Santino Marella's Cobra Charming Is WWE's Worst Spot of the Year

Alfred KonuwaFeatured ColumnistSeptember 30, 2013

WWE has enough history of ill-advised angles to make its own anthology.  But enough about TNA Impact. 

WWE once aired a tawdry vignette where Triple H simulated lewd acts with the fictional Katie Vick character.  Dwarf wrestler Hornswoggle was once revealed to be the lovechild of Vince McMahon.  In 2012, an entire episode of Raw was dedicated to a scandal that resulted from Alberto Del Rio hitting Santa Claus with his car.  Mae Young once gave birth to a hand. 

WWE was undeterred by an endless low-light reel of what has come to be known as wrestlecrap.  As was WWE creative, the McMahons, road agents, Santino Marella, Jinder Mahal, Great Khali and anybody else responsible for the "Snake Charmer" bit making it on television.  They were all up to the challenge of creating the worst-worked angle in WWE history. 

Time will only tell if this confounding display will hold up, but so far, so bad.  Here's Twitter:

@WWE @TripleH pull that Santino snake charmer gimmick again, and I will stop watching. Forever. #ImAGrownAssMan #Dammit lmao

— VenomiZ (@VenomiZ) September 29, 2013

Whoever came up with that snake charmer crap on #Smackdown should be fired immediately. @WWE @WWEUniverse

— RKOdyRhodes (@RKOdyRhodes) September 28, 2013

Did....did they just win via a snake charmer battle? I....what....gosh darn it Santino...#SmackDown #WWE

— Erik Dixon (@niodox) September 28, 2013

Was WWE Creative high when they decided on the whole snake charmer thing?

— Gwen (@TheBarrettCorre) September 28, 2013

Are you F'N serious with the snake charmer bit ? @WWE #Smackdown

— Clinton Uba (@SoCalClinton) September 28, 2013

Fans already have to suspend their disbelief to become emotionally engaged with Marella's Cobra finisher.  It is a hoot of a sequence, really.  The exuberant midcard comedian dons a green, commercialized sock simulating a snake.  From there, he choreographically slaps his arm until the snake comes alive before striking its victim. 

Santino's deft mix of charisma and charm makes the move work.  Few wrestlers would be able to pull off such a ridiculous finisher, but Marella is lovable enough to get a pass. 

This past week on SmackDown, however, Marella failed. 

Indian wrestlers the Great Khali and Jinder Mahal, who is Indo-Canadian, were booked to use flutes in order to "charm" Marella's glorified sock puppet.  Marella, who was facing Heath Slater, reacted accordingly.  His sock puppet suddenly had a mind of its own, and it was torn between two flutes.   Khali—the babyface flute—eventually won out. 

Perhaps WWE needs angles like this to remind fans that wrestling is intended to entertain, with the operative word being intended. 

The biggest storyline currently features Triple H, Stephanie McMahon and Vince McMahon virtually playing themselves as a corporate entity.  The corporation looks to push a company guy as its WWE champion, while holding back popular people's champions like Daniel Bryan. 

Despite the hyperbole used to convey an evil empire on television, this dichotomy is quite representative of the WWE.  WWE does have a company guy who they envision as a personification of its brand.  Their decision, John Cena, isn't unanimously popular with fans, and stars such as CM Punk and Daniel Bryan have had their share of real-life hurdles to climb before proving themselves as top stars. 

To be frank, WWE is too real at the moment.  With Marella's antics, at least the family-fun aspect of wrestling is emphasized even in all its infamy. 

 Listen to Episode 29 of The Kings of Sport and LIKE us on Facebook!

Listen to Episode 29 of The Kings of Sport and LIKE us on Facebook!