2011 British Open: Better Throw Logic out the Door, Pay Attention to the Weather

The last time the Open Championship was contested at Royal St. George's, the mighty Ben Curtis walked away with the Claret Jug.

That was the mighty, ranked-396th-in-the-world Ben Curtis.

That would be like S.S. Hong, the world's current No. 396, winning this week. It won't happen because he's not in the field.

Folks, what you have here at Royal St. George's is golf that defies logic. It throws shaving cream pies in the face of logic. It takes normal and throws it out the clubhouse window.

Martin Kaymer said it best yesterday: "It's not normal."

If you flew over Royal St. George's, you might wonder if the RAF used it for bombing practice during World War II. It's a beastly piece of links land, land that "links" the sea to the "normal" land.

Golf there is not normal, not logical. If you're considering your favorites, take into mind that the 13 Open Championships at Royal St. George's have produced eight first-time major winners. It defies logic.

Most important, before you starting bantering your "favorites" out there, you'd better check out the weather.

We've done it for you right here, laddies. You'd better check out the next four days on the bonnie, bonnie banks of Royal St. George's because it could get testy. If you pay attention, you might find out that the afternoon wave on Thursday might be at a distinct disadvantage with winds manageable in the morning but picking up to 28-31 miles per hour in the afternoon.

Check out that rainy weekend as well.

Now consider we're looking at an illogical venue for a championship that can produce some illogical winners. With that in mind, consider these contenders.

The "Logical" Picks

Luke Donald: World's No. 1, no majors but a great putter and eye-opening short game.

Lee Westwood: Superb driver of the golf ball, can flight his shots. Would win by five if he had Luke Donald putting for him.

Rory McIlroy: Yeah, he's a rock star now. But consider his manager, Chubby Chandler, admitted McIlroy might have some difficulties in this championship. Listen to Chubby.

Graeme McDowell: Well, yeah, fashionable pick. A high-ranked European player, bet you had to think hard on that one.

Martin Kaymer: Best thing he has going is that he understands this week "is not normal."

The "Illogical" Picks

Angel Cabrera: He can play illogical golf. He's a plodder and has two major championships. He's feeling better, played good last week. He's a stout guy who won't get blown about by the wind.

Sergio Garcia: Garcia's totally illogical. Never won a major, he's using the "St. Jude" putting grip but boy, can he strike a golf ball. He has the perfect ball flight for links golf and for high wind conditions. And like Westwood, he would easily win this week with Donald putting for him.

Bubba Watson: Watson already has his pissy attitude towards European golf, and if conditions get a little testy, well, Watson might get rattled. Still, Watson is a totally illogical golfer with an illogical swing and illogical style. Perfect!

Matteo Manassero: It's illogical that someone that young could jump up and win a major this week, but he can drive the ball straight, is a control player and has more European tour wins than the "logical" favorite, McIlory. Perfectly illogical.

Matt Kuchar: Any American pick is illogical, but he's the least illogical. Kuch played pretty well in Scotland with no wind, how will he play this week with wind?

Supremely Illogical Picks

Paddy Harrington: Here's guy with three majors and no one ever talks about him anymore. He's a supreme tinkerer when it comes to his golf swing, which is illogical. That makes him a perfect candidate to win this week.

Ian Poulter: Illogical attire, illogical hair, nothing logical about "Prince Poppycock." Perfect!

Louis Oosthuizen: It's certainly not logical that a guy who won his first major last year could basically fall of the radar. Illogical. Another perfect contender.

Charl Schwartzel: He already won his major this year and logically, St. George's has produced eight first-time major champions in the last 13 years, which makes him winning supremely illogical. Perfect!

Zach Johnson: Ah, got you, here's another American. The most illogical winner of the Masters in a while, which would make him a perfect candidate here. Totally illogical that a guy from Iowa could master St. George's. Perfect!

Off-The-Wall Illogical Picks

Phil Mickelson: Lefty has 17 Open appearances and one third place to show for it. Basically, if Mickelson considers hitting any flop shots, Bones should simply take the wedge from him and snap it over his knee. Philly Mick is the King of Illogic, which makes him "Off the Wall" illogic. Perfect.

Ben Curtis: One fluke per decade is one too many, but it went to Curtis in 2003 then the great Todd Hamilton in 2004. Off the wall illogical.

Kyle Stanley: Steve Stricker's birdie at 18 last week was off the wall illogical. Fate will make it up to Stanley this week. Perfect!

Martin Laird: You'd think a guy from Scotland would be great on links, yet he won on the PGA Tour this year. Illogical, maybe not off the wall, but hey, let's throw him in the mix!

Y.E. Yang: WOTW. Way off the wall. Perfect!

Laughing Out Loud Illogical Picks

Edoardo Molinari:  An Italian winner at the Open Championship. Brilliant!

Francesco Molinari: Doubles the odds for an Italian winner. Brilliant!

Ernie Els: Whatever happened to Els?

George Coetzee: You'll have to look him up, won't you?

Mark Foster: Check the last three European Tour events.

Eyeball-Rolling Illogical Picks

Freddie Yack, a.k.a Fredrik Jacobson: Now there's one for you. Wouldn't he be a hoot with the Claret Jug?

Paul Casey: Does he still play golf?

Johan Edfors: Not as illogical as you might think.

Alvaro Quiros: Illogical, but he sure hits it a long way.

Retief Goosen: He'd win by five if he had Donald putting for him.

By now you should get the picture.

There's nothing logical this week and if you think there is logic to it all, get down in one of those pot bunkers and try to get out.

It's all so very illogical.

It would drive Mr. Spock nuts.