San Francisco 49ers: Eat Contract Cake and Have Easier Games, Too

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San Francisco 49ers: Eat Contract Cake and Have Easier Games, Too
(Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)

Some teams seem to be a little frustrated about the No. 10 overall pick in the draft. They say he is holding up the entire signing process. They say he is stunting and screwing with the rest of the NFL.

 

Whether or not you agree or disagree with this logic, the 49ers should be thinking,
"good." Because if it is hurting other teams, it is relatively giving the 49ers the same edge.

 

One might think the 49ers are disappointed that Crabtree's agent, Eugene "The Dream" Parker, is imagining a contract FAR larger than his clients draft slot. But think again...

 

You see, the 49ers don't NEED Crabtree as much as other teams need their top picks; which is even MORE true in the 49ers own division.

 

Which games are the most important games in a football season? Division games.

 

Why? Because there are more total division games, and the leader of the division goes to the playoffs no matter what.

 

If I were the 49ers, I would gladly sacrifice Crabtree this year, if it means that all the other teams in our division will miss out on their first round picks as well.

 

The Rams are in desperate need of a high quality offensive tackle, especially now that the Orlando Pace era is no more.

 

Enter Jason Smith, or wait! No. Not yet, he's waiting for Crabtree...Sorry.

 

The Seahawks released Julian Peterson, which coincided with the arrival of Aaron Curry which is wonderful, because he will step right in and...err, hang on a sec...woops, my bad, he's also sitting on his own thumb waiting for Crabtree. Yikes.

 

The Cardinals have brought in many running backs to be "the guy," but it looks like their wait might finally be over, you see, they got a steal with the 31st overall pick in the draft, with Chris "Beanie" Wells, he arrives at the perfect time for them, like a gift from heaven, oh hell, hang on again...#$@!, sorry about that again, he and his agent are sitting on both of their thumbs waiting for Crabtree, too!

 

Shame on you Michael Crabtree!

 

As a result of "your" actions...

 

The Rams will have no pass protection, AGAIN. Two easier games for the 49ers.

 

The Seahawks will not be able to replace Julian Peterson's production. Two easier games for the 49ers.

 

The Cardinals will still have a running back by committee. Two easier games for the 49ers.

 

The 49ers without Crabtree, does not mean NEARLY as much.

 

First of all, WRs don't usually make as big an impact in their rookie seasons. Second, the 49ers still have Isaac Bruce, just signed free agent Brandon Jones, and are expecting very big things from last year's sixth round steal (and Crabtree clone), Josh Morgan. Jason Hill and others will have a chance to emerge as well.

 

You see, unfortunately for Eugene Parker and Michael Crabtree and the rest of the poor, poor *snip* *snip* teams in the NFL, especially those in our division (oh, it breaks my heart!), the 49ers don't NEED Michael Crabtree that badly.

 

The 49ers WILL NOT sign Crabtree to an outlandish top 5 contract; GUARANTEED.

 

You can go ahead and write it down. It won't happen, it can't happen.

 

They simply have NO reason to do it. NONE. AT ALL.

 

You see, the 49ers are happily sitting down (on their butts) while the rest of the NFL sits on their thumbs waiting for the 49ers to do something they will NOT (not in a million years) do.

 

The 49ers will wait for the other teams in the top 10 to sign their picks FIRST. It is not the other way around. Don't get confused.

 

If the other picks never sign, then good, because of the reasons outlined above.

 

If the other picks DO sign, then good, because then "El Dumbo" (his mother knows him as Eugene Parker) will have to at least feel the heat turn up a notch or two on his side of the universe (although I doubt his brain is even IN this particular universe).

 

In other words, the 49ERS are WAITING FOR YOU (the rest of the league) to sign YOUR picks, NOT the other way around.

 

And UNTIL you (the rest of the league) realize this, every team but one (the 49ers) will have a bunch of rookies with smelly thumbs.

 

 

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