Sunday Night will be a game that only the Comic Book Guy could be proud of. Rarely in sports do we get to buildup to the biggest valley in a sport.
Most of the time the awfulness can only be measured during or after the event. At the time of the Eagles-Bengals game a few years ago, the Eagles had a winning record.
Little did we know that one of the worst games in NFL History would take place that day. That Eagles team almost made the Super Bowl.
Thankfully, this moment in time we can start the hype machine, and on Sunday Night, almost exactly one week after Super Bowl 45 began, the worst NBA game of all time will commence.
What better team to end the longest losing streak in NBA history than having the saddest franchise in NBA history do it.
Luckily for us fans of misery, LA has Blake Griffin, and I don't sense he will allow a letdown of epic proportions against the Cavs. (Then again, the forces of awfulness are so much stronger than Blake that they can even screw up the hype and lose in overtime to the Cavs. No matter how impressive the Blake machine is, the vortex of suck the Clippers possesses is so much stronger).
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What Should Happen To The Losing Team?
I previously chronicled the main reasons for the Cavs massive losing streak, and if the Clippers win Friday night it will be 27 losses in a row for Cleveland. That alone is awful, but consider that before their last win, they had lost 10 in a row.
The Cavaliers have one win since Nov. 28. Brett Favre's consecutive game streak was still going. James Starks hadn't played a down in the NFL.
The Spurs have 31 wins since that date. The players treating LeBron with respect has earned them the status as the least respectable team in recent history. Karma always gets you in the end.
The Wizards are a weird bunch, because in some ways they aren't awful. After all, they do have a winning record at home, and an exciting rookie in John Wall.
If this game were played in Washington, this would be an after thought of a game, still pretty bad, but not near the epic proportions of rot we will experience on Sunday.
The game is being played in Cleveland, and the Wizards are 0-25 on the road. Sunday is their next road game, so they are guaranteed to bring their donut and pile to this battle of the Bleh.
To think at one time, a few years ago, this had morphed into a pretty strong rivalry. The Wizards and Cavs played in the playoffs in 2006, 2007 and 2008, with the Cavs winning all three series, but some really intense close games and the invention of the Super Travel by LeBron in Game 3 of the 2006 series.
This would normally be the point where a phrase like "Oh How Have the Mighty Fallen" would be professed, but the Cavs and Wizards have combined for zero NBA Finals victories in the last 32 years.
The worst game ever is fitting that it includes Cleveland and Washington, two cities desperate for anything good sports-wise.
Cleveland has so much agony I don't want to bring any of it up, so I will focus on how terrible it has been to be a Washington sports fan recently.
The Redskins haven't made the NFC Championship game since 1991. The Capitals have made the Stanley Cup once, and last year they were the No. 1 seed and lost in the first round.
The Nationals have stunk every year since they started back up. The Wizards have won one playoff series since 1981. It's at least nice for fans of Washington to see the Wizards do well at home. Cavs fans don't even have that luxury any more.
I was thinking maybe this excitement would be catching on with the fans, to where they would rush to see the Worst Game Ever. So far, the people seem to be staying away.
Stubhub has fees, so the tickets would cost more total, but it's a good barometer to see the value of the tickets. You can buy two aisle seats to the game Sunday for 95 cents each. A Monster Energy drink or two tickets to a historical debacle. No-brainer. Although you might need the energy drink to stay awake during the game.
Who is going to win this battle? Nobody! Some lake effect snow or sprinkler malfunction has to delay this game. Zero plus zero is zero, and zero times zero is zero, mathematically there can be no winner of this game.
I'm not even sure what the winning team would do. I think they should go completely overboard and celebrate as if they won the championship, because this will probably be as much press as they get for awhile.
Break out the champagne, carry off the coach on the shoulders, have the fans rush the court, celebrate the joy of not being the team to lose the Worst Game Ever. Even if it's the Wizards.
I do have one solution to bring everyone into this game, and create a massive desire to watch the Worst Game Ever. I think both teams have proven their worth this year, and the solution is simple and inspired from other sports.
The loser of this game gets demoted to the D-League. When the Cavaliers and the Mad Ants battle, no one is safe. I sense both teams would play a lot harder if demotion was on the line.
Living it up in Bismarck and Provo and Rio Rancho tends not to be as easy, and the hard road may actually help the demoted team improve and build confidence. After Sunday, they'll need it.