WWE Divas: 20 Moments That Would Never, Ever Happen in the PG Era
The WWE seems to be giving its superstars a little more leeway with the PG rating these days.
Guys like The Rock and CM Punk have been cursing up a storm, and the WWE product in general has been a bit more edgy than at any other time since it went PG.
Still, it doesn't compare to what we used to see. At all.
Once upon a time, the Divas were a huge part of the WWE and not because of their talents in the ring. Rather, the WWE highlighted their, um, assets in ways that you'll never see today.
Here are 20 WWE Divas moments that never, ever would happen in the current PG era.
20. Mickie James Kisses Trish Stratus
Aside from some corny jokes courtesy of John Cena, the WWE pretty much stays clear of anything involving homosexuality nowadays.
That's why you can say goodbye to the days when the Divas used to make out with each other in true "lesbehonest" moments.
My personal favorite was when a crazed Mickie James planted a kiss on Trish Stratus under the mistletoe.
Merry Christmas, indeed.
19. Hornwsoggle Invades Melina's Shower Time
Hornswoggle in stupid skits has become the norm in the PG era, but the midget leprechaun formerly known as "Little Bastard" used to be somewhat of a peeping tom.
He once slyly watched Melina take a shower and made millions of viewers jealous in the process.
Not that she was even showing all that much skin, but I'm sure this is deemed "too hot for TV" now that the PG rating is here.
Oh, by the way, John Morrison is one lucky dude.
18. Kelly Kelly Gets a Spanking
Let's see what's going on here: Violence against women, Kelly Kelly in a thong, a "Show Your Tits!" chant and a bloody Tommy Dreamer.
This is like Vince McMahon's worst nightmare coming true.
I think it's safe to say to that there's no way one of these things happens in today's WWE, much less all four of them.
17. Lita Strips as Santa
Lita is one of my favorite Divas of all-time for three reasons: She was hot, she could actually wrestle and she basically always had that thong of hers showing.
Ah, those were the days.
I could pick a number of Lita moments to put on here, but I decided to celebrate the Christmas season with this clip of Lita stripping down at WWF New York in Times Square.
I'm pretty sure Jerry Lawler almost had a heart attack here.
16. Trish Stratus Plays Strip Poker with the Acolytes
The beauty of the Attitude Era was that the backstage segments that seem completely pointless in the PG era were still pretty pointless back then, but didn't seem like it because they often featured some awesome Diva moments.
Kinda like this.
I've never been much of a poker guy or a fan of any card games for that, but I would gladly play a game of "Go Fish" if it meant that Trish Stratus would strip down to her bra and panties.
15. Mr. McMahon Makes Trish Take It off
Speaking of Trish Stratus, here's another clip involving one of the greatest Divas ever that Vince McMahon would never allow on TV today.
There's nothing too over-the-top here, but Vince does make Trish strip down to her bra and underwear in front of an arena full of thousands of people.
OK, I guess that was his way of "humiliating" her. But let's be honest--with the way she looked, I highly doubt she was embarrassed whatsoever.
14. What an Amazing Match
For starters, this Divas matches featured two women who can actually wrestle, Jillian Hall and Mickie James, we all know that that rarely happens in today's WWE.
But, to top things off, Jillian shoved Mickie's face in her, um, chest and shook her goods for the crowd, while Mickie planted a big kiss on Jillian before hitting her with her finisher.
Yeah, there's no way that's going down in the PG world.
That being said, the title of that video is correct: This is quite possibly the hottest exchange I've ever seen in a legitimate match.
13. Stephanie Thinks Trish Stratus Has Been a Bad Girl
Trish Stratus must have done something wrong, because she was always being forced to take her clothes off.
Whether it was the Acolytes, Vince or Stephanie McMahon, Trish sure seemed to make a lot of people mad and wind up stripping down as a result.
No complaints from me, though.
Nowadays, whenever Divas do something wrong, they just get released. I think we should go back to the old method.
12. Stone Cold Strips Stephanie McMahon
Stephanie McMahon is the daughter of Vince and now the wife of Triple H and a mother of three.
You think this would go down in today's PG era? As "Stone Cold" Steve Austin might not say, hell no.
The story lines that Stephanie used to be involved in back in the day were quite outrageous, but I think we can all officially kiss those days goodbye.
Damn you, Triple H.
11. Sable vs. Torrie Wilson...in a Bikini Contest
There is no other way to describe the Bikini Contest between Sable and Torrie Wilson: It was phenomenal.
Two of the hottest Divas in WWE history pranced around in their bikinis for more than five minutes, and following the contest, Torrie planted a sensual kiss on Sable.
In the PG era, the Divas are too busy putting on horrible matches for stuff like this to go down.
What a shame. Sable and Torrie were quite good at walking around and looking smoking hot.
10. Sunny Does Elmo?
I wouldn't be even remotely surprised if we were to see Elmo, the Cookie Monster or Oscar the Grouch host Monday Night Raw in today's PG era.
But I can guarantee you that none of the Divas would have sex with Elmo, like Sunny did way back in 1997.
In a very bizarre clip, Sunny stripped a life-sized Elmo of his man thong, removed hers as well and then proceeded to make love to the red, furry creature.
Um, WTF was that?
9. Edge and Lita's Live Sex Show
No matter how many times I watch Edge and Lita's live sex celebration, I still can't believe that it actually went down.
Does Vince McMahon realize that he actually put two of his stars in a bed in the middle of the ring and had them simulate sex?
Better yet, does he realize that Jerry Lawler was doing play-by-play of their lovemaking and saying that Edge "was going down south?"
I found it quite hilarious, but my guess is that the people at the FCC would blow a gasket if this happened during the PG era.
8. Hardcore Match: Tori vs. Ivory
When's the last time we saw a Hardcore match between two Divas?
When's the last time we saw two Divas wrestling around while one was wearing a thong?
When's the last time we saw two Divas in the shower together?
I have no idea, but this is the last time we see all three of them happen at once, and unless Vince McMahon goes into hibernation, we can bank on never seeing it again.
7. Kelly Kelly Tries to Strip
"From Exhibitionist to Divas Champion: The Story of Kelly Kelly."
If the WWE ever uses that title for a DVD on Kelly Kelly's career, I should get a cut of the profit.
In all seriousness, though, many may have forgotten that K2 made her WWE debut on ECW as an exhibitionist who performed in "Kelly's Expose" and would strip down to basically nothing.
She was a pretty horrible dancer/stripper, but her incredible hotness was undeniable.
Now, Kelly Kelly is relegated to trying her little heart out in the ring and often failing miserably. I'm guessing that's the tradeoff for the PG era, though.
6. See-Through Ivory
OK, I have to question whether this is even allowed on TV.
This is a video package with WWE Diva Ivory trying on lingerie for a photo shoot, and it ends with her wearing a bra that is quite obviously-see through.
Not like "hey, you can almost see her boobies through that bra" see-through. Like "damn, you can see her nipples" see-through.
The WWE might as well have just come right out and shown us Sable's Playboy spread.
5. Sable's Painted Bathing Suit Top
I use the term "bathing suit top" loosely because all it was was some acrylic paint on a pair of double Ds.
Sable did stuff like this all the time back in the 1990s, and it is essentially the main reason why she became so popular.
But if you think we're going to see Kelly Kellly do this on next week's edition of Monday Night Raw, then keep on dreaming.
Until Linda McMahon's Senate aspirations are done for good, the PG era is here to stay.
4. Candice Michelle's Wardrobe Malfunction
I think the main reason why we don't see Divas in towels too much anymore is to prevent stuff like this from happening.
When Mickie James and Melina were duking it out in the women's locker room, Candice Michelle entered the room to see what was going on and had a "wardrobe malfunction" as a result.
I tend to believe that was planned, but of course, I could be wrong.
No matter what, though, I think the days of half naked Divas have gone the way of the cassette player.
3. Dawn Marie Flashes the Goods
Thanks to some tricky camera work, Dawn Marie is able to flash the goods to Smackdown announcers Taz and Michael Cole.
Yeah, that was pretty much the whole point of this segment.
As Dawn Marie says herself, she was gonna "go wild" like those girls on Girls Gone Wild pay-per-view shows like to do.
I'm fairly certain Vince McMahon would blow a gasket if that happened in today's WWE. Then again, he didn't even notice that Gail Kim eliminated herself from that battle royal a while back, so he might miss this as all.
Actually, no, he wouldn't.
2. ECW's Strip Poker
Never had I ever wanted to be Balls Mahoney...until ECW's strip poker show back in 2006.
It's hot divas galore, with some of them stripping down to their lingerie and others getting completely naked.
Sorry, I was watching the video and forgot what I was supposed to be typing there for a second.
Damn you, Vince McMahon, for making the WWE PG and taking this away from all of us.
1. The Kat Escapes from Her Cage
Even before the PG era, professional wrestling was typically considered to be a family show.
Guys would bring their families with them, and the arena would be packed with hundreds, if not thousands, of kids.
Apparently the WWE didn't realize that, though.
Somehow, the company allowed The Kat to escape from its cage.