Another weekend, and another opportunity for sports fans to scratch their heads and say, “What the…?”
Welcome to Kyle’s Week Two “What the…?” Awards. Let’s get right to it.
“What the Phillies Offense?”
Dear Philadelphia Phillies offense,
Welcome to the World Series. It is nice to see that you have finally showed up.
After going a dismal 1-for-the century with runners-in-scoring position, and leaving every citizen of Philadelphia on base, you finally erupted for some runs as you defeated the Rays 10-2 in Game Four of the World Series. You only left eight men on base in the whole game and you managed to record 12 hits in the contest.
Ryan Howard, you were a monster. Going 3-for-4 with a dinger and five RBI was crucial for the Phil’s offense. Rays' manager Joe Maddon had to have removed his Buddy Holly glasses, looked at himself in the mirror, and thought, “What the…?”
“What the Golden Hurricanes?”
Hey BCS "geniuses,” you may want to take note of the Tulsa Golden Hurricanes. Sure, Tulsa plays in the Conference U.S.A., but guess what? These guys can play with anybody. Tulsa’s offense, with its no huddle strategy, can make a game move faster than a drunken prom date.
Explain to me how teams like Boise State and Utah can be higher than the Golden Hurricane in the polls. Tulsa is 8-0 on the season, and aren’t as high in polls simply because of a preseason bunk ranking.
The Hurricanes have one advantage over other non-BCS schools, and that is the fact that they have a Conference Championship game. If the Hurricane runs the table, then the BCS has no choice but to kick themselves and think “What the…?”
“What the Steelers' Long Snapper?”
I get it. He’s the back-up long snapper for the Steelers. He can’t be expected to perform when called upon. Wait, yes he can, and yes he should. What else does back-up snapper James Harrison do for the team?
I would think that if you were delegated as back-up long snapper, that you would have practiced this at some point. Harrison single-handedly brought the Giants back into the game. New York had only been able to come away with field goals (four to be exact) and trailed the Steelers 14-12 with just over six minutes to go in the fourth quarter.
With a punt in the works, Harrison promptly snapped the ball over the punter’s head and out the back of the end zone for a safety. With the score 14-14, the Giants rallied and drove the field on their next possession, before Eli Manning found Kevin Boss for the go-ahead score.
Hey Harrison, “What the…?”
“What the Lack of Upsets?”
College football is quite the game. One week it seems as though every team ranked in the top ten can’t buy a win, and the very next week they all go on the road and defeat their opponents.
Georgia tops LSU in Baton Rouge, while Alabama goes before 102,000 Tennessee faithful and demoralize the Volunteers. Penn State picks up the win over host Ohio State, and Texas Tech marches into Kansas and makes light work of the Jayhawks. How about a little consistency from college football, I mean “what the…?”
That does it for this week’s edition of Kyle’s “What the…?” Awards.
As always, please feel free to add to the list via a comment.