Survivor: The 10 Best Athlete Contestants
This past weekend, Jimmy Johnson attended the CBS Survivor: Nicaragua Finale and Reunion Party. Even though the coach didn't make it to the finals, or even stay long enough to get a tan, he did finish ahead of one person. Which begs the question, "Who would be the best athlete to compete on Survivor?"
After much consideration and several minutes looking at the past winners, here are the ten best athlete candidates:
No. 10: Michael Phelps
Phelps will crush anyone in a water challenge, but will likely flop if the challenge takes place on land. Even though he is a fierce competitor, his lack of intelligence and inability to speak clearly will result in his early departure.
If it wasn't for his insane diet regimen, he could probably last a bit longer, but berries, fish and the occasional peanut butter will not add up to the 12,000 calories his active body demands and will eventually result in a serious meltdown for this Olympian.
No. 9: Tom Brady
Brady has the athleticism, personality and smarts to take the Survivor title. Unfortunately, he is a born leader, so you might as well just put a target on his head. Although Brady is a likable and intelligent guy, his hair cannot withstand the intense winds and salty waters of the ocean.
If he can keep his ego in check, and somehow sneak in some conditioner, then he can survive. However, his recent sideline chats indicate that he will likely explode on one of his tribe members when they fail to catch a coconut thrown their way.
No. 8: Tonya Harding
It doesn't matter if this former lightweight figure skater is now 40 years old and 40 lbs overweight—she is a hustler and a dangerous competitor.
As the first person to punch a guy in the face and stab someone in her tribe with a sharpened stick, she will emerge as the most feared player in the game. After winning a couple challenges and paying someone to vote her enemy off, she will quickly be taken down when the rest of the players realize that she is their biggest threat.
No. 7: Tim Tebow
Tebow has God on his side, for Christ's sake. Even if things go terribly wrong for his tribe, he will somehow rally everyone through the power of prayer and motivate them to great lengths. Nobody would vote him off out of fear of being sent to purgatory, and let's face it, the kid is an athlete.
Without his daily phone calls to Urban Meyer and without his family by his side, his time on Survivor will most likely end sooner than it should by withdrawing himself from the competition.
No. 6: Johnny Weir
Johnny Weir is the dark horse of the competition. When the cameras start rolling, who knows what character you're going to get. No one will really think of him as a threat, so he will simply be forgotten when it comes time to vote contestants off.
His feminine nature will be seen as a weakness and allow him to play both sides of the game. Despite his lack of girth, he will probably be a fairly decent competitor. Just don't expect much out of him when he notices that he has to wear the same outfit for the entire duration of the show.
No. 5: Herm Edwards
Known for his motivational speeches and incredible leadership, Herm would be a great contestant on Survivor. His age and wisdom sets him apart from the competition and that is both a good thing and a bad thing.
He would most likely have the best strategy entering the game, but be thrown into the elimination rounds simply because of his age. If he can manage to show his worth, he could easily find himself fighting for the title.
His time will come to an end when goes off on a guy for using his dress shoes as fish bait.
No. 4: Jennie Finch
J. Finch will crack the top five with ease. Her athletic skills will keep her away from the elimination challenges and her good looks will keep her on the island. Her ability to crack coconuts with one swift underhand motion will become her greatest asset, but once the guys realize that she is married and smarter than they imagined, she will quickly become the enemy.
Jennie will likely be voted off in favor of keeping someone less aggressive and less committed, but don't be surprised if she has an ace or two up her sleeve.
No. 3: Lance Armstrong
If there is anything that this man can do, it is survive. I mean, come on, he literally beat cancer, so I'm sure he can handle whatever the producers of the show manage to throw at him. His mental toughness accompanied by his sneaky come-from-behind tendencies will take him far in the game and lead him into the top three.
He will most likely be voted off when he argues with someone who was complaining about a burn that they got while starting a fire. After hours of explaining what true pain feels like, Lance will unanimously be voted off the island.
No. 2: Maria Sharapova
This should come as no surprise. Sharapova is athletic, good-looking, and blonde, so she automatically gets thrown into the final two. Even if she wasn't athletic, and lost every single challenge, she would still not be voted off.
Her strength comes with her ability to play the "Im just a girl" card, while she effortlessly stabs the other contestants in the back. As long as she puts on a sports bra and runs behind the tribe leader, she will be safe from elimination.
Her only weakness is her inability to pick up balls 10 feet in front of her, but that shouldn't come into play during this competition. You never know with some of these challenges, though.
No. 1: Ron Artest
With a background in the projects and the sanity of a mad man, the kid from Queensbridge has seen more in his childhood than the producers of the show have seen in the jungle...and their lifetime. There is literally nothing they could do to shock him or throw him off his mark.
His athletic ability matched with his stability issues and outrageous personality makes him the perfect triple-threat competitor. Not only would he be a fan favorite, but he would also dominate those around him in any Fear Factor type of challenge.
He is fine with letting others take the reigns and riding their coattails to the final, but he shows up when he needs to, and that is why he is the ultimate Survivor.