Saints vs. Packers: Saints Will Baptize Packers with Bombs over Green Bay

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Saints vs. Packers: Saints Will Baptize Packers with Bombs over Green Bay
Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

Are you ready for the new school NFL air raid offenses baptizing each other’s defenses, with quarterbacks like Drew Brees and Aaron Rodgers dropping bombs? With them launching ballistic weapon receivers, if you’re an offensive coordinator, then you’d better be prepared.

Like the prophetic Outkast song, “Bombs Over Baghdad,” and the Hurricane Katrina foreshadowing movie, Oil Storm, it’ll be bombs over Green Bay and wild winds from New Orleans wrecking havoc on unsuspecting NFL defenses.

Marching in for the oil deposits under Lambeau Field, the Saints will be invading Green Bay in an attempt to get their hands on some of the black gold Rodgers struck in the Super Bowl. If the Saints can come away with the Texas tea, then the millionaire players will be on their way to removing the sour taste from their mouths after their playoff loss to Seattle.

The billionaire owners—and the rest of the employees of their international businesses—are glad the lockout ended and that this opening battle in the NFL war season is starting on schedule. When the Packers and Saints clash Thursday night to start the season, the world will be watching.

It looked for a while that the festivities would be knocked off their time frame because of the lockout, but the disputing sides struck gold in the treaty—the new collective bargaining agreement—only to have New Orleans and Green Bay break the peace.

Defending the gold at Lambeau will be the green army with the “G” on the sides of their helmets.

Rodgers is the global general who will have all-day protection in the belly of the beast. The enemy Saints believe in blitzkriegs as well, but he can easily side-step the assault with his driver’s route-running.

Donald Driver may be a grizzled veteran, but his navigation gives the enemy fits, and they’re still seldom able to locate his position. His stealth is balanced by his unit’s speedy assault on the flanks.

His weapons—Driver, Jermichael Finley, Greg Jennings and Jordy Nelson—are really high-tech nuclear warhead receivers who are used to overrunning defenses like man-moving hurricanes against New Orleans.

The Packers drill daily on navigating routes their enemies have no idea exist. The offensive attack centers on Rodgers’ audibles. He’s the secret weapon whose secret has been exposed to those who know the truth about his abilities. The reigning capstone above the NFL pyramid of quarterbacks, he’ll direct his team against the quarterback who could take his top spot.

Brees has been known to baptize his enemies with brimstone, thunder and fiery leadership. His hurricane-prepared Saints defense will have trip mines set and booby traps ready for Rodgers and his receivers. The dogfights in the air and at the lines of scrimmage will determine early air supremacy.

If the Saints are blessed enough to hold Green Bay’s receivers up at the fronts and capture a blueprint of the routes their running, then they could start to intercept some of the ballistic weapons and shoot down some of the missiles. If not, then green-clad Packers will be successful in defending their gold fortress.

The high cost could be a heavy taxation and gamesmanship trash talk mind control by the time the game ends for those who underestimate Green Bay’s fire against the invading Saints defensive backfield. Rodgers has tortured some of the best defenses in the world, and he won’t give up his global position without a fight to the death.

If he can lead the Packers to another Super Bowl championship, then he could be sitting on top of an empire and another dynasty for Title Town, USA.

Once they get behind enemy lines, G-men will be parachute-landing in the red zone and looking to score touchdowns if the defense covers the flanks and seam routes. Green Bay has their repaired weapon, Ryan Grant, ready to roll like a new Sherman tank.

Are you ready for the new school NFL football weapons? They’re go-to tight ends with nuclear reactors for hands. Their nuclear research funding is for new ways to blow up NFL defensive schemes with the precision of United Nations demolition teams.

Jermichael Finley will participate in the air invasion in the middle, east, west, north and south. His counterpart with the Saints, Jimmy Graham, will look to impose his will.

Look for both tight ends to play huge parts in the opening game and throughout the season. I wouldn’t be surprised if Finley leads the Packers in touchdown receptions this year. Graham probably won’t; Brees has more weapons than Rodgers has.

War is hard to predict a winner in during the early stages, but somebody with a keen eye has to do it.

Prediction:

The Saints will find shelter from Green Bay’s air-raids. After the bombing ends, New Orleans will launch its own offensive and overwhelm the defending champions by a score of 34-31.

Contact Lake Cruise: lakecruise@att.net

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