Stupid People: Our Society is Succumbing

Kelso HakesCorrespondent IApril 21, 2008

Scientists have discovered a new species that are believed to have been around since the beginning of man.

They are now the fastest growing minority in America and possibly the World. They are everywhere. Lurking in your subways, airports, government offices and Wal-marts. They are a growing factor in American culture. It only takes one to destroy a major company or even…a country.

Scientists classify them as Stupidimundos Homosapius. Common folk, such as ourselves, know them as Stupid People.

Let’s begin by saying being stupid is completely optional and preventable. My personal belief is that if you are “stupid” it is your parents fault. Well-rounded individuals, such as myself tend to have parents that took them to museums and baseball games when they were a little kid.

I find that stupid people don’t get out of the house that often. They are the people who know nothing of the world.

For instance, I know one of these deprived-from-the-world type of person.

To make fun of her I called her Amish one day. She replied, “I’m not Amish, I’m mostly German and a little Swedish.” I just gave her one of those looks. I’m pretty sure I got dumber just by hearing that.

If her parents had taken her to a museum, I’m sure we never would have heard that conversation.

Another thing that makes people stupid is they don’t think things through.They just blurt out the first thing that comes into their head. Also, they have no idea what they just said.

They say it in all seriousness. Serious face and serious tone of voice.

A teacher was showing his students pictures of the sun that he had taken from his telescope. A student raised his hand and asked, “Were these pictures taken during the day or at night?”

Stupid people are also very gullible; seriously…you can convince them to do anything. They believe anything you say.

Lonnie from said that he worked for Wendy’s. Lonnie convinced a new worker that for inventory purposes, he had to count all of the pickles in an industrial size jar. Lonnie said the guy spent half the shift in the freezer counting pickles until the manager found him.

Let’s face it…stupid people do stupid things. Stupid people might think they are smart, but in the end it makes them look even more stupid.

From the Associated Press, a man who was soliciting 13-year-old boys on the internet made his own charges of molestation…against Big Foot. Yes, he claims that he was molested by the legendary Big Foot himself.

Stupid people like the get rich quick kind of ideas. So what do they do? Lawsuits. Remember that lady who sued McDonalds after spilling a cup of coffee on her legs while driving?

A man also tried a McDonald's lawsuit - with a milkshake. He lost.

Or how about that guy who sued himself for $5 million dollars? He apparently quote, “accused himself of violating his religious beliefs and his civil rights by getting himself drunk enough to engage in various crimes.” If it’s not stupid enough yet, he said that the state should pay it.

That goes true for criminals too. Stupid criminals always seem to take the headlines.

For instance, in Chicago, there was an attempted robbery of a store. A young man stormed into the store with a gun and demanded for money. The clerk who was working said he didn’t know the combination for the safe. The robber, in return, gave his number to the clerk and told the clerk to call him when the manager was in and left. Obviously the clerk called the police and the robber was arrested.

To make matters worse, our society is succumbing to fit the needs of stupid people, especially on packaging.

The iPaper website states that on a Sears hairdryer package, it says “Do Not Use while sleeping.”

On a package of a Rowena iron is say, “Do Not iron clothes on body.”

On Sainbury Peanuts, “Warning: Contains Nuts.”

And finally on Nytol Sleep Aid, “Warning: May Cause Drowsiness.”

Do I really need to explain the common sense of these statements? So how do you know if you classify as a stupid person?

If your favorite color is clear, you are stupid.

If you consider French Fries ethnic food, you are stupid.

If you ever studied for a pregnancy test, you are stupid.

And finally, if you ever flunked an I.Q. test, you are stupid.

These statements are from the Geocities website. Stupid people have been around for a long time and I’m not the first person to make fun of them.

Rodney Dangerfield said, “my uncle was so stupid, in the civil war he fought for the west.” And “My wife was at the store the other day and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."

Great mind Albert Einstein said, and I quote, “Only two things are infinite, the universe, and human stupidity.” 

If Albert Einstein noticed it, you can tell stupidity was pretty obvious. Just think what he would say to this comment, “What is Einstein’s last name?” Here’s your sign.