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Seattle Mariners Baseball is Like an Elvis Costello Album

"Go Away" reminds me of Chone Figgins.
"Go Away" reminds me of Chone Figgins.Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images
Alex CarsonCorrespondent IIIJuly 8, 2011

Sometimes I like to cruise through Wikipedia by using the random article link.

Today, while clicking said link, an Elvis Costello album randomly appeared on my screen. It contained a track listing that made me think quite a bit about the Mariners.

I suppose I could click the random link again, and if I tried hard enough, I could take anything and somehow relate it to the Mariners. Pyramidalis Bertini just isn't going to be as easy as this Costello album, that's all.

So the album is titled Momofuku. It was released in 2008 and I'm sure it's a fine collaboration of musical instruments and the sweet vocal sounds of Mr. Costello. These tracks reminded me of our lovable M's:

"No Hiding Place" - Indeed. The Mariners have hung around in contention, but we all know their weaknesses and they can't hide behind the pitching in a sustainable manner.

"Turpentine" - The Mariners offense is thin. Almost like it was doused with turpentine over and over.

"Flutter and Wow" - A real definition for flutter is "to vibrate in irregular spasms." That's the Mariners offense, and we are all left to just say "wow" each night.

"Go Away" - This makes me think of Chone Figgins mostly. Sometimes Jack Wilson, Carlos Peguero, Brendan Ryan in the two-hole, Adam Kennedy in the three-hole, the Moose and anyone who starts the wave late in a tight game.

Thank you, Mr. Costello. Your music has inspired me without even having listened to it.

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