WWE Bummer Report: 7 Things That Won't Happen in the Next 6 Months
WrestleMania 28 is less than six months away. The internet is already buzzing with predictions of future champions, matches and storylines. Not surprisingly, a lot of these are just wishful thinking by the IWC and sometimes we all need a reality check.
We're all gonna be big boys and girls, and accept that even though these events may happen someday, they won't be happening before or during WrestleMania 28...
Wrestlers from ROH Will Be Joining WWE...
These rumors started back when CM Punk left Chicago with the WWE Title. He was going to come back and bring a bunch of ROH wrestlers with him. This didn't happen when the timing was perfect, and won't happen in the next six months.
This is nothing against ROH as a company or its wrestlers. The trouble isn't with them, it's with the WWE roster. There are way too many wrestlers on the roster who are being underutilized already. Supershows are making this an even bigger problem since main performers are taking time on both shows instead of one.
Once WWE gets its roster figured out, and certain stars are either pushed or released, then the WWE may look back to ROH for new talent, but that's not happening anytime soon.
Some Hope: Ring of Honor is still amazing to watch on its own.
Zach Ryder Will Be US Champion...
WWE is doing a great job adding prestige to the titles. Top performers are competing for the intercontinental and tag titles.
The US Belt is kind of a forgotten token on Raw. Ziggler wears it but would be just as effective of a character without it. The same is true for Ryder. He is a goofy, funny, entertaining character. That's true whether he's champion or not. WWE has other performers who need the belt more. Expect Mason Ryan to get it soon to help his current push and get Ziggler into the tag division full time.
Some Hope: Ryder is getting more TV time each week. He's also one of few wrestlers popular with the crowds, internet and is PG friendly...that's job security.
Christian's Push Will Continue...
He had a good run. Despite being Captain Charisma and putting on great matches, Christian is engulfed in the conspiracy/walkout and is not the main player.
Miz and Truth are going to be the focal points, Otunga is getting air time and Swagger/Ziggler are doing the muscle work. Christian is being included, but is being forgotten about when it comes to titles and pay per views.
There is something he, the WWE and the fans need to accept...he is not Edge, and he never will be.
Some Hope: This is all better than TNA
PG Era Will End...
Remember how the reality era was starting? It seems like it's been awhile. CM Punk is not breaking the fourth wall, they freak out when Cody Rhodes starts bleeding and Ryder still hasn't defended the internet title. The WWE is a business, and they know that kids are where there money is at.
Although the Summer of Punk was some of the best things the WWE has done creatively, they didn't increase ratings or pay per view buys. We also have to remember, Linda McMahon is still running for Senate, and doesn't want to show swearing or blood that can hurt her campaign.
Some Hope: They can say "Ass" on TV again.
Undertaker Will Face (Enter Name Here) at Wrestlemania...
That guy in the fedora? That's the Phenom, the Dead Man, the guy who retired Shawn Michaels...looks a little different than usual, right?
His unbeaten streak at Wrestlemania is one of the biggest accomplishments in wrestling history, and taking more than half the year off (so far) is a pretty good sign this Wrestlemania will be Undertaker's last match.
If Taker does have a match at Wrestlemania (and even that is questionable), it will need to be against someone he already has a long time feud with so he won't have to build one on TV. So that crosses off Wade Barrett, Chris Jericho, Alberto Del Rio, CM Punk and Daniel Bryan (someone said Bryan might cash in his briefcase on Taker's streak...)
It also has to be someone who can put on a good match. Taker's last match will not be two giants just slugging each other. This crosses off Big Show, Mark Henry and Kevin Nash.
Others are either in TNA or aren't wrestling period. This crosses off Sting, Samoa Joe, Ric Flair and Stone Cold.
I also wanna dismiss Randy Orton as a challenger. He has not been seen as a legend killer in a while, and being the top guy on Smackdown means he is going to be involved in the WHC match in some way at Wrestlemania.
Some Hope: Kane (exception to the big man rule) and Mick Foley both have a long history with Taker and may still be able to put on a really good match.
They Will Bring Back WWE Ice Cream Bars...
Do you know how many different ice cream treats there are? No way WWE will enter into a flooded market. Punk should lower his expectations to being on WWE fruit snacks. They don't sound like they taste that good anyways.
Some Hope: Ben & Jerry's might be huge wrestling fans. I'm thinking "CM Punk's Straight Fudge Society."
Daniel Bryan Will Be the World Heavyweight Champion...
It hurts to write the title of this slide, but it's true.
Bryan is back to being the most underutilized performer in the WWE. He has very little character, no storyline and zero momentum. He would put on a five-star match and Mania, but WWE isn't interested in having a great match no regular fan cares about.
People who say he is just building an underdog status are fooling themselves. Headliners at Wrestlemania don't job other performers each week on Smackdown.
WWE wants well known people walking out of Mania as champion. At the rate they're going, five months is not enough time to get Bryan over.
Some Hope: Bryan has buzzed his hair and grown back his beard. He now looks less like the most generic man in the world and more like the drunk guy downtown who hassles you for change...this is an improvement.
There...that wasn't so bad. We can all move past these things and focus on good things that are actually happening. I may be too cynical, but its unlikely for me to be wrong about all of these subjects.
Some Hope: I didn't say anything about Jericho not coming back.