While my participation in fantasy sports was born sometime in the last decade, in retrospect I think I’ve been subscribing to the concept and principles of fantasy as early as age 10.
Once a year. November 1. The Candy Draft.
The day after Halloween, my sisters and I would convene to build our fantasy sugar rosters, and being the oldest and most ridiculous, I took it too seriously. I’d manage to deal my Necco wafers for Snickers, Raisonettes for Peanut Butter Cups.
And my first round pick, the Carl Crawford of junk food, was always my KitKats. There was nothing I could be offered in exchange for them.
My sisters, being younger and normal, would commence eating their candy as soon as they could, but I wanted to keep trade talks alive for days, sometimes weeks. The result of this? I held onto my KitKats for so long and refused to move them, to the point where they were either melted or covered in stale powder.
Then they were about as useful to me as Necco wafers.
With the trade deadline coming up, hypotheticals over how far would you go, how much would you sacrifice, have blanketed the Yankee universe—a thick surround-sound of murmured accord and indignant disapprovals.
After weeks of observing it, I’m no more enlightened than I was before about why in God’s name is Joba seen as the immoveable keeper.
Ironically, the Yankees’ mentality seems to mimic that of a gourmet chef making risotto, terrified of letting it sit still for a second for fear of it crusting and becoming ruined. They’ve moved the young pitcher around so much, it’s amazing he hasn’t developed some kind of bipolar disorder.
The idea of trading Joba makes everyone shudder. WHY? Why do you want him so badly? While admittedly stunning back in the good old days of setup relief, he’s essentially useless as a starter and may as well be Esteban Loiaza at this point.
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