My All-Anything Team: The Space Jammers

WhatIfSports.com by Senior Analyst Written on November 06, 2008
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By Nicole Green, Whatifsports.com

 

Covered in dust and neglected due to its outdated format, is a classic cinematic exploration of the collision between the human and cartoon universes. Featuring NBA stars of the past and an all-star cast of Looney Tunes animations, Space Jam was a hit, at least in my first grade review.

 

Naturally, my All-Anything Team for BleacherReport.com is comprised of the NBA athletes whose starring roles and cameos cast the movie and the extent of my NBA knowledge at the time.

 

These players had their basketball skills stolen by sworn enemies of the NBA, the Nerdlucks, while others suffered the threat. Unfortunately for opponents, no alien force or otherwise, hinders the performance of the movie-star hoopers who make up my All-Anything DreamTeam, the “Space Jammers.”

The Hornets lent Larry Johnson and Muggsy Bogues, the NBA’s shortest player, juxtaposed by Shawn Bradley of the Nets, who was the tallest. From the Suns came A.C. Green, Charles Barkley, and Danny Ainge. The Knicks provided Charles Oakley, Patrick Ewing, and Derek Harper, while Vlade Divac arrived from the Lakers. And of course, the Chicago Bulls’ Michael Jordan joined the team, along with the Celtics’ Larry Bird.


The Starters

PG    Muggsy Bogues     11.1 PPG      8.7 APG

SG    Michael Jordan      26.9 PPG      6.7 RPG

SF     Larry Bird             28.7 PPG     10.5 RPG

PF     Larry Johnson       18.8 PPG       7.2 RPG

C       Patrick Ewing       23.9 PPG     11.0 RPG

 

Bench

PG    Derek Harper        11.5 PPG      5.7 APG

SG    Danny Ainge            7.7 PPG      1.5 RPG

SF    Charles Barkley      23.0 PPG    11.1 RPG

PF    A.C. Green            11.2 PPG       8.2 RPG 

PF    Charles Oakley       10.1 PPG      8.9 RPG

C      Vlade Divac            16.0 PPG    10.4 RPG

C      Shawn Bradley        9.5 PPG        8.0 RPG

 


With the exception of Larry Bird, each player was chosen from his 1994-1995 season.  Space Jam was released in 1996, but in the film Danny Ainge plays for the Suns; his last professional season was the 1994-1995 season. All players’ teams from the 1994-1995 season correspond to the teams for which they played in the movie. Larry Bird, a retiree, is used in his 1984-1985 season for this simulation.

The Space Jammers play at the United Center in Chicago.

If you would like to test your DreamTeam against this one, just go to WhatIfSports.com’s NBA SimMatchup, go to the search tab and find "Space Jammers."

Click here for an example of a boxscore between Paul Bessire's In-Your-Face Disgrace team and the Space Jammers.

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written on November 06, 2008 Humor

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