TBS: Terrible Baseball Station

Andrew SCorrespondent IOctober 11, 2008

Okay, I'm really pissed off right now. Let me tell you why. It is partially because the Red Sox are losing 8-6 to the Tampa Bay Rays in Game Two of the ALCS. But mostly it is because of the terrible baseball coverage on TBS.

Actually, it's not really TBS; it's you, Chip Caray. I decided to give you a second chance after last year when you practically had an orgasm every time the Yankees got a hit in the ALDS against Cleveland. But I can't be quiet anymore.

I'm a diehard Red Sox fan, and I'm a little upset over the way you're calling this game.  Let's compare your home run calls between the Rays and the Red Sox:

Pedroia's home run: A high flyball to left field. Pedroia homers to the first row. The Red Sox take the lead.

B.J. Upton's home run in the same inning: Upton hits a deep drive to left field!!!!!! It's gone!!!!!! B.J. Upton absolutely crushed that ball and the Rays are right back in the series!!!!!!! YOU JUST CAN'T KEEP THE RAYS DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, those weren't the exact words, but you get my point. Another good example would be in the first inning when Carlos Pena doubled. You said something to the effect of, "The Rays are back in this series!!!!!!!!!!!" This is on a two-out double. In the first inning. With the Rays trailing by two.

I don't care if you root for the Rays, Chip. Just let someone who is not a diehard fan call the game. Then you can sit in the stands and ring your little cowbell with your pink Scott Kazmir jersey on. So I guess what I'm asking is that you leave your job. You don't need the money. In fact, I will pay you not to call baseball games anymore.

Do some soul-searching and think about what you really want to do. Do you want to keep rooting from the announcer's booth for whatever team you choose, or do you want  to be in the stands with the rest of the fans?

It's your choice, but remember that if the Red Sox win the series, it would be pretty embarrassing for you to cry in the booth. Remember that it's just a game. Please try to control your voice and your bowels for the remainder of the series.