While perusing the news-wires today, I came across an item whose title warranted my attention: "Weaver's Start Pushed Back Thanks to Cuts From Dugout Bench."
ESPN's article then proceeded to describe Jared Weaver's injury, sustained "while pushing himself up off the bench in the visitors dugout at Detroit's Comerica Park on Tuesday night." He will miss his next start due to the cuts, which he described as "like paper cuts, but deeper."
This story got me to thinking, what are some of the goofier injuries that baseball players have sustained over the years? Here is a list of the weirder ones.
Jose Cardenal missed a game in 1972 because he was kept awake all night by crickets chirping in his hotel room. He also missed a game in 1974 because he claims to have slept wrong and his eyelid was stuck shut!
John Smoltz burned himself while ironing a shirt...which he was still wearing (this one is an urban legend that has neither been confirmed nor denied).
Ricky Henderson missed several games in 1985 because of frostbite. In August.
Glenallen Hill fell through a glass coffee table and crawled through the broken glass while having a dream that he was being devoured by spiders.
Kyle Farnsworth missed time during the 2004 season after kicking an oscillating fan in the clubhouse.
Adam Eaton stabbed himself in the stomach while cutting the shrinkwrap off a DVD.
Felix Pie missed time during spring training in 2008 with a twisted testicle. Eeeesh.
Speaking of testicles, Chris Snyder was on the DL earlier this season with a fractured testicle.
One more for the testicle crowd: Ken Griffey Jr. missed a game after pinching his right testicle between his leg and his protective cup.
Marty Cordova fell asleep in a tanning bed and burned his face so badly he couldn't play.
Thanks to Tom Boswell for this one: Clarence Blethen thought he looked more menacing on the mound without his false teeth in. So he put them in the back pocket of his uniform pants. He was then forced to miss time when he slid into second base and got bitten in the butt with his own teeth!
Terry Harper dislocated his shoulder while waving a runner home on a passed ball.
Steve Sparks suffered the same injury while trying to tear a phone book in half.
Finally, Denny McClain, who won 30 games in a season for the Tigers, claimed to have gone to bed in perfect health, then woken up with four dislocated toes.
So we've run the gamut from testicles to oscillating fans to tanning beds to false teeth. If you have any injury stories, please feel free to share them!