Athletes Who Are Better Dancers Than You
Professional athletes are obviously better at sports than you. Frankly, they're just better at life than you. They're rich, famous, talented, and relatively baller at everything they do.
That shouldn't come as a surprise to any of us plebs. There's a reason that we're doing what we do and they're doing what they do.
Athletes aren't just better at sports and life—most of them are also better than us at dancing too. The rich just get richer—am I right?
And we're not just talking about those who have appeared on Dancing With The Stars—we're talking about something as simple as shaking their stuff on the sidelines. Athletes can even do that better than you.
Want proof? Here we go!
Steve Nash, Los Angeles Lakers
The last thing you expect from Lakers point guard Steve Nash is some impressive dance moves. You expect weird bow ties. Strange fashion. The diminished play that comes with age.
But you don't expect him to rock it with some dance moves. Even some generic moves that were predetermined by a dance craze, like with PSY's "Gangnam Style."
C'mon! He's an old, tiny, white man! This is as badass as his dance moves get. I'm just impressed he didn't bust out the Macarena.
Sean Weatherspoon, Atlanta Falcons
In September 2012, the Falcons locker room must have been feeling the success of the season ahead, because they were definitely in the mood to dance.
You probably wouldn't think of an NFL linebacker as a man with moves, but Atlanta's Sean Weatherspoon certainly has his share of them—in fact, he's got a lot of people's share of them.
The Falcons linebacking crew are an interesting and entertaining bunch known as "D-Block," and their antics are very well documented on YouTube.
Hope Solo and Alex Morgan, U.S. Women's Soccer
U.S. women's soccer goalie Hope Solo displayed some seriously clunky moves on ABC's reality plague-on-humanity Dancing With The Stars, but it turns out she's not that bad of a dancer.
In September 2011, she and teammate Alex Morgan rocked the hell out of the Wii game "Just Dance Summer Party." And seriously, "Just Dance" is really hard.
They demonstrated their dance skills, as well as their physical fitness, in just under a minute. I can't do anything but chug a beer in just under a minute.
LeBron James, Miami Heat
Heat superstar LeBron James could beat you at a game of one-on-one. He could beat you at a game of H.O.R.S.E. He could probably even beat you in a game of hide-and-seek, despite being shockingly large. He's that good.
Which is exactly why it should come as absolutely no surprise that King James could also wipe the floor with you on the dance floor as well. He's just got moves to show you up in every single situation.
Just ask Bulls bad boy Joakim Noah, who was treated to James' dance moves back in 2009. Jeez Louise, did it make Noah seethe with rage. Then again, it's not all that difficult to make Noah angry.
Dwight Howard, Destination Unknown
It was tempting to use big-man-in-limbo Dwight Howard's official parody of Beyonce's "Single Ladies" to demonstrate his dancing skills. After all, he's pretty impressive in the video.
But considering how far his star has fallen over the last year or so, we could all use a reminder that Howard used to be a fun-loving player (and teammate) on the Magic.
Howard's pregame dance intro before a game against the Nets is a welcome respite in the never-ending onslaught of negative press he's been receiving recently. Granted, he's brought it on himself, but still.
Brian Wilson, MLB Free Agent
Bearded relief pitcher Brian Wilson may still be unemployed months into the 2013 MLB season, but not all is lost for the famously bearded one.
He may not being paid to play baseball at the moment, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have the skills to pay the bills. The dancing skills, that is.
Wilson is a modern day MC Hammer in his awesome pleather Hammer pants, dancing to "2 Legit 2 Quit" back in October 2011. How this video alone hasn't gotten him a job as of yet is beyond me.
Danny Green, San Antonio Spurs
Spurs forward Danny Green almost solidified a place in history by almost beating the Heat in the 2013 NBA Finals. Unfortunately San Antonio came up just short.
Although, back in his days at UNC, Green was a pretty big star, thanks to his skills on the court—not to mention his dance moves on the sidelines.
Victor Cruz, New York Giants
Undrafted free agent wide receiver Victor Cruz was franchised by the Giants in 2013 after two stunningly impressive seasons with the team.
His salary was bumped up from $630,000 to $2.879 million with the stroke of a pen—or however they do contracts in the NFL these days.
Cruz is not only known for his reception yards on the field but may be equally recognized by his patented Salsa dance moves in the end zone. Unsurprisingly, those moves extend beyond the end zone.
In February 2012, this video of Cruz dancing with stunning singer Ashanti was uploaded to YouTube. She certainly seems impressed.
DeMarcus Cousins, Sacramento Kings
There must have been something in the water at the University of Kentucky during the 2009-10 basketball season. The team produced two first-round draft picks in John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins.
The two didn't just share the same university either—they shared the same skills on the dance floor too. The pair even had a dance-off at the NBA's 2010 rookie camp.
Wall may have stolen the spotlight with his unforgettable rendition of "The Dougie" at his home opener later that season, but Cousins definitely has proved that he can hang with his former teammate.
Bernard Pollard, Tennessee Titans
Back when he was with the Chiefs in 2008, safety Bernard Pollard put on one heck of a locker-room display for some of his teammates—not to mention the viewing audience of HBO's Hard Knocks.
It may have started out as booty poppin' and some fancy footwork, which was impressive. But it ended in a full-on split! Always an impressive move when performed by a grown-ass man.
Alana Blanchard and Laura Enever, Surfers
We already know that stunning blonde surfers Alana Blanchard and Laura Enever have got the moves in the water. They can ride waves that would make a grown man flee for is life.
But did you know that they've got the moves on the dance floor too? When Blanchard turned 21 in 2011, she, Enever and friends got together for an impromptu dance party to celebrate.
Their dance moves are straight from 'da club, but their sexy sleepover wear is straight outta your dreams. You're welcome.
Alex Ovechkin, Washington Capitals
In November 2010, a video entitled "Ovechkin's Life Lessons: Dance Like No One is Watching" was uploaded to YouTube.
It was a three-minute video with Capitals superstar Alex Ovechkin rocking out like the awkward Eastern European white boy he is.
As ridiculous as Ovi's moves are, you can't help but be in awe of his ability to do exactly that—dance like no one's watching.
Jonathan Papelbon, Philadelphia Phillies
You can't blame former Red Sox relief pitcher Jonathan Paplebon for wanting to celebrate after Boston broke the Curse of the Bambino twice over in 2007.
Although his Michael Flatley/Lord of the Dance impression is pretty impressive. I know Boston is known for its Irish population, but this takes it to a whole new level.
Ray Lewis, Retired NFL
After nearly two decades in Baltimore, Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis retired in 2013, perfectly timed with winning his second Super Bowl for the only team he ever played for.
Lewis didn't just retire his bone-crushing game on the field—he also retired his famous pregame dance that had become a ritual at Ravens' home games over the years.
Many people have tried to imitate Lewis' famous dance, but none have come close to innovating it. Some things are best left to the master.
John Wall, Washington Wizards
Basketball star John Wall made quite an impression during his time at Kentucky, which is why he was chosen No. 1 overall by the Wizards in the 2010 NBA Draft.
The Wizards have been the same shade of wretched ever since drafting Wall, but Washington will always have the memory of his first introduction to the home crowd.
Back in October 2010, Wall wowed the hometown fans with his rendition of "The Dougie." Actually, he wowed pretty much everyone.
Wall's "Dougie" is still the standard for anyone brave enough to attempt the moves.
Michelle Jenneke, Track and Field
No-name Australian hurdler Michelle Jenneke went from…well…a no-name…to a worldwide phenomenon when a video of her pre-race dance ritual went viral in 2012.
Since being published in July, Jenneke's (original) video has racked up more than 23 million views on YouTube. Countless more if you include all the various knockoffs.
You may be able to duplicate her moves, but there's no way you'd look nearly as hot doing them. She is truly a global dancing treasure. Australia is very lucky.
Texas A&M Football
If you thought Heisman-winning quarterback Johnny Manziel was the only weapon that the Texas A&M aggies have at their disposal, think again.
This dance-off in 2012 between players and coaches proved that they had swag long before they defeated the previously undefeated Alabama Crimson Tide.
Peyton Manning, Denver Broncos
Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning is widely considered to have delivered the best performance of any athlete to ever host Saturday Night Live. Granted, it's a relatively small pool, but that just means that he stands out all the more.
Most people cite his "United Way" sketch as Manning's best performance of the show—and those people aren't wrong, necessarily. But Manning's dance performance towards the end of the show as a basketball player who could be inspired with a halftime dance despite losing horrifically really stole the show.
Seriously, he rocked that dance.
Shaquille O'Neal, Retired NBA
Retired NBA legend Shaquille O'Neal is a very large big man. He's not just tall and lanky like some of the big men in the game today—Shaq is nothing short of a behemoth.
Making it all the more surprising is that he's got the precise moves and delicate footwork of a man a fraction of his size. Shaq isn't afraid to do anything: Star in terrible movies, make terrible rap music or even don some hot pink undies on national television.
But Shaq is shockingly agile for a 7'1 man weighing approximately 325 pounds. At the 2009 NBA All-Star game, he danced with the Jabbawockeez and stole the show.
Fierce Five, U.S. Women's Gymnastics
American gymnast McKayla Maroney became a worldwide sensation at the 2012 Olympics in London thanks to her visible displeasure over winning the silver medal on the individual vault event.
She may have slipped up on vault, but none of the "Fierce Five" have anything to be ashamed about. They all came home champions by winning the team gold medal.
Oh, and as it turns out, they're pretty freaking solid dancers too. Check them out shaking their stuff on the Kellogg's Tour in San Jose back in September 2012.
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