Vick and Barry Bonds on that list. And why don't you want a WNBA jersey? I'm digging a Plenette Pierson jersey... just kidding.

  24. I would have liked to have seen Michael Vick and Barry Bonds on that list. And why don't you want a WNBA jersey? I'm digging a Plenette Pierson jersey... just kidding.

  25. How about Shareef Abdur-Rahim of the Vancouver Grizzlies?

  26. There was a promotion in Cincinnati to get people to turn in their Chad Johnson 85 Bengals jerseys in exchange for Cyclones hockey tickets or something of that nature. Pretty successful, from what I heard.

    I have a tattered, scarlet #7 Ohio State jersey (generic, there's no name on the back) and got yelled at by some idiot at a supermarket for wearing a Michael Vick jersey. Kinda pissed me off ;)

    Great read.

  27. if you have money to waste on a jersey, go for it. just dont complain when your favorite player has some dirt kicked up from under his doormat and you look like a fool who has sent $50 to some Chinese sweatshop so that you can show everyone how passionate you are about American sports. Worth it?

  28. You're a print journalism major? Time for a remedial English course. "have one two World Series"? "There had to of been"?

    1. yeah, that is a pretty stupid mistake, i fixed it.

  29. great article man! wuts gonna happen when rudy gay becomes a superstar... his jersey sales will still be 0?

  30. There is a group of fans in Buffalo who wear Simpson jerseys with Bart Simpson masks to every game. Nobody ever dare to don a Norwood jersey though.

    1. haha forgot about O.J. He was a pioneer in the disgraced former athlete movement.

  31. Ha... I enjoyed this. Although I can see some hipsters in Brooklyn, NY sporting a Muresan jersey because it's, um, cool and different, and Muresan was a likable guy.

    But the rest are dead-on. So funny. You'll never see someone wear an OJ jersey. I don't think the most thugged-out rapper would even try pulling it off.

    Nice read.

  32. How about Najeh Davenport's college jersey?

  33. How about Najeh Davenport's college jersey?

  34. How about John Amechi.

    1. LMAO

  35. WHERE IS RYAN LEAF!!

  36. how about a victor zambrano mets jersey, an alexei yashin islanders jersey, a bartolo colon expos jersey, a barry zito giants jersey

  37. victor zambrano mets jersey, alexei yashin islanders jersey, bartolo colon expos jersey, and barry zito giants jersey

    1. how about a kazmir mets jersey?

  38. what about a jersey of the guy who was drafted after peyton manning? you know the crappy qb

    1. Or Ryan Leaf!

  39. Speaking of OSU I don't see many Buckeye fans sporting ye olde #13 Mo Clarett jersey.

  40. I have two jerseys in my closet that I will not wear...

    Mark Prior and Rex Grossman

  41. Chuck Knoblauch's Yankees jersey

    1. the beauty of yankees jerseys is that the official ones never have a name on the back, so anyone who had a Knoblauch #11 could have passed for a Gary Sheffield before he ran his mouth to Detroit, or just say its for Lefty Gomez, you can never go wrong.

      Think anybody who had a Jim Leyritz #13, can pass it for A-Rod

  42. I'll proudly wear an Aaron Rogers jersey! Why are you dumping on him?

  43. vince carter raptors jersey

    1. i was just about to say the same thing. another couple for Toronto sports fans: Maple Leaf Bryan McCabe or Aki Berg jerseys (probably not many Berg jerseys in existence though)

  44. Randy Moss' Raiders Jersey, uggghhhh

  45. Michael Vick Jersey should be up there before any WNBA Jersey.

  46. I have an Albert Belle White Sox jersey. Although an Orioles one would be much worse.

    How about a Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (the runningback for the Dolphins) jersey?

  47. Ricky Williams. Even now. He retired at the top of his game and came back half playable. Dolphins fans must be pissssed.

    And is there anyway somebody could donate me an Aaron Rodgers jersey?

    1. How about a Ricky Williams Toronto Argonauts jersey?

  48. mike comrie, chris pronger edmonton oilers jersey
    alexi yashin ottawa senators or new york islanders
    andrew raycroft toronto maple leafs jersey
    andrei shevchenko chelsea jersey
    floyd landis yellow jersey
    go with the todd bertuzzi team canada jersey ('06 olympics)

  49. dick pole (the pitching coach for the reds) would be hilarious

  50. Joe Johnson

  51. Every time I go to a USC game I see at least three OJ/USC throwback jerseys. I guess they think it's funny but I think it's kinda sick.

    You forgot about former Cubs and Royals player Pete LaCock:

    http://farm1.static.flickr.com/218/468462986_aadd6f7ea5.jpg?v=1177256703

    There's also the pitcher, Jack Glasscock:

    http://wheeling.weirton.lib.wv.us/people/others/glsck2.htm

  52. Rex Grossman, John Amechi, Curtis Enis, loved the list, hilarious

    1. Also, did anybody see the pic of Vick jumping out of bounds with a photo shopped dog jumping behind him to bite him, it's great.

  53. Why is Aaron Rodgers number 3. He shouldn't even be on the list. Maybe you should put Favre on the list after his antics with the Packrs he's become the biggest prima donna in the league.

  54. I wear my Micheal Vick Jersey all the time! Me and My girl friend went to a wild game (the one where Gaborik scored 5 goals _AMAZING GAME_ ) I just happened to have it on. Some guy that sold the mini hockey sticks asked me if I was from Atlanta, I told him no I was just a fan. This guy got right up in my face and said "So you support dog killers!!! It was pretty funny.

    I would wear it to a PETA meeting!

  55. I wear my Micheal Vick Jersey all the time! Me and My girl friend went to a wild game (the one where Gaborik scored 5 goals _AMAZING GAME_ ) I just happened to have it on. Some guy that sold the mini hockey sticks asked me if I was from Atlanta, I told him no I was just a fan. This guy got right up in my face and said "So you support dog killers!!! It was pretty funny.

    I would wear it to a PETA meeting!

  56. Todd Marinovich. Or is that "Marijuanavich"?

    1. That's a good one.

  57. Pete Rose! How could everyone forget that?

    1. I would be proud to wear a Pete Rose jesery. Despite his efforts as a manager, he is the MLB hits leader and will always be Charlie Hustle. He once dislocated my Indians catcher Ray Fosse's shoulder in an All Star game, dedication to win doesn't get much better, unless there is money to be made in betting on a loss, j/k...

    2. This is in response to Chad.... Yeah and he pretty much ended that guy's career. Why? So he could be a show boat and cold clock the catcher. How bout some discretion?

  58. Horacio Llamas..... first mexican player to play in the NBA with the Phoenix Suns...

  59. VICK OR RYAN LEAF. nice story...I liked it!

    1. Definitely Leaf. They're already all over the Vick boys up top.

  60. I'm going to get a Cubs jersey with number 1906 and "Bartman" on the back.

    1. Uhhhh.....1908, you mean?? Get your facts straight, buddy. Obviously not a sports fan.

  61. How about a Marcus Vick Dolphins jersey? Or a Maurice Clarett Broncos jersey? I know Clarett got cut in training camp, but I'm sure there's at least one of his relatives that was sporting one.

    Moss & Marinovich were both great picks for the Raiders, so I have to go ahead with Cole Ford for my Silver & Black pick. What did Siegfried and Roy ever do to him?

    1. I really hope by "great picks" you meant great picks as a bad jersey, I really can't imagine any Radiers fan supporting Moss.

    2. Eian, I assure you that "great" was in reference to them being top picks for unwearable jerseys. The thing I can't believe is how many Moss jerseys I STILL SEE.

      The only Moss jersey I've ever seen that is worth wearing is a fan I saw at the Coliseum in 2007 that had it altered to read "No Moss" with a circle and slash crossing out the numbers.

  62. How about a Hossa Penguins Jersey? Seeing how the Pens fans hate him now.
    Or a Gretzky Blues jersey? He was on the team for like four minutes...

    1. that jersey though is incredible... I love the old Blues jerseys and with Gretzky's name on the back, instant classic

    2. I also really like the old Blues jerseys.
      Just thought maybe St. Louis-ans might harbor some resentment... nah, how you be mad at Gretzky?

  63. Oh come on now. My favorite is 2. Scott Norwood . I won $200 on his missed kick. Any one know wehere I can get one?

  64. How about a Quincy Carter Cowboys jersey? Couldn't play, couldn't give a coherent interview, smoked about 800 lbs of dope, etc...etc...etc.

    1. IDK bout that... quincy Carter was a decent quarteback. The only reason he was cut is because he failed to many drug tests ...

  65. Fun list. I think Buckner is ok now that Red Sox invited him back. His Cubs jersey is ok too. Now a Leon Durham jersey isnt a good choice.

    A Brent Barry Bulls Jersey should be burned too. Wow that was a bad pickup.

  66. How about a Lin Elliott Chiefs jersey? After missing 3 FG's in a playoff game he couldn't wait to get out of KC.

  67. greg ostertag, shawn bradley, kermit washington

    1. Shawn Bradley LMAO.

  68. every jersey on the list is a must avoid, EXCEPT the muresan. cmon, he was such a character, plus its an old bullets jersey, which almost makes it desirable in itself. dont forget the great commercials gheorge made back in the day either. i vote to have his jersey removed from the list.

    www.poorsportsblog.blogspot.com

  69. Haha good article Danny, I actually have a Vick jersey cuz i used to be a big fan but after that whole dog fighting thing im DEFINITELY not going to wear it anymore!

  70. Good article. I'll add a few:

    Ryan Leaf - if you can find one.

    Oregon football - just plain ugly

    Jake Plummer - a Tampa Bay Bucs one

  71. One more. LSU Ryan Perrilloux

  72. Sweet read. I love it.

    Here is some I have to add:

    Michael Jordan's Washington Wizards Jersey - that was just a mistake.

    Michael Jordan's #45 Chicago White Sox Jersey - what was he thinking?

    Any retro-rainbow Houston Astros jersey that isn't Nolan Ryan

    John Kruk Jersey - if you can find one.

    Ron Artest Jersey

    1. I bought a Kruk jersey on eBay. Come to find out they only came XXXL.

  73. I once saw a guy with a kwame brown jersey. I feel bad for all the Wizards fans that bought his jersey thinking he was the future.