Michele Gutierrez Calls Out Lindsay Lohan and Has Words For Dana White

One of the most dangerous prospects in the Women’s 120 lbs division, Michele Gutierrez is comparable to the human form of a black and white cookie.

Albeit, an incredibly sexy black and white cookie that, at the drop of a dime, will punch a hole in your face.

At first glance, Gutierrez looks like the type of girl that you used to daydream about in high school. It’s almost impossible to find a flaw in her.

From top to bottom, she is unbelievably gorgeous, both in her physical appearance and in her character.

But there is another side of Gutierrez. A dark side that only her opponents and training partners ever get to see, a side that would make both Darth Vader and Dr. Evil soil themselves in terror if they ever bear witness to it.

This version of Gutierrez is known as “Diablita,” a moniker that was bestowed upon her in the early stages of her fighting career and a name that will forever strike fear into the hearts of all of her opponents of the past, present and future.

Gutierrez cites her second professional MMA fight, a 17-second TKO victory over Amy Stacey, as a perfect example of how her mentality changes when it’s time to throw down.

“Did you see when she flew into the ropes? I was standing over her and I was like ‘get up… get the [expletive] up’, I was possessed or something because I would never say that,” Gutierrez said.

“I would never use the ‘F word’ outside of a fight [because] I just don’t talk like that. Wanderlei [Silva] loved it, when I went back to the corner he was like ‘Oh baby, you’re so mean,’ he loved it.”

An undefeated professional boxer before making the jump to MMA in 2009, Gutierrez trains under arguably the most devastating striker of all time, Wanderlei Silva, as part of the WAND Fight Team in Las Vegas.

She’s the only female fighter on the team but also one of the gym’s star pupils. Silva has completely taken her under his wing.

“[Wanderlei] is a really sentimental [coach], he’s so passionate about it and cares so much about the people he has on his fight team. He gets emotional all the time which may surprise some people, he gets more nervous than I do when I’m fighting and he’s just so passionate about the sport,” Gutierrez said.

“The biggest thing he’s taught me is to just go forward, go forward and never show my opponent any tiredness or pain, just keep going forward with a poker face. Just like he does, he never shows any emotion on his face when he’s fighting, it’s just the same look the whole time.”

Currently sporting a 3-1 MMA record, Gutierrez is still in the developing stages.

On the feet, she has the striking pedigree to stand with any fighter in her division and bust them open like a piñata, but her ground game isn’t quite there yet.

She realizes this and is in no hurry to accept fights with those who outrank her in experience and skill level, just yet.

“Once my ground game gets up to par, I mean I’m not afraid to fight anybody, but I need to get there on the ground because they’re going to take me down. Nobody has been able to get me down yet except for Felice [Herrig] but it’s going to happen so once I get my ground game up to par I’ll start competing against the girls who are at the top,” Gutierrez said.

As far as who she’d like to square off with next, Gutierrez isn’t one to make “catty call outs” but there is one woman in particular that she would love to smack around.

“I would go after Lindsay Lohan because she’s so skanky, you know? Snooki is skanky too but there’s somewhat of a normal girl underneath all of that hairspray and tan but  Lindsay is so pale and sick looking. She needs to get off drugs, go eat some food and go for a run or something,” Gutierrez said.

Joking aside though, Gutierrez isn’t in this sport to talk trash or run people through the mud (although I wouldn’t mind being run through the mud, by her if you catch my drift).

She fights for various reasons, but what motivates her the most is to make her four year old daughter proud and to be a positive role model to young women.

“I think I’m very relatable. My manager always jokes with me and says ‘you’re like the girl next door but that can kick your ass’, I’m super relatable. I’m just a normal person, I have a kid, I’ve been there and done everything, I’ve dated every kind of douche bag out there; I know how it is,” Gutierrez said.

“I think girls can look at me like ‘she’s just a normal person and she’s not some fake movie star’. I’m just relatable and I’m very natural, I don’t wear a lot of makeup. I’m not running around in skimpy clothes. I’m someone who is normal that is living a healthy, positive, lifestyle.”

There is also one other special person that inspires Gutierrez to train harder and harder every day.

Unfortunately, this person is no longer physically around to witness Gutierrez’ success, but rest assured she is watching from above with a proud smile on her face.

Before making her MMA debut, Gutierrez lost her mother to a 10-year battle with cancer.

Initially, like most mothers, she wasn’t fond of the idea of her daughter getting punched in the face, but she supported her 100 percent in her aspirations.

“My mom hated that I was fighting [at first], she would say ‘you’re so pretty, you’re smart and there are so many other things you can do’. But when I sat down and explained it to her why I’m doing it and that it’s the hardest sport out there and it’s such a challenge, then she understood,” Gutierrez said.

“Right before she died, she started showing some interest in MMA. I hadn’t had an MMA fight yet but I was showing her some stuff and she was freaked out a little bit at first but then she told me that I was the only one in the family that has ever had a goal and I was living my dream. She wanted me to do it so after that there was no way that I could stop. Plus, my daughter thinks I’m like a super hero so I like that.”

As exciting as Women’s MMA is, it is still incredibly difficult for females to earn the proper recognition that they deserve.

Organizations such as Strikeforce and Bellator are doing a phenomenal job in promoting female fights, but Gutierrez points to comments made by a certain president of a certain MMA organization as reason for Women’s MMA not being entirely accepted by the general public.

“I don’t want to blame anyone, but the way [UFC President Dana White] is against [Women’s MMA], it’s like people love him so much and he can change the way people think. When he says things like ‘women will never be in the UFC’ that changes other people’s views,” Gutierrez said.

“Like, people who may want to watch [Women’s MMA] might say ‘Oh well [Dana] doesn’t like it so it must suck’. I don’t know if Dana will ever change his mind but organizations like Strikeforce are putting us on TV and we’re getting more fans that way so we’re definitely growing."

“If I had five minutes with [Dana White] I would just say, look at how far women [in MMA] have come in such a short period of time. He needs to see the girls who are black belts in jiu-jitsu and putting in all of these hours on the mat and also the former professional boxers, like me, and the girls who are professional Muay Thai fighters transitioning into MMA,” Gutierrez said.

“The talent is out there and our fights are more exciting than the men’s. Sometimes I feel like it [is] 1952 and men believe that all of us women should be in a kitchen cooking, that’s how I feel when [White] says things like that. Like, women cook and men go hunt for beef.”

Suddenly, I’m craving a ham and cheese sandwich, but I won’t ask my new wife Gutierrez to make it for me because she will probably drop me with a knee to the body.

Oh and yes, you did hear me correctly.

Gutierrez and I are fictionally engaged, our honeymoon will take place at the I-Hop where we will have crazy pancake sex for 24 hours straight.

“My goal is to take your obsession off of Gina Carano and you should just marry me or something. Be unique, everyone wants to marry Gina Carano.”

Mitch Ciccarelli is the sexiest columnist in MMA. A staff writer for Heavy MMA, featured columnist for B/R and host of Crouching Tiger Hidden Leprechaun MMA Radio, Ciccarelli is also a future United States Airman beginning basic training this March. He is also engaged to Eva Mendes and Jessica Simpson, Michele Gutierrez.

Follow Ciccarelli on twitter, unless you have herpes. @MitchCiccarelli