South Carolina Gamecocks Request Relief From Future Home Games (Humor)

The NCAA has scheduled an emergency meeting at the request of The University of South Carolina.

Sources say USC's athletic director has petitioned the NCAA to be excused from playing the remaining six home games for the 2008 season.

At this time, USC has asked for no relief from away games. 

NCAA officials will meet with coach Spurrier and USC's athletic department in Columbia on Tuesday to discuss this unprecedented request.

USC athletic officials are remaining tight-lipped about the situation, but sources within the college say the problem is footballs.

Yes, footballs.

It is customary for home teams to provide footballs at each game.

It is also tradition for a player to keep a football intercepted from an opposing quarterback.

Tommy Beecher's four interceptions in Thursday's game sent shockwaves through USC's financial department.

USC's head accountant, D. Pleat Funds, offered an explanation:

"Our concern is his ratio of interceptions to completions," Funds said. "He had threw interceptions in the final spring game, and four more in Thursday's opener. Our computations have concluded that we could lose one ball for every four or five passes he throws. At an average of $45 per ball, playing six more home games will blow our complete 2008 budget."

Beecher left early in the fourth quarter due to injury.

It is speculated that Spurrier was told by his superiors to pull Beecher before he depleted next week's travel budget.

More on this developing story later.

Hoping this article doesn't get intercepted, I am David Yeazell.