Star Australian rugby player Joel Monaghan quit the Canberra Raiders when Internet photographs surfaced of him performing a sex act with a dog.
Monaghan was attending an end-of-season house party with players and friends, when a photo was snapped of him and his teammate's Labrador dog.
Monaghan, 28, had a $250,000-per-year contract.
Whoa, hold it.
I'm not sure I can write this story. I know when I started Silliman on Sports, I made a commitment to bringing the strange sports stories to my readers.
And I said I would search worldwide for these stories. Which, strangely, many times involves rugby players.
But, a Labrador having sex with a rugby player? You'd think a Lab would have better taste.
I mean, sure, Monaghan is embarrassed and is getting run out of Australia.
But what about the Lab? Her pictures showed up on the Internet, also.
The Lab is going to have to live with shame she did it with a rugby player.
She's going to tell her dog buddies that there was no penetration, and there wasn't. She's going to tell them she was offered a bone and doesn't everybody like bones?
And then she's going to say she didn't realize the bone was still attached.
And they'll come back, "Yeah, sure. But it was still a RUGBY player!"
And then other dogs will pipe up, "It's not a golfer. It's not even Greg Norman."
And then all the dogs will gather around and repeat, "It was a Rugby player. A Rugby player! They go out to the pub after a match without showering, all sweaty and grimy..."
Joel Monaghan accepts total responsibility and said so in his resignation speech.
"I was drunk," Monaghan said. "The dog did not seduce me. The dog was pretty, yes, but she is not at fault."
Monaghan went on to say he was moving to England and will try to get on with an English Rugby team.
Yeah, like there is no Internet in England.
And nobody with cameras. And, of course, there are no Labradors in England.
Absolutely no Labs.
And, of course, Labs in Australia never communicate with Labs in Britain.
Wow. Is this type of thing unusual for rugby players? Not really.
Silliman on Sports has reported many strange rugby related events. That's why I thought the dogs would be aware.
I can list 100 events where rugby players acted crazy (they wear no helmets), but I'll just list two.
1) There was a rugby player named Johnny Raper in the 60s and 70s who walked through the streets of Leeds completely naked, except for a bowler hat. His name was Raper, and he did this every week.
2) Craig Gower, captain of the Panthers, got drunk at a charity golf event in 2005.
He allegedly verbally abused guests, groped a teenage girl, hit the girl's brother over the head with a beer bottle, then vomited on him.
He then allegedly stripped down, streaked around the golf course, totaled a golf cart, held a butter knife to the neck of a Sydney radio announcer, before throwing it at a hotel guest,and then engaged in a brawl with resort security.
You know what rugby players call this behavior? Saturday.
The dog should have known.
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