If you grew up like I did watching Spike TV or "World's Most Amazing Videos" or "When Animals Attack," you surely have seen your share of animal-on-human violence.
Most of the time the worst ones seem to involves bulls.
Thus, I've compiled the 20 Craziest Bull Fighting Videos You've Probably Never Seen for your amusement...and horror.
You watch too many videos of these bulls goring people and throwing them up in the air, you start to feel a bit nauseous.
Readers, you're welcome. Compiling this list scarred me almost as much as when I watched "Paranormal Activity."
This video qualifies as probably a "2" on a scale of 1 to 10 of the remaining videos you are about to see. Just warming you up.
Notice the traditional "gore, fling, and trample." Notice how the fighter doesn't look well afterward.
First of all, there's something wrong with throwing a midget into a bullring. That's the first thing that's wrong with this picture.
The second thing that's wrong is what the bull does after flinging this little person to the ground.
That's just not cool.
In July 2007 at a high school rodeo, it was just another bull ride.
The bull ride wasn't too bad. Unfortunately, what happened after was.
Apparently in high school no one cares to secure a bull before a cowboy rides a horse into the same ring.
This horse found out the hard way what happens when bull meets horse. Horse lovers look away.
I'm sure the horse didn't appreciate getting a hat to the face after getting attacked, too.
This clip lasted only four seconds. I'm pretty sure the guy who got hit lasted only four seconds before going unconscious.
The bull didn't do too much damage in this one besides love-tapping a couple of spectators, but what made it amazing was this bull's sheer strength, crashing through a wall as if it was made out of cardboard.
Apparently walls can't contain bulls. Well, that's not good.
It's Christmas Day in Zapote, Costa Rica. So of course the first thing that comes to mind is, "Why don't we all run around in a bull ring and risk death?"
This man at least wins $40 for his troubles.
But he's got to ask himself after, "Why Me?" There were hundreds of people in the ring, but this bull decided to go after just one: one poor soul.
Don't know what the elf hat is about, but this guy won't be singing carols anytime soon.
I like the uplifting music though. It's so honorable how those bullfighters protected the little elf from harm...after the damage had already been done.
First thing I thought when I saw this video is bulls must be fast if they can catch motorcycle riders.
Second thing I thought was, those bull fighting arenas aren't constructed very well.
Third thing...Oh, look at that guy in pink pants. Oh no, don't run at the bull! No! Ahhhh!
Pink pants man had it coming.
Don't know if this is the same elf, but he's really got to stop being a hero. Go back to making presents or something, this bull fighting thing just isn't working for you.
I like how everyone golf claps when the elf is lying face down after just getting run through by a bull.
Such a gentleman's game.
I'd like to think this was the elf's last attempt at bull fighting. Or at least don't wear your hat to the fight, it might be me, but it seems to attract the bull.
In this double feature, I thought the first guy had it bad, getting gored into the air then slammed onto his head.
But the second guy had it far, far worse.
I ranked this so high just because of the sheer idiocy of this entire experiment.
"Hey guys, let's sit around playing poker and just wait for the bull to crash into us!"
One particular man's poker game was seriously interrupted.
I guess his poker face didn't intimidate the bull.
I don't know what's worse, the attack or the fact that a perfectly fine game of poker was rudely interrupted.
This has got to be one of the most amazing feats of heroics I've ever seen. And it came from a dog.
This man was in danger of losing his life. Good thing this dog has the heart of a champion.
Talk about man's best friend. I would give this dog a lifetime of meat bones for this feat.
This dog is so wise. He's like a "miniature Buddha, covered in hair." That line was courtesy of Ron Burgundy.
It's one thing to be flung up in the air like a rag doll.
It's another to be completely embarrassed.
This poor soul had to endure both of these things.
WARNING: Backside nudity.
Bulls need to learn how to express their feelings of anger without thrashing someone around.
By the looks of the wounded, the victim probably agrees.
At least he was able to slowly...crawl...away.
This has got to be one of the most painful videos I have ever witnessed. It hurts me just watching it.
This is no way to live your life, dude. Give it up.
The title of the video couldn't be more dramatic.
There are few things more painful then getting gored through your seat cushion.
This is one of those things.
All you males out there, look away.
This goring was reported to puncture the bull fighter in the vein and artery. I can think of another thing it punctured.
And seriously, did this have to be shown in HD?!
The name says it all. It appears all of Spain was attacked in this video.
These spectators could not have seen this coming.
This crowd found out the hard way that a red bull can really lead to the growing of wings.
There are probably few things more terrifying than an enraged bull plowing straight for you.
OK, I'm being very serious now: if you don't want to see a gory gore, DO NOT WATCH THIS VIDEO.
It is one of the worst things I have ever seen in my life.
You have seen 19 horrific bull attacks, you can skip this one.
I mean it, THIS IS NOT FOR THOSE WHO GET QUEASY EASILY.