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Cricket Voices: Stephen Smith, Graeme Swann, Simon Katich, Andrew Strauss

Simon Katich
Simon KatichRyan Pierse/Getty Images
Linus FernandesAnalyst IIJune 13, 2011

What he said:

“If he’s not in the top 25 Australian cricketers—and I can’t find one better opener than him on that list, let alone two—then I’ll go hee for chasey.”

Australia’s federal defence minister, Stephen Smith, criticises Cricket Australia’s omission of Simon Katich from the list of 25 centrally contracted players.

What he really meant:

“If Simon Katich is not a current top 25 Australian cricketer, I’ll be hornswoggled.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Who’s Chasey?”


What he said:

“I was getting paid to play crosswords, having tea brought to me and having my every whim taken care of. It was brilliant.”

Graeme Swann, ruminating on the perks, believes that representing England in cricket is the best job in the world.

What he really meant:

“I’m grateful I’m a cricketer, not a typical nine-to-fiver. I’m really spoilt.”

What he definitely didn’t:

Graeme Swann
Graeme SwannDaniel Berehulak/Getty Images

“I’m pitching cricket—as a profession.”


What he said:

“He [Sachin Tendulkar] is an inspiration to all of us older guys, because he was written off a couple of years ago, ironically by one of our selectors, and the fact is he has proved him wrong.”

Simon Katich informs the Australian press that selectors are not infallible, pointedly referring to Greg Chappell’s comments on Sachin Tendulkar in the past. 

What he really meant:

“If Sachin can bat, bowl and field—at his age—with the abandon of youth, can’t I, too? A big X for Greg.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Greg prodded and spurred Sachin to greater heights.”

“Saurav Ganguly will vouch for Greg’s excellent track record.”


What he said:

"It’s one of the better items of post you get through the letterbox—certainly better than a gas bill."

English Test skipper, Andrew Strauss, is suitably chuffed at being annointed an Officer of the Order of the British Empire.

What he really meant:

"Are you enthused about bills, especially utilities? Not me. This is one piece of post I’m thrilled to receive."

What he definitely didn’t:

"The sun never sets on the British Empire—not the cricketing one."


What he said:

“I have a problem calling anything where you have to wear formal pants a sport.”

Andy Roddick says that cricket cannot be a sport because you have to wear full-length trousers.

What he really meant:

“I don’t have the patience for cricket. The formal pants are merely an excuse.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Golf’s not a sport as well.“


Quote of the day:
The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to the idealised past. - Robertson Davies

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