Deathwatch: Why the WWE Is Actually Dying This Time

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Deathwatch: Why the WWE Is Actually Dying This Time

I don't want to watch someone's skull get cracked open with a chair.

I can go to Netflix, click on a rated-R Hong Kong flick, and watch someone pretend to shoot someone's cerebral cortex out through their retinas.  I don't need the WWE to produce senseless violence. 

I don't want to hear Triple H drop an F-bomb on CM Punk.

I can go to YouTube, click on any comedian from Ricky Gervais to Chris Rock and hear any number of profanities dropped in a stand-up routine.  I don't need the WWE to release crass diatribe for the sake of seeming "edgy". 

I don't want to see Maryse flash her breasts on the next PPV. 

Not only have I already seen them in Playboy, but if I really want to see naked boobs, there's more pornography on the Internet than actual text.  I don't need the WWE to try and become my new favorite pornographer. 

Honestly, I get more entertainment out of watching the guys I watched with my older brothers growing up than I do watching the current WWE product. 

Watching Hulk Hogan overacting, talking about how when Andre ripped the chain off of his chest, he was ripping it off of all the "Little Hulksters" and how their upcoming match contract is written in blood, is more entertaining than watching Sin Cara cut a bilingual promo about how he's going to be more aggressive now.

I don't care. 

Macho Man, Jake The Snake, The Ultimate Warrior, Roddy Piper, Ted DiBiase—they never went on streams of persistent profanity.  Miss Elizabeth never exposed herself on TV.  No one ever hit someone in the face with a flaming 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire. 

It wasn't necessary. 

Because the WWE-produced character-driven material that was fun to watch, even without the blood and cursing. 

Fast forward to the days of the Attitude Era.  Do you think that people loved it just because it was for college-aged people?  Do you think the only reason the WWE sold out arenas and were a juggernaut in the ratings is because The Kat took off her bra on PPV?  Or that The Rock told Triple H to "Shut up, B****?" 

No.

A simple look through the greatest moments in the WWF, for fans of that era, will tell you it wasn't the cursing or nudity or excessive violence. 

It was Mick Foley throwing a "This Is Your Life!" party for the Rock.

It was Stone Cold mowing down his enemies with a beer hose or kidnapping Vince McMahon and making him pee his pants with a fake pop-gun. 

It was Eddie Guerrero winning his WWE Heavyweight Title. 

It was the New Age Outlaws stuffing Mick Foley and Terry Funk in a dumpster and throwing them off the end of the stage. 

It was The Hardyz, The Dudleys and E&C giving everything they had in a TLC match. 

It's those memories that endure with the fans. 

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