Michelle Ryan and Other Famous Toe-Hoes and Lovers
The Michelle Ryan "ihaveprettyfeet" pictures, which may be a look-alike is... just in time for Christmas.
And just when you thought those stockings over the chimney mantle might go to waste!
And just when you said to your pedicurist "Make my feet look like Michelle's" here comes Silliman with a footie story.
"Toe-Toe, we're not in Kansas anymore!"
No, we're not. We're not in Kansas.
But fear not. We're going to take you on a Silliman ride full of foot fetishers and toe-hoes with enough crazy songs and weirdos to make you curl your you-know-whats. Enough to give you Tom Dempsey envy. And if you don't know who Tom Dempsey is, please Google.
We've collected a bevy of footie folks. Some are sports related, some not. Enjoy the slideshow.
Rex Ryan Answering Reporters About Wife's Feet
Listen to the video and you'll catch something we should both understand: it's a personal matter and he's not going to discuss it.
Let's clear this up. A lot of folks, media included, are supposing the foot lady is a Michelle look-alike, not the real Mrs. Ryan.
If that were the case why doesn't Rex Ryan just say it wasn't her? By constantly saying "It's a personal matter" leads everyone to conclude that yeah, they are her feet, they're pretty and it's personal.
Reporters are not going to stop once you say "It's a personal matter." They take that as a sign to dig farther. Just because it's personal doesn't mean people don't want to know.
The tape only gives a portion of the interview. Here's some of the questions you didn't hear:
"Mr. Ryan, we know you said it was a personal matter but... how often do you film your wife in her nude feet?
"Didn't you hear me? I said it was..."
Mr. Ryan, what about Jay Cutler of the Bears? Do you think he might forget a few plays thinking about your wife's feet?"
"I don't think that Jay Cutler has seen... what a moment. Didn't I just say...?"
"Mr. Ryan, Tom Brady has a super model wife. If Gisele were to try on your wife's shoes, do you think we'd see a cat fight?"
"That's a personal matter. Wait a moment. Gisele trying my wife's shoes? Where would this happen?"
"In your wife's closet. Is there room in your wife's closet for a cat fight?"
"This interview is over. I'm going home."
"One more question: Who would win the fight, sir?"
Comedian Amy Snowden and Her
Here's comedian Amy Snowden, who, besides being extremely funny, has beautiful feet. Amy was on stage with me in Austin, Texas during the Laughing Skull contest. She's from Louisiana but now lives in California.
If you get a chance to see her show, treat yourself.
In this video Amy sings about men with foot fetishes chasing after her for her tootsies.
Motley Crew Drummer Tommy Lee Is an Admirer Of The Foot
Tommy Lee is gaga about ladies foots. The Motley Crew drummer even admits to going into women's shoe shops so he can spy on women's feet.
Didn't you always suspect as much?Think about it. When Pamela Anderson was running slow motion on the beach, how was she running?
Why, barefooted, of course. And those bare feet were kicking up sand... while on her way to save some poor drowning bastard.
Bare feet... keeping up sand. What else would Tommy Lee see in little Pamela Anderson?
That's why Tommy Lee is listed here. He likes feet. And one set of feet he enjoyed belonged to a lady playing a lifeguard on TV.That's our sports connection.
Brooke Burke Has a Foot Fetish
Mark Mainz/Getty Images
Brooke Burke is a spokesman on a dancing show, so naturally, she appreciates the feet.
Says Brooke "I like feet. I definitely have a fetish. I love to see a man's bare foot but it's got to be taken care of. If they're not well manicured you got to wonder what the rest of him is like. I don't want to get in bed with somebody and feel his gnarly feet.
You have to wonder if Rex and Michelle watch "Dancing With the Stars"? And, if so, did they notice Brooke Burke always had open toed shoes? Did they also realize that on her drunken travel TV show "Wild On..." she often was barefoot? Can we ask them or... is that too personal?
Quentin Tarantino and Tyra Banks
QT and TB. Both these guys seem obsessed with feet. Does either have anything to do with sports? Not much. Tyra played Will Smith's girlfriend oin Fresh Prince and a few episodes dealt with sports. She was in "Love and Basketball" if that counts.
Watch the video from Tyra's talk show.
A Band Called Foot Patrol
Have you had enough weirdness, already? First you have Michelle sticking her tootsies out the car window. Then we're told it might not be her, some someone with her exact m.o. posting under the name "ihaveprettyfeet."
Then you have Rex Ryan not denying it's her. Rex Ryan is a good ol' boy who played linebacker at Southwestern Oklahoma State University. If it wasn't her, Rex would have flat out said so.
Then we show a genuine toe fetish participant mocking the scene with her "Toe Ho" video.
Next we show you just a few of the celebs that are into feet - Tommy Lee, Brooke Burke, Taratino, Tyra Banks. Tip of the iceberg, kiddos. Elvis, Jack Black, Enrique Iglesius, Ludicris, Ricky Martin, too many to go into.
Now, would you believe this, an entire band with music and lyrics devoted to feet?
You know where I'm going, don't you-- Foot Patrol. They're all about dogs, gunboats, whatever, they smellabrate the wonders of the foot. Anytime there is a podiatrist convention, Foot Patrol provides the entertainment.
They are an Austin band featuring T.J (Toe Jam) Wade as singer and keyboardist. He's blind, by the way, but he can love your feet and make move to funky grooves. Producer and bassist Hung Nguyen collaborates on many of their songs. Also find Jeff Hoskins on drums, Mark Rodgers on guitar, Nick Smith on trombone and Rick Redman on trumpet. They have sort of a James Brown funky sound.
You want to hear the titles? Sure, you do.
No Small Feat
Toetry in Motion
Freeze, You're Under Arrest... Put Your Feet Behind Your Head
Here's what you need to do, find a Foot Patrol CD and send it to Rex and Michelle. If they get too many, that won't be a problem. They'll autograph the covers then give them to charities to auction off.
That's the PR bonus. They will have taken lemons, a potentially embarrassing situation, then converted them into lemonade with lots of money raised for charity.
No charity in the world will say "I'm not taking foot money." Foot money is good money, and more publicity friendly than other fetishes.
Do it. Listen to the songs. Send gifts to Rex and Michelle.